Between the Lines

New Look, New Perspective

2011-12-14T13:56:00.002+08:00

Time flies since 2005 when i started this blog.
Young was I when everything took me by surprise and I loved it and embraced them like fireworks in the sky.
From graduation to beginning a new job, to experiencing a 'flying' career, to meeting the love of my life, to studying in a bible school to returning to get married, to moving twice a year, and to find out we're going to be parents soon! Life's been so far like fireworks again... only this time, it took longer for me to appreciate it when it was happening in front of me. It is like looking at the reflection of the water when the fireworks are in the sky.

But nevertheless, I give thanks to the Lord my God for not forsaking me at times when i had ignored and turned my back on Him, only to find that He is always there and willing to take me back. I'm forever grateful and can never repay Him for what He has done for me before I was even alive!

Reviving this blog was a minute decision. I had ignored it because i felt some stranger is going to look at it and i didn't like it. But now i do have some time on my hands, so why not just a glimpse of my life, and thanksgivings of everyday?

CONFLICT is Not Bad

2009-12-08T16:02:00.001+08:00

Prov 17:10

A single rebuke does more for a person of understanding than a hundred lashes on the back of a fool.

*When you rebuke someone, you make that person better.

*Conflict resolution should always be motivated by LOVE

2 Timothy 4:2

Preach the word of God. Be persistent, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching.

KEYS TO DEALING WITH CONFLICT

1. Deal with it
2. Sit Down and write out what is bothering you. Pause.
3. Before confronting, determine your goals :- you primary, secondary and any added bonuses
4. Take control of your emotions
5. Get the facts right first. Do your homework before confronting.
6. Hint dropping is evil - are you plotting something up your sleeve?
7. Treat others as you would want to be treated

* Try to see the other side
* stay away from Attacking words/phrases like :
-------- "you always!"-------- when its not true....
--------"you never!"----------
---------"I hate that you" -------- "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger." - Psa 15:1
8. Use phrases that are non- threatening like ----" It seems as though.....
9. Don't exaggerate things
- Realize that the action was bad and not that person.

Trying my own Fried Fish Soup!

2009-11-29T07:27:00.007+08:00

Inspired by only the ingredients i have to play with :-
Fish, Garlic and one egg.... i went to seek a recipe that could help me make a dish.

I found Stir-fried Fish Cubes and as i try to find the other ingredients in my brother's house ( yes, i was home alone )- i found tapioca flour, dried shrimp, no scallions - so i used celery and no ginger...decided to use garlic... i figured, i'd not have stir-fry, why not make soup? since the couple are not feeling well... they might like a little soup...

and then... viola...my fried fish! how did i make it?

2 Tablesp of Water
2 Tablesp of Flour (Corn or Tapioca)
1 egg white
2 pieces of Tilapia Fillet ( chop into cubes )
and a pan of vegetable oil, heat on high till u see bubbles...means hot!
then dip the fish cubes in mixture of flour,egg and water and put into the pan to deep fry... fry till golden brown!

Next the soup base...decided to just add whatever i can find since i can't go anywhere to get the ingredients in the website...

Ingredients for soup base:-
2 stems of celery (chopped into slices or cubes -for the crunchy feel)
1 Tablespoon of dried shrimp (soaked in water before adding into soup)
3 cloves of garlic (sliced)
1 Tablespoon of Miso soup base(enough to give you a clear yet tasty soup)
1 egg yolk (leftover from the making of fried fish) and then put the fried fish into the soup when ready to eat!

And then there was Fried Fish Soup! Honey potato! finally made something we always like to eat in Singapore... at least mine looks close to that...
To finish, add to soup some fried red onions.

How to make Papaya Pickles

2009-10-20T12:27:00.006+08:00

Papaya Pickles Recipe

Ingredients :

1 Green unripe papaya

1 tablespoon Salt

6 Bird's eye chili (chili padi)/ 2 Big RED CHILLI

250ml Vinegar

250ml Water

250g Sugar

Method :

*

Skin the papaya before cutting into halves.
*

Remove the seeds.
*

Cut the papaya into 1 inch thick slices then cut each piece into thin slices without cutting all the way through. This allows the pieces to be opened up into a fan shape.
*

If preferred, cut the papaya into thin slices.
*

Put the pieces of papaya in a clean mixing bowl.
*

Add the salt, mix and allow to marinate for about an hour until the papaya turn soft.
*

Squeeze out excess liquid.
*

Put vinegar, water and sugar into a heavy-based saucepan and bring to a low simmering boil for 15 minutes.
*

Remove saucepan from the heat and leave aside to cool completely.
*

Pack the papaya slices and chili padi in a glass jar and pour in the cooled vinegar syrup.
*

Allow to marinate for about 3 hours before serving.
*

Store pickle in the refrigerator for an extra crunchy taste.

+ Recipe above is from a website i found, but those are my pictures.I really made em!

# It gives you a spicy, sweet and sour taste. Made it because the papaya was rotting on the outside and not ripe inside.So I'd rather not waste the papaya. Make pickle! You can use unripe yellow papaya too! TRY IT!

+ It also reminds me of my mom as we use to make em for pickle in a Big " Horlick " glass bottle. Anybody remember those days? HORLICK! hehe....++++

Korean drama 18 vs 29

2009-03-05T05:43:00.003+08:00

With eng subs,I watched the whole series within 2 days! staying in Zurich, Switzerland. Its such a heartwarming yet annoying love story... sometimes I'd wished they would just be truthful to the one they love, then things won't be so complicated.Be truthful even when it hurts the other party...?

I Love you ,Sarang Hei!

Happy Chinese New YEAR!!! 2009

2009-02-07T23:39:00.012+08:00

Chinese New Year @ home with my frens and loved ones is such a blessing...
I love the reunions.... and the chatterings... and the sharing of each moment,
Here are some pictures to share. Apologize for randomly organizing them Not an expert...But Enjoy!

Spot the little sparrow?

Speaking to Tom on webcam!

Lunch at Ah Poh's

Firecrackers still going!

Old Movies have more "Heart".

2008-08-28T02:25:00.002+08:00

A descent day....

2008-07-30T23:32:00.003+08:00

20th July '08

It was a clear day, full of God's amazing touch of color and sweet aroma of the morning dew. I woke up at 4am in the morning for a flight to Saigon. Ever heard of the theatrical play - "Saigon"? Its a good play...seen from a series of compiled theme songs sang in plays like "Phantom of the Opera", "Oliver Twist" and so on.

Well it was a quick and pleasant flight no matter how full the load was on the way back. I was glad my standby day had gone and half a day more to spend with my deary. We were preparing to take a bus to KL the next day to begin our holiday for a week.That same afternoon, we went for a scrupulous Japanese lunch to celebrate 2 good friend's birthdays on the month of July. A good meal and a car to drive. My dearest Gavin decided to give me time to pack for the trip before taking me for a nice dinner up a hill.

Then we took a slow and breezy walk up Henderson's waves (bridge) that descent night. What a sight and what a night with stars and the moon brightly shining after the clouds had cleared, for it rained a drizzle earlier.The wave-like bridge is a spectacular work of art, and I would really love to walk there in the day again.

While walking back the path we took, Dearry stretched and gave me a big hug, and asked me if I loved him. I said the very obvious and wondered why his heartbeat turn a tum-tum so fast. He told me it was bcoz he was"**stretching**". Little me believed him and little did i know, the tum-tum heartbeat became a tra-tum-a-tum faster and He was on His knees! With a diamond ring! ...."Will You Marry Me?".....(story cut short after that)

What a descent day..... We are planning to get married in two years time... not too long a time to get over my shock, not too short to plan ahead, but a pretty sweet and original proposal to last me a memory. "I LOVE YOU HANZE, GAVIN"

Bloggerlings

2007-08-09T11:43:00.000+08:00

Hahha... love the word bloggerlings...maybe in the latter years we'll all be called "The Bloggerlings" instead of humanoids...hehe.. okok... just crapping...

So how's me? hmm... not too bad... did i mention i pass my probation? well its by God's grace again... as one of the under averagely rated staff, it must have been God's favour to pass me! hehe... so.. the more i should strive harder for the next performance review.

I'd always love to add some pics to every posting but sometimes i'm on different computers and i dont have my pics with me...so i apaologize...
Oh yea... must add this... my bro got married in June and his wedding pictures are found in his blog..so do drop by... i think they look absolutely gorgeous a couple~
WElcome "Dar Sao" ! hehe.....plus we had such bonding moments back home with Gavin, Michel, My Family, Sara, Vivien and Raymond, among others.

Missing them was one biggy difference after everyone left and when i left togo back to work. So all i had closer to me was my honey Gavin. Awwww.... so sweet...I'm glad i have you! hehe..... but of coz its always good to be home to Penang. Although most of the time only for short 3days after a long flight.

Today is Singapore's national day, and maybe, just maybe i'll be able to catch the fireworks display with Gavin. And catch it in picture to post it here!

Anyways love to blog more about my adventures and mishappenings...but the day has started to rain heavily....and its just so nice to sleep....heheh....ciaoz...Zzzz

TIme Goes By...

2007-07-16T03:54:00.000+08:00

Since January, its been 7months now! Unblogged...Unwritten. I've been many places n experienced different events. Writtting again seems strange and i've explored less on the art of writting. Hmm..... but its good to begin again.

I've passed my probation and have learnt to enjoy my flights, giving thanks for the good, and accepting the bad. Learnt to live as if life seems the shortest, and appreciate "time". ***Psalms 23:1 The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want.***

When you know u cant hold on to the most dearest to you in life, you count on God for it. You must learn to trust and learn to let go. Learn to say i love you Lord, and trust that He loves me even more! "If God is for me,who will be against me?" Love that!

I've learn to love, learn to give and learn to accept, adapt and appreciate people most of all. As you touch one, another gets blessed. I've also learn that I can be very negative and affect another, which isn;t good. So lets be good influence.

And the best is, I've learn to be loved. Thank you darling, for loving me and showing your care and concern, even when we are miles apart and prayers over the phone makes our hearts grow fonder of the love of Christ for us, makes us stronger! Thank you family, for your unconditional love,making me miss home and comfort living. You are understanding n forgiving, teachinng n nurturing,n best is knowing you missed me too!!!

To everywhere i go, i miss being with my loved ones most! I wish to be with you in these beautiful places i've been!

My Family

Dad

Mom

My Darling

My Uncle

At Moscow!

Giza Pyramids at night~*

Riding on camels & horses...

Sandunes at Dubai

Lovely sunset (^)

Hot Chocolate on a chilly morning at St.James Park nearby Buckingham Palace, London.

Big Ben behind me, n a spetacular river view!

Top view, Christchurch, NZ.

Paris ~ Arc De Triomphe Etoile

Adelaide's beach sunset,awesome art of God!

Harbour on the set of Sausalito, San Francisco.

To Regenerate and REfresh

2007-01-29T05:05:00.000+08:00

I fell sick on the second day of rest accreditted for my trip to Christchurch. Little did i ask for were 3 more days of rest and to regenerate my strength in the Lord my God. I received love from far and near, Family, Christian brothers and sisters and friends. Again i felt His presence being with me. I managed to attend a cell group gathering, and sunday service. God cares for my soul and for the purpose I was put in this job. His messages from His Word, songs and books and His sermons encourages me and affirms me that my reason on earth and particularly in Singapore was for a reason i had forgotten, coz the busyness and the tough culture i had to align myself in. But today i say..... nothing is greater than being with the Lord! Even in foreign places have i felt His care.

I was in France with friends, Florence and Samuel, and they were praying and singing in French. My heart filled with tears and heart touched to see that all around the world, worship is lifted up for the God Almighty! and We ever so need A God in our Lives! I was in Christchurch and the nature spoke to me of This Creator who thought of all this before we even see them with our eyes. I was at sunday service and the preacher says, "What good gifts were not but given by God Himself?" and what can we do but use them for the Salvation of the society around us? How can your life touch others? How can YOU be Successful in what you do that when people start to ask, you have the opportunity to share the Redeemer Who LIVES!??

Think about it..... pray day by day till they are answered.

Psalm 23. Like the sheeps on the green pastures, Let us graze in His watchful eyes, food for the Soul~*

A trip to Akaroa,Christchurch on 20th Jan '07

2007-01-20T15:05:00.000+08:00

Almost didnt get a chance to join this tour, but blessed i am, the trip was awesome! despite the drizzle rain and strong winds...the Akaroa Dolphins Cruise was fantastic! The Akarao Shuttle bus took us down to the Banks Peninsula down to Akarao Habour and along the way, we get to see lots and lots of breath-taking views of hills and grasslands, ( the likes of 'Sound of Music', even better!) and fattened black cows and thousands of sheep feeding themselves in the carpetted greens.
And make the trip worthwhile, the cruise took off on still a rainy day, but the dolphins had decided to show up in groups, mother and baby, school of four skipping through the almost clear blue waters, and even taking a few jumps up to the air just for us! hah...couldnt catch them on camera, but the experience is still fresh in my mind, that i really want to share this with you! hehe.

There were also sightings of Black Swans and Seals. But they didnt look good on picture, and there werent' enough time to catch them on camera. Oh... not forgetting... birds of the air! The cruise did bring us around to the Salmon Farm, where they breed salmon, n i say they are really fresh, as i had a Salmon sandwich before the cruise. =P

And yes... the community there are friendly n the houses built have a little french and british influence. This is what they say in their brochure , " Our beautifully-appointed vessel, Akaroa dolphin, offers small numbers of guests an intimate cruise experience. The vessel is quiet, fast and stable allowing us to visit the spectacular seacaves, volcanic formations, high cliffs and bird nesting sites both within the harbour and beyond the entrance. A comprehensive commentary on geology, history, ecology and Maori traditions is included." Doesn't this make you want to visit the place? Its really a great holiday package...

Latest Updates!

2006-12-16T01:00:00.000+08:00

A peep at my current schedule...

Birthday on the way to Melbourne.
Christmas on the way to Dubai then Moscow till New Years!
Whether to be sad or happy.... really dont know!

But i can say this, i'll be spending a Winter Christmas away from family and loved ones this year.Wished i could spend it with you! May i see snow!!! haha.... Pray i get some really good winter coats!
Anyways...

A BLESSED CHRISTMAS TO ALL! & A GOOD YEAR AHEAD!!!

Love
Gracel.

Tummy ache @#!

2006-10-25T07:03:00.000+08:00

God is good! Its the day of exam and my tummy has not fully recovered yet.... but Praise His name... that there are no other commplications. Yesterday morn, i puked, and since then have yet to consume anything solid for the whole day....Please continue to pray for me.... need the strength to do my best today. Indeed, God is Almighty and Powerful, I will not doubt His healing power in me as i pray...

For He has brought me to a place of independance in Him..... a longing desire to rest at His feet. That when pain and desolateness arises in me, in Him i find comfort and peace. Though i may lack strength, His grace is sufficient for me. though the training can be tough, i Put my trust in Him. His Love is seen everywhere and everyday! Smile as the new day has COME!

Will i anticipate a new day of His with excitement? Will i doubt no more His promises in my Life? Will i begin to fulfill His purposes in my life? Will His grace never end here...nor His patience. Will i walk in obedience and not deny the blessings He has for me? Will I? Will I? Will I?

Books, Newspapers and Masks....

2006-09-26T00:22:00.002+08:00

I really do respect people who are into Books and Books and BOOKS! i can never sit quietly absorb in a book! Thus it really inspired me when i came across the national library here.... where all walks of life are so engrossed in the variety of thousands of books-knowledge made available in this place! They are really blessed...I might say..... with such facilities and resources....

On a thought...must a child be really taught to read from young? or the very essence of analyzing a book by its contents? How does one craves for knowledge but yet could not attain it? I get sleepy eyed in less than 15mins reading a book i'm only interested in on the first page! Tell me how can i register my mind to do some R-E-A-D-I-N-G ? instead of sleeping????....
ARGH! my brains prob decided to run on shift and decided to shut down on the minute a 'string of word's ' come between the eyes! haha..... funny.....

anyways, talking about reading....i'm so poor.... that i haven't read any book this year. And.... i haven't touched the papers for a month already ! I am so outdated! Tell me the world and i dont even know my geography well! I must be kidding myself! haha.... gotta start picturing the world map in my head.... or not i will be lost! Flying to Never Never Land! haha.... i love that story... and the big flying DOG! Ouuuu Fantasy world.....

Well.... looks like the left side of the brain is more active.....in sense of imagination, curiousity and creativity among others? hmm..... u realize that not everyone knows what kind of a person they are. Different personalities could make one person. Different persons could have a zilllion personalities, character and temperament. Many of whom u will identify and many u may not. Masks men and women walk side by side, by and by. The identity portrayed and who u really are is vague and a mystery. Thats leaves us asking.... who is really YOU? Who is really True? When will u put on the mask to love me? and When will You put on a mask to Hate me????

In this World.... many things are unexplainable and sometimes unacceptable.... but there is One God who knows All Things and that All Things were made by Him.

Unexplainable it may seem, Unacceptable at the beginning,
But soon comes Understanding, Arising from within.

I'm Linked!

2006-09-17T19:06:00.000+08:00

Hey!

How are you? How is everyone? I apologize for the long awaited updates ya. Have been rather busy with training and adjusting to the lifestyle here in Singapore. Thank God i am finally Linked! to the internet world! haha....

Anyways… I live near the MRT station at Pasir ris and so it is so far my most trustable transport system! Gotta face the facts that I don’t have a car to travel around in unlike back home…..hehe…. and most people here are about the same… public transport is efficient here… and people walk everywhere! Haha…. I don’t think I have walked so much ever when at home… hehe…. Anyways thank God for the location of my current home for the convenience of transportation and good landowners. They are very nice really…we occasionally have dinners together, the couple and the three of us who rent their place. And just recently they installed wireless in the house so i could use the internet....nice people or not? hehe....i'm Blessed!

i managed to join some friends to City Harvest Church for the last 3 weekends... Awesome!Like a live concert.... but the Guest of Honor is of course the Lord Jesus Christ! Each weekend I never fail to receive God’s blessings. The preaching of God’s Word is practical and really great to see thousands of people coming together to pray and worship and to acknowledge His presence.....God is the Same Today , Yesterday and Forever more!

My batch mates consist of 9 guys and 10 girls. Yes we have air stewards training with us. hehe….we have 4 female Indian nationals plus us, 3 girls from Malaysia, the rest are Singaporeans. So far, training has been good… it gets tougher each day… as more notes are given and more practical things to learn. We can only hope that on the day of our exam, we’ll score above average and build good rapports with our seniors and trainers. Like all other working environments, there’s always pressure and expectations to fulfill. The only perks we get will be after we graduate with a license to fly! Haha…. and you’ll expect to hear from me…. “Hey, I will be having breakfast in London, and prob dinner in Hong Kong the nex day!” hehe…..

Days are counting by, we may never meet the same people everyday, but I’m sure I will never forget the people in my life who have passed on a great deal of friendship unforgettable and so memorable…. That it moulds my character and attitude for life. Of coz there are those exceptional ones that creates such an impact in my life that Only God knows why He had sent them to me. So much so, they are like angels in civilian clothings! Haha…..

love gracel.

I'm flying on a jet plane~

2006-08-30T19:39:00.000+08:00

hahha.....can u hear me singing? well.. it been the 3rd day since i am here in SG. Awesome trip... good hotel accommodation and good frens to start with.

I manage to check my mails in the Cyber CAfe today...short update... i manage to find accomodation . PRaise God! and still praying for the medical to pass this fri... keeps you updated another time ya.... Miss ya all

Love Gracie.

JEHOVAH

2006-08-22T18:00:00.000+08:00

JEHOVAH JIREH
*The Lord My Provider - Genesis 22 :14*

JEHOVAH TSIDKENU
*The Lord My Righteousness - Jeremiah 23:6*

JEHOVAH RAH
*The Lord My Shepherd - Psalm 23*

JEHOVAH RAPHA
*The Lord My Peace - Ephesians 2:14*

JEHOVAH NISSI
*The Lord My Banner - Isaiah 59:19, Exodus 17:15*

JEHOVAH SHAMMAH
*The Lord Who Never Leaves Me - Matthew 28:20*

2006-08-09T15:05:00.000+08:00

What Jesus Might Say To You
Topic: Praying Without Ceasing

*Main Scripture*
"Use every piece of God's armor to resist the enemy in the time of
evil, so that after the battle you will still be standing fi rm. Stand your
ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's
righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good
News, so that you will be fully prepared. In every battle you will need
faith as your shield to stop the fi ery arrows aimed at you by Satan. Put
on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is
the word of God. Pray at all times and on every occasion in the power
of the Holy Spirit. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all
Christians everywhere." (Ephesians 6:13-18, NLT)

*Other Scriptures*
Luke 18:1-7; Romans 8:26-27; Galatians 4:6; Philippians 4:6-7; 1
Thessalonians 5:17; Jude 20

*What Jesus Might Say To You*
Despite the intensity of a spiritual battle or how strong or weak you
feel at any given moment, I have given you everything you need to live a
godly life and to stand your ground against any attack from your Enemy,
Satan.

With every piece of spiritual armor you put on, you clothe yourself
with me. I am your helmet of salvation, your breastplate of righteousness,
your belt of truth, your shoes of the good news of peace, your sword of
the Spirit.

But wearing your spiritual armor still isn't enough. If you run into
battle fully equipped but aren't in communication with your command
center, you will lose. You need my guidance, my wisdom, my encouragement,
and my strength. That's why it's important that you pray at all times and
on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit.

Praying at all times means staying in constant communication with me:
When you wake up, in between classes, during a test at school, while
you're hanging out with your friends, when you go to bed. Prayer is more
of an attitude than an activity. Satan loves to ambush my unsuspecting
followers. Without prayer he will catch you off guard every time.

As you pray, avoid doing all the talking. I know you have a lot on your
heart, but make room for the Holy Spirit to guide you in prayer. Spend
time in silence so I can respond to you. But also remember that you're
in the middle of a war, not just a fi ght. Other people face the same
attacks as you. They need you to pray for them as much as you need them
to pray for you.

But there's one more reason why we need to stay connected: I just like
to spend time with you!

Your Source for everything,
Jesus

*Summary Challenge*
Staying connected to Jesus is more of an attitude than an activity.

*Spend Some Time Journaling*

Taken from "Conversations with Jesus" by Youth for Christ, copyright
2006, Youth Specialties/Zondervan. Order the book
here: http://www.youthspecialties.com/product/273463
or visit http://www.Heart4Teens.com/Teen_Stories

Wisdom to do what's right

2006-08-01T15:05:00.000+08:00

Thought you might enjoy this interesting prayer given in Kansas at the
opening session of their Senate. It seems prayer still upsets some people.
When Minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the Kansas
Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but this is what they
heard:

"Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to
seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those who
call evil good,' but that is exactly what we have done. We have lost our
spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.

We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.
We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.
We have killed our unborn and called it choice.
We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.
We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self
esteem.
We have abused power and called it politics.
We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition.
We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it
freedom of _expression
We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it
enlightenment.

Search us, Oh, God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free. Amen!"

The response was immediate. A number of legislators walked out during the
prayer in protest. In 6 short weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev..
Wright is pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 of those
calls responding negatively. The church is now receiving international
requests for copies of this prayer from India, Africa and Korea.

Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio program, "The Rest of the Story," and received a larger response to this program than any other he has ever aired.

With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our nation and
wholeheartedly become our desire so that we again can be called "one nation under God."

If possible, please pass this prayer on to your friends.

"If you don't stand for something, you will fall for everything."

I fear....

2006-07-19T17:03:00.000+08:00

Another email from a fellow candidate for Sq informed us about the good news about reporting in for training in August. So far, five other girls have been given the good news. Slowly...replies are coming in one by one. We will be separated and will be reporting in on different dates. I fear i will receive the last email, or may just be rejected again. However that is not the only thing i fear.

I fear leaving home now. I dont know why or what happen to my enthusiasm in the first place.??? i fear i may die of spiritual hunger and suffer loneliness as not able to adapt to such a change in environment and maybe pressure... mostly i fear leaving my comfort and close knit of family and friends. What can i do?

Maybe if i receive the reply.... it would not be the reply i have expected....i may be disappointed but moreover i know my family will be there for me. But if i receive the expected answer.... i may not be brave enough to go with it... feeling such frailty in me... i simply can't explain how i feel now.

I fear, if the reply comes today, i may not have enough time to spend acknowledgin everyone close. I fear coz i dont know how to acknowledge some even now. I fear i may never find such friendship, relationship or close bond as with so many i have now. The fear of starting anew and being not strong now is intimidating and discouraging.

I try to share my concerns with my fellow girlfrens who are going... but i guess i get no answers that will subside my fears. So, i'm turning to the most High, expecting an answer, hope and assurance that i'll be fine wherever He puts me.

You... on the other hand... need be strong and courageous, unlike me... and press on for the things u dream of. And Maybe u can encourage me someday as we all do with our little experiences. Drop me a line....whenever u feel like it.

Cheers~

Kasih Allah melalui Yesus Kristus

2006-07-15T01:05:00.000+08:00

ROMA 8 : 35

Apakah yand dapat menghalang Kristus mengasihi kita? Tiada sesuatu pun dapat menghalang Kristus mengasihi kita : baik kesusahan, kesukaran, penganiayaan,kelaparan,kemiskinan, bahaya mahupun kematian.

Beautiful.....so beautiful.....beautiful is this song of You~
Beautiful.....so beautiful.....beautiful is this song for You~
In all in all for You...

So beautiful are You.

Come Lord we pray that the skies open wide
Lord we worship you from afar
As you listen to... our voices sing high above...take pleasure...take pleasure
Like streams of the river flow... the quiet serenity of You
I rest in peace my doubts of You
As i warmth in Your presence
Like the warmth of the sun
I calm myself down in You

So Beautiful are You.
So Beautiful are You.

Sudden Death

2006-07-13T09:36:00.000+08:00

If suddenly u were caught in an accident, What Would You Do? You are pinned down under the wheels, you can't move and its raining! Flash backs of your life and the recent argument you had with your mother runs through your head! You know u are going to die....But wait! "I can't DIE!"

Within that very few seconds, you saw what looks like a Endless Pit of Fire and the scorching heat, the foul SMELL of burnt and rotting flesh! Screamings of dead people! What!? "House of the Dead?" Think it crawling in your skin...you dont have guns to shoot em now...What now!? Blood everywhere and horrifying faces are looking at you now...They are calling for you to JOIN em! S***! Was that the last game you played before the accident? Sure doesn't fit in now~

Then as u think its your last breath, the next thing u know you are in this white room, cables all attach to you and a man in white standing before you. You can't see his face, the white lights are just too bright and u can't tell if u are dead or being judged! You try to move but the cables don't permit you, you feel motionless. Then you hear the man call in a deep voice, " ABU BAKAR...This is your final Judgement! " Wait a minute... What Abu Bakar? "That's not my name!"

You wake up and you are in a white room, nice curtains and the smell of fresh flowers. You know u are safe...But are you?! Nightmare after nightmares! You have had flashbacks, you felt the endless pains of the Endless Pit of Fire, you were judged in a white room, although it wasn't your name being called...*Phew*

But what you know now is you've been given a 2nd Chance to live your life. You know you ain't going to end up in the Endless Pit of Fire with those horrifying deadly figures. You want to know who the Man in white is and make sure He gets your Name right the next time you enter the white room.

All you need to do is call this hotline - *J*E*S*U*S and talk immediately after you dial the number.

How true can a test get?

2006-07-06T16:55:00.000+08:00

You Have A Type B+ Personality

You're a pro at going with the flow
You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer
A total joy to be around, people crave your stability.

While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity.
Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done
You're passionate - just selective about your passions

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

Updates on me life...

2006-06-28T12:36:00.000+08:00

I am working part time in Aus Ed now...administration work, typical 9-5pm work. With extra time to even blog and check mail. Well... its like staying home but i get paid... haha what a Blessing!

Alrite... the updates are, i have gotten a reply from SQ, and it seems i have to refill some documents and hopefully it will pass through the government for a succesful work permit. By the way... the month of june has been a bit relaxing and just meeting up with friends as well. I met up with my ex-colleagues and are just thrilled to find how much we can still 'click' even after half a year we haven't met. But sadly, a galfren who is my ex-colleague and ex-housemate has left to KL to work and i miss ya darling Amelia! haha... make sure u take of yourself over there! and dont forget me k~!

N lately, i have been taking dance classes at a local church grounds. Its been an amazing month of june as we learnt Rhumba, a type of ballroom dancing every once a week on mondays! and also i had a very good partner to dance with. If u are reading this partner, hats off to you! I think u got the talent, besides football! And also a dear girlfren Erin, has been going for classes with me and i am going to be lonely once she leaves for KL to start her research work. We are going to learn Rock n roll nex week! hehe... all for the 70's dance~

Anyone interested to join me, can give me a call and we can go together! its open to anyone and only need to pay rm20 for the facilities, air cond and stuff...its taught by a Prof. and his wife who just love dancing! and they are awesome!

And as for the latest poem before this, it just says what my heart wanted to say, though it sounds depressing to some, i guess our human hearts just cant escape the trials of life...even though i'm not living in the third world country, but i do have some faith struggles and as a fren always says, " Temptations are great!" and if not faced well...can really lead to something worse!

2006-06-26T17:07:00.000+08:00

Faith's Struggle
by Sarah E. Haringa

Hurdles are getting higher, God,
losing sight of who you are.
Going through the motions now,
each day like the one before...

Every hour is a test of patience,
each minute a test of strength.
Lord, how much longer must I wait?
Right now it seems you’re late...

"All in his time," so people say,
and while I know those words are true,
with the way things are going, God,
I’ve lost the comfort in that, too...

My hope is being shattered,
burdens press me to the ground.
My once-strong faith is wavering,
like Peter I’m sinking down...

I’m sailing a sea called Lonesome
to an island named Despair.
My ship has blown off course,
black clouds looming in the air...

Lightning fills the darkened sky,
and it feels like I’ve been hit.
But when I ask, "Why Lord?"
you simply say, "Don’t quit..."

Oh God, I’m your child!
Please listen to my cry.
However long it takes,
I’ll wait for your reply...

But if I have to wait much longer,
then you must give me patience.
If I am supposed to trust,
then you must give me faith...

Your answers mean so much to me;
it’s your will I’m striving for.
All I want is a glimpse of home,
to rest at last upon your shore...

Is this what they mean by
"Leap of Faith"?
When your feet can’t touch the bottom
and land seems so far away?

I want to reach out to you
despite my present fears.
Draw me closer to you now, God,
and wash away my tears...

I will rest tomorrow,
your love is all I know.
But in the storms of life, Lord,
please hold my hand and don’t let go...

Because u care

2006-06-22T18:59:00.000+08:00

Just when u know u cant make it thru life... someone makes sure they care for u and walks with you till the very end of life. Making sure u don't get hurt and making sure u always smile with laughter :)

That someone may not always be close, but near. Not always visible but present. Very quiet yet known. Shy but brave to care. Silent and sweet, comfortable to be with and certain to give u the very best in life. Struggles in expectation yet not expecting. Endures with you no doubt, till the very end.....

*Thank you.*

What really are dreams?

2006-06-13T19:07:00.000+08:00

I had such and such a thought ....What are DREAMS?

Is it a mere imagination of the mind as we slip into our sub-consciousness sleep or is it a message that is from God? or does the devil intrude into this part of us?

Have u tried hard enough that if u think too much of something or someone before u sleep, that u'll actually dream of it as well? But how do we define something so intangible , so abstract as this??? How...??? by just our own experiences i guess...

Have u ever been told, that U were in someone's dreams? You'd asked what the dream was about, as though it would be a telling of the future or the past. You think it could be psychic and tell about ur future or maybe just for laughs....ahhh....

Dreams....these are just a few..... how bout nightmares? Some people have them every nite.... i thank God i dont! Some have visions... of heaven and hell.... u can find them written in books and novels... and some wake up with big big ideas and the nex big thing is this business on the way... how amazing... how terrifying..... how...oh.. how... some say movies or films, horror especially play a big deal in nightmares...hmmm true? i dont know... i dont watch horror! dont ask me to go for any horror flicks k....

Have u wished u were in your dreams in reality?

Still around in PENang!

2006-05-23T01:05:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the long silence, i am still on the island of Penang. I am temporarily waiting for the reply from an organisation to give me the tickets to fly down to Singapore to start off a new life! Hah.... that is exactly what i am doing day by day. Well... the ambiguity is really sinking into my head.... and thoughts of the organisation might just have forgotten us who applied for the job and maybe my medical checkup was unsuccessful! Whatever is keeping them from informing us the nex step?! Patience is really being tested and doubts are increasing in my head... Oh Lord, help me focus on you despite all this doubts!

Hey people,So what exactly am i doing at home? Hatching EGGS ??? haha.... unlikely... my neighbours have chickens that coo every morning,i dont think they need another old hen here. haha... i am but helping my mom make Chinese Dumplings! ahaha.. yeah... me and mom are basicly spending quality time together making em... nice? wanna have a bite? hehe... send me your address and i'll send em Over! Alrite... still dont know what it is? Its 'BACHANG" lah! haha.... okok...i shall take another photo when i open the wrappings to eat, (sorry forgot to include)... and no we dont eat the Leaves wrapping em! It contains,'pulut' rice, beans/peanuts, meat and small dried shrimps.

Tom... Ah Poh ( my lovely granny on the right) taught us to
make em~ hehe... wanna eat the Bachang??? Yum!Yum! We had my granny over to stay with us for a couple of weeks, and it was the chinese season for some celebration when this Dumplings were made for the occasion. Me and mom were self taught by the 'guru' herself.

Besides making the dumplings, my frens and i had a barbeque yesterday at the beach... much like a reunion and a goodbye kinda thing as some are back from studies and work and likewise some going off to study and work. Thanks for making it so memorable everyone!
(Fr top) Alan, Barn, Erin (Middle) Ray, Me, Viv & Sharon (Bottom) Eric

Me, Vivien and Erin!

Life ....&....goodbyes

2006-05-09T14:47:00.000+08:00

Life has got its up and downs.... how do you deal with it?
i find it harsh... when we have to say goodbye to some friends, knowing well u might never see them again. Dont get me wrong... i'm not talking about death, or maybe that will happen. i dont know! i'm talking about people you met and spent a day talking and getting to know that person. I wonder... if the nex day... i will ever see that person again. but hope lives in us,that we might see them again.... maybe not so soon...but ....thats life?!

'Lets not say "goodbye"...unless we promise to say "hello" again -soon!'

the day will come when we shall see each other again... in white robes and smiles. but i silently hope.... we will meet on earth again before heaven. Let us mend the times we lost, let me say I'm sorry, for the things i may have done wrong. LET our frailed connections be made strong again, and maybe let us try to help each other up again, in moments when we were apart, you may have fallen and there was no one to pick you up.

Let music, lyrics and pictures help us remember each other again. Let us make new memories, only old age might erase. Let us build mansions in heaven and help others to build theirs too. I want to remember the beauty of who you are always, no matter how'd you become.

Friends forever still stands.

Gifts are for u and me

2006-05-05T00:44:00.000+08:00

#"Oh dear bridget, its me again if u remember. i am on a cross roads in my life, thinking of how i can use my gifts to serve the Lord even in the most unconditional environment! but u have inspired me to belief that those gifts are given to us for a purpose, choosing not to use them, would be foolish and i had been sad not using them too. So just like what Sarahgrace said, i'm just gonna go ahead and give my availability to God. He has His very own purpose for that very gift in me and in You! Thank u so much, u never know how much u can touch a persons life just by what u write. I'm blessed by u! Continue to write beautifully!"#

This what i commented on Bridget's wonderful POST she wrote in her blog. i feel so encouraged, i couldnt agree more with what she wrote. I hope you will be blessed and will learn not to take your gifts for granted....Oh LORD!....i spread my wings and feel YOU as Wind beneath my wings!

Down on my feet

2006-04-27T20:07:00.000+08:00

hey hey... i am down on my feet in KL. Have been wanting to go to KL for a long time since i quit my job at the bank. And then finally i'm down here and meeting up with my friends from dumc and uni friends. i am blessed.

but currently having a bit of the flu since down here and wished i wasnt so that i can eat all the great food and hang out more. so do pray for me.

Ahh.... i forgot! Its the ANNIVERSARY of my blogging history! I posted my first post on 22 April 2005. ITS been a YEAR@! HipHip Hurray! I have survived a year of updating myself and writting about the most important parts of my life in here,and most importantly....i hope i have blessed you with some of my testimonies of how God has been good to me.... and the best thing yet is... that God is still going to be good all the TIME! Praise HIM!

You know... when we reflect back at the things we write or remember the times we went through, I cant help but feel blessed that God has gotten me through the horrids and also the joys. Remembering should not hurt, but instead u should see yourself healed and better than before. I really thank God that nothing runs out of coincidence, and that God has a plan for everything!

I wish.....

2006-04-26T00:34:00.000+08:00

I wish that one day i could write in here that i'm flying to everywhere in the whole world.
I wish that i will tell u more each day on my adventures and what i'd seen.
I wish it could be easy to have wings and fly when i want to.
I wish that i can touch the stars and gaze at the moon larger than my face.
I wish i was there with you and back with you.
I wish it was just not a dream.
I wish that sometimes the wind will bring me there.
I wish that i was the wind.
I wish i could see the Northen Lights.
I wish that when i dream, there is hope.
I wish that i knew where i'm flying to this time,or will i.............~ ~ ~ ,',----<@

2006-04-24T12:45:00.000+08:00

You Should Drive a Saturn Sky

You're sleek and smooth, and you need a car to match your hot persona.
Besides, sometimes you want your top up - and sometimes you want it down.

What 2007 Car Should You Drive?

Weddings and Funerals and A risen KING!

2006-04-17T12:06:00.000+08:00

Hey guys... its been as eventful....even when i'm still jobless at this time.

April 14th...Good Friday service with my parents at the Berjaya Hotel. The speaker was Rev.Fred Seaward. Watched and heard him describe the death of a great King. Taking the whip and hearing the lashes,we picture this Great King, being deformed as his flesh was taken out of him as the whips with claws ripped his back. Then we see the Cross as He alone carried it on His back, "With splitters piercing His back even more." Imagine the pain He had to go through. They hung Him on that same Cross and He had to push His body upwards so that He could breath as His hands and legs were nailed to the Cross!

This story doesnt end like in any movies... the Hero dies.......AND......the best thing is... He didnt stay dead....He got the keys from Hell and stood before hundreds to prove HE had RISEN from the Dead! And the keys of death in His hands, tells us that we can now live eternally than eternal death and suffering. We only make one move, which is to choose to believe this name called Jesus, whose life God could have choosen to spare but instead...you know the story...was given as a sacrifice for you! I trust this story of Love overwhelms you everyday and even cause you to be so curious, you would want to find out "WHY"....dont just let me tell you in this short story...Dont just let anyone tell you the story...Take the book and read it yourself...its called the Bible.

April 15th....the wedding of a couple i had been in touch almost my entire teen life till now. My once cell leader DAnny and my big sister in Christ, Megan got married after a much long courtship...such a blessing that God has bless this union...which also brings back relationships long lost. I always think... a union brings another union...i'm talking about friends we havent seen for a long time coming back for the wedding and meeting up with them to see how they are... its been a blessing. I met up with a couple of friends...those that i had grown up with in church...and those that had gone to other places and back just for the union.

April 16th.... the day the Lord Jesus Christ rise from the Dead! AWESOME! Everywhere every one celebrates God's victory over sin and death~! Its no hoax... its the reason why we believe in God. Because if Jesus did not resurrect, there wouldn't be any reason for celebration.... and there wouldn't be any hope left for this world. Usually during Easter Sunday, many will pledge thier commitment to follow Christ when they get baptised. Its a symbol to say... we no longer live our lives like in the past...but to be a new creation in Christ, new life with Jesus. new meaning to the purpose in living and choosing to say... GOD i want to be part of your great plan for my life!

April 17th... A day begun with news of the death of an uncle back in PUSING,IPOH. My mom's brother in law. Have to go back for his funeral today.... a sudden news to us, however we weren't very close to him though...but its customary to attend the funeral of a relative member of the family. Praying for a safe journey and a pleasant stay in IPOH though the grief of the family.

There there..... all about Weddings and funerals and a Risen King!
A time to celebrate and a time to grief.

Exotic I am

2006-04-09T22:43:00.000+08:00

You Are Chinese Food

Exotic yet ordinary.
People think they've had enough of you, but they're back for more in an hour.

What Kind of Food Are You?

Amazing how we call ourselves... exotic, self proclaim heroes, peacefully radical, all-rounded feaster, tenderly outrageous, passionate believer and unbeatable among others. Nope u may not hear these names yourselves, but how often are we taken for names we are not?

Be original, forget imitating others, it'l be so hard for those who might be actually imitating You! haha... thats funny...I just have this message... improve yourself and stay true to being who you are. God made you special. YOu are you and I am me...Let us celebrate our uniqueness and thank God!

2006-04-08T01:44:00.000+08:00

You Are Kermit

Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly, you get along well with everyone you know.
You're a big thinker, and sometimes you over think life's problems.
Don't worry - everyone know's it's not easy being green.
Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies!

The Muppet Personality Test

The Morning Light

2006-03-31T10:17:00.000+08:00

O the Wonderful Cross, what the morning that gives its light. How awesome that He watches us and looks at us.He knows he has made us with substance and not far from Him likeness... How wonderful He is... and angels adore Him and music is played all day and night. No other but Him in all of HeaVen and Earth!

Let the meaning and purpose of life, again fill our hearts where there is hatred, ignorance, unforgiveness, hurt and pain, self-indulgence, pride, intimidation, suffering, hunger, self-torturing, and etc. May these end at the Cross where sins are washed away and our past just a memory. Let His grace lead you through each day. Let His glory so forth shines out from you.

May this Easter show you that Love was not in vain. May you know.....

2006-03-30T03:47:00.000+08:00

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent.
Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.

You would make an excellent:

Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor
Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer
Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer
Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor

The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

This is the result of the second time i answered the test. How ironic can it get. The first result says i should be a Teacher.
I still dont know what i want to be. But i know i cant persuade or sell, so why do i choose marketting? Can skills be trained and learned up? i mean Selling and persuading. On the other hand, i could become an actor, book editor, clothes designer, dancer and maybe a sculptor... Not DJ, i'm too naive, or art teacher, too little experience in art stuff, comedian? does anybody laugh at my jokes? i cant do graphic design, illustrator or musician without goin to school to learn about it. So thats taht....:( :)

Tomorrow Comes and Tomorrow Goes

2006-03-30T02:59:00.000+08:00

I'm living on the side walks of life. Watching as the figures walk by and frames run through. Its a busy day for some, and yet its been a lazy day for me. I am looking...but not joining them. I have yet to get a notch of truth and sometimes i've been the worst i ever am in the day and stay up all night to wonder Why i did that!

Its cruel to the body and sapping the spirit of its strength. Sleep deteriorates and the body functions with half its internal organs asleep. The heart beats with rhythms undeterred and yet the system of the brain plays a different tune. Wonders and worries collide together but when do such companies match up? Bishops and nuns have a vow to keep. A letter in a word describes the word. A common thought brings out the best in knowledge and reasoning. Sometimes, we don’t even know why we reason.

We tend to keep our love ones from the secrets in our lives, yet we run to them when we need them to listen. Trust is overly used and sometimes breached, painful and unforgiving. Stories told and stories heard, lessons learnt and actions responded. We show our care but expectations can be disappointing. Right and Wrong Decisions will be queried of you in the future, yet today we face them every minute. Not making any is not an answer but an excuse and a failure.

Happiness is your effort. What you strife for is what you get. How true will this be? Are we not submitted to the higher authority that controls all walks of life? A simpler explanation could not be as sincere as a rich man that stores up for the winter and decides to have fun all year round, that when he has finished his efforts of storing and keeping, his life is taken from him that very night. Luke 12 :16-21.

Amused by it...in awe of it

2006-03-17T19:03:00.000+08:00

Whatever u do.... catch a butterfly and watch it fly. See the blue skies with white sheep clouds swift by. Honey bees making their runs for cups of nectar. Will the world stop to look at nature at all?

Out of the morgue...

2006-03-13T17:22:00.000+08:00

Yes... test results... the round spot is now red and rosy...and no you cant have a Bite! hehe... the doctor says its at bottomline after he meassured its redness to be around 1cm. So he gave me a negative! *Phew!....its all over....I dont have Tibi and i dont need to take any X-rays to prove anything. HEALTHY!!!!!! yaya...

Ok....so application will be underway. Will send all the rest of the documents tomorrow. Nope i wont be putting up another picture of a death scene...haha....sorry i scare ya all...it was not my intention...but i take a pic of every part of body that gets some weird treatment...just like my thumb the other time.... come to think of it...why do i have all this weird things? ahha.....bah...it makes me special...*wink* anyways.... my thumb is back to normal...no more blacky...but still sensative...if u had missed my horrible thumb pictures... check out the May 2005 postings...the ugly pics are there.

Gosh....have you guys heard any Hokkien songs? this song i'm hearing is horrible! wanna laugh but cannot laugh...haha... never ever ask any hokkien to sing puhhhhleaseeeee..... especially rap...

Out of the morgue is an illustration,it doesnt mean i've been there but i have been in there in my spirit... feels as if its total death... i cant seem to find my future, nothing is certain and i am not having an income. Self-struggle seems to get a hold of me. oh...bah....pray for me yah...

2006-03-11T02:37:00.000+08:00

You Are a Powdered Devil's Food Donut

A total sweetheart on the outside, you love to fool people with your innocent image.
On the inside you're a little darker, richer, and more complex.
You're a hedonist who demands more than one pleasure at a time.
Decadent and daring, you test the limits of human indulgence.

What Donut Are You?

MANTOUX Test

2006-03-11T00:50:00.000+08:00

A certain test i had to do...Mantoux Test was the name. Sounded like Sheltox, the mosquito spray~! Anyways...there i went to the nurses room, they pulled the needle and injected the toxin. He says...(Yes, he was a male nurse)...,"You know what this is, don't you? Its a skin test to check if i had Tibi~ So they'll inject it on my hand and draw a circle....thats what it's all about. He says I am not suppose to rub it off till I see the Physician on Monday. Which is 3days later.

Blame me...I said, " Well why dont you draw a flower instead? that'll look better..." He said,"Well..i will~",chuckles. But He didn't. He left the round spot there and told me not to wash it or soap it.

So i took a morgue picture of my hand to show you that ITS THE TRUTH! haha.... so.... in 3days... i will know if i have Tibi. Maybe it'll swell...or it'll itch....or it'll be black! Will it stop me from going out? Nope! i have a tendency to draw on my hands with the absence of paper... so... it should be alrite wouldn't it???????????????? God give me strong immune system!

On the other hand...please dont think this is some Drug addicts hand after he died of drug injection overdose k...CSI fans are warned...
...haha..couldn't you possibly help to say i'm so good in disguise? hehe....ok...enough ya.... =P

Helping others to help Yourself

2006-03-08T23:43:00.000+08:00

I have this thought. But is it true, or does it work?

Suddenly it hits me that i dont have all the Problems in the world, or so i thought. The world is full of surprises and yet full of discomforts of the soul. A man cries as his only light dies in his arms. A lady moans as she looses her first love. A man lives as though his soul has left him, a girl walks down the street hoping to be heard and cared for. A boy makes his way across a street with tears and finds his mother beneath a car. A daughter sits and waits but her father will never come. A lady looks to the sky and moans her beloved, a man drives aimlessly with no happy thoughts. A serious man is only himself when he sobs at his bedside. A dear sister never forgets her dead brother. An infant will never feel his mother's love again. A patient longing for life not his.

All this happen for a reason, yet you see A teacher making it happen as though the opportunity would have been hers. Her students love her. They pour out to her and tell her their sores and sorrows. She doesn't mind getting her hands dirty with bloody bandages or that her eyes were swollen for crying with them. She is but Someone ordinary. Like us, she has her own hurts and a past. But to her all those is forgotten as she helps to comfort others. Comforting others may just help to solve our own problems.

I have many problems...some i cant share coz they are too secret in my heart, yet some are such that we can share becoz its similar to others. Yet all this comes out of life. Questioning WHY God allowed it to happen will not stop it, neither will denying it do the deal. Choose to overcome it. Be a better Person. God can help. Someday you'll be a teacher when someone falls into the same hole you did a few years back.

BABY just out

2006-02-25T01:01:00.000+08:00

Baby :Mommy, when will i be out?
Mom: Baby, please dont kick me by the side, you'll know when you come out.

Baby : But mommy, I want to see the world!
Mom : Oh, but the first thing you'll do is Cry!

Baby : Mommy, What is cry? Is it the voice i hear singing to me while i'm swimming in here?
Mom : Baby, you'll be good, daddy has been singing love songs to you and not me...

Baby : Mommy, what kind of a world is out there?
Mom : Oh there's everything here. But one day you might hate me for bringing you out to this world.

Baby : Why will i hate you?
Mom : You will hate me for loving you!

Baby : Mommy, I dont understand, i want to come out now!
Mom : Wait, your time will come.

Baby : Mommy, tell me how can i hate you when u love me so much?
Mom : I will tell you when the time comes.

Baby: Mommy, then tell me how i can love you more and not hate you someday.
Mom :Sure. I will teach you everyday by showing you how to love by loving you.

******************************************************************************************************************************
* Just a little something for a friend who is about to give birth today. I remembered a verse that goes like this, "Teach the child the way he should go, and when he grows up, he will not turn away from it."
* Teach them love, kindness, gentleness , patience and most importantly a love for God and they will learn everything else.
* Little Baby, Time will come when You'll find all the answers, right now, just let ya mommy kiss you everyday with love.

These are the few of my favourite things...

2006-02-19T18:18:00.000+08:00

As the music plays and as Maria sings, the Sound of Music captivates me again after a few years back watching it as a child. It is a masterpiece of a good musical...of which i loved. I borrowed My Fair Lady too and thought it good too...i like musicals...its like every part of your life can be sung out and danced with. A story to tell but put a tune to it,it'll be much more exciting!

I'm excited to leave the company, but also anxiety creeps in.My income will stop and i wont know when i'll be able to get a new job. When you were young, it didn't really bother you but now it does. You think of the next step to take. I cant but be awaken of the fact that we have to plan now...bout Who? will i be. What? should i do. Which? way to take. How? to plan to achieve it. I answered Why? because i dont want to depend on my parents anymore...its time they lived for their own again. To enjoy what they earned, to live without worries of us. To let them take time for each other again, to Joyfully serve God.

Hey....watcha think of my room? hehe.... cools eh? bah.... its a showroom lah!

Taking time to write...

2006-02-12T00:35:00.000+08:00

Its pass the month of January and come now the midof february. I have certainly been quiet, ya i know. Just to fill in some events that came pass the last month of January.

All month January was of mixed feelings...i dont remember what happened as though its been long history that your mind mentally erases the thoughts and memories of the past experiences. But the last two posts of January was one sad and one happy. Basicly i had been working and working and feeling worked out! thats just the case for all new freshies out to work. I mean people think banks are 9-5pm business but its NOT TRUE! i have been working till like 9pm these few days, its sapping the spirit and now i am SICK....the flu, phelgm and cough.

January is a bore... lets go to February... i took on the resposibility of being the only customer service at the bank out on the front desk. THANK THE LORD for His years of training and His doing in my life. I could never imagine being at the front and talking in all Chinese, English or Malay at all times and look at me~! I used to be a shy girl... and horribly timid and speechless...but now...THANK YOU LORD for doing the changing process in me. Its been touching 6months now, whereby the probation period will end and my boss will be giving me an appraisal and enrol me permanently as her staff. I dare not think i should continue. From day one i entered, i had been telling people i will quit the job. And Finally...i handed my resignation and will work fully till end of the month to getmy full pay. I was ever happier.

I can tell you, it has been a time of reflecting as i work my last few days with the bank. I see my colleagues as my frens.. where i learned to chit chat and talk about thier families and learn about thier difficulties and struggles at work. I never regretted those moments after completing my work and waiting for a colleague to finish hers. There were a couple of people i respected and there were those that you wouldnt want to go near. Mom says, "There is always a pin in every department wherever you work, you cant get away from it. They prick and hurt you and you still have to work with them." A friend confirms saying," you may have people you dont like, but you still have to deal with them in business." Most people say, working is so much more different than studying. They dont want friends, they want results. What happen to the work together and befriend your local colleagues? In college, we share tips, we help each other out. But now... people have turned to themselves...frens are no longer more valueable than their earnings. Has greed taken the heart of all men?

In the mean time.... quiting the job has been a long issue of thinking over and over again....and now that its done , its gonna be tough..coz its gonna be waiting upon the LORD for doors to open. I must remind myself not to be depressed at home. I must equipped myself with possiblities and positiveness. Take opportunities that come my way...make use of my time. A person has to grow, has to learn, has to work.

If you are finding it hard to live now....ask the Lord for His special grace. He can make the mountains move and split the sea!
I had also been having some frens telling me about their problems and i am wondering why me? when i have my own problems? how can i be of help? Ask God...He may have an assignment for you, or just to remind you, you are not the only person with problems, but lots more out there that have problems and no one , no God to turn too. What makes you?

I also wan to acknowledge God for His repeated blessinggs in my life as he uses me in children ministry. Taking the challenge to be part of the ministry and holding my desire to dance, is much a learning process and rewarding. HE reminded me that i coulddo all things through Christ that Strengthens me. I see myself getting bolder in terms of approaching children, learning to speak to them like adults but simple for themto understand, learning to control the class and learning their lessons before teaching them. I remember my teacher in bible class very well because she is a wonderful teacher! Like in the Bible it says, "let those who can teach, teach!" I know my God has plans for me...and i'm learning to be in His plans not just part of it. The Lord has helped me love children, which i was so scared to in the past. Change can be good. :)

Thanking God is a good practice, less we think toomuch of ourselves, and make pride sit on the throne in our hearts, Its a humbling act to say "Thank You, Lord, its not me, but You in all."

I'm hoping MARCH to have a good start, middle and end, and so on with the rest of the year. GOD BLESS!!!

Phantom of the Nite

2006-01-10T01:19:00.000+08:00

Mysterious and unknown...it strikes like a phantom in the nite. A certain time, a certain season, a certain face. It dwells in the lurky shadows that none will expect it to arise. The sun brings not 'it's fear but instead a hidden self. A certain being is being hard to understand, a stumbling shock to those near 'it'. What is it that the form does not even know how 'it' existed. Was it mere adjustment or dawn of a new ? The smell of foulness overwhelms the beholder and will surely affect the rest beside 'it'. The reality of 'it' struggles to break through but time and time again 'it' fails and it brings along 'its' failure wherever it goes. What is 'it'?

Lurking or not....the phantom will not last. A bright light shines dimly in the further night. Its a call...not like any other... maybe it'll help. May fear turn to trust. May lostlessness be found...may all the uglyness become beautiful and may it wipe out all the darkness.

A Good Start

2006-01-01T09:13:00.000+08:00

"You're So Beautiful" by James BLunt plays onn....love this song. Its a much better song than what i sang in my last post. I was so encouraged when 'You' called. I didnt expect anybody to care what i wrote. I just wanted to express myself. But this morning i woke up and i hear a fren's voice and there 'Hey!' I find that a New Day has come and whatever happened yesterday or the days back were never gonna come back again. Its over and i shouldn't dwell in the past. There were some things that i 'missed' and i was missing it and i was sad because things were not as before. But thinking over what was running in my head... i know Today is a new day. And a NEW YEAR! So why should i torture myself with memories that won't repeat itself? Sad yesterday but Happy Today. Life is like that. Everyday is a new day!

Wake up in the New Morning and have a Good Start!

Take up the Bed Covers and Rise, smell the New Day. Smile and Thank the Lord for the Sun!

Beautiful People are everywhere!

love you all ....May... ---,<@

Blue Skies...Nothing but Blue Skies...

2005-12-31T00:40:00.000+08:00

I am trap in this world without hope.
Sometimes feeling as if i'm the one making things turn bad
I run away as there seems to be ... more than i could be expected of.
Silent and shy and i couldnt face the world on my own....
Will i ever perish. I checked the stars and they stood silent...
Not a word... nor an answer i seek...
How i wish i was the angels...floating in the skies... only one reason to live and only God to know all my hearts contents.

I trust that if i'm tested... i'll know the answers...........but.......but.....
Will the season come now? will the hope revive now? Where will the stars shine for me?
How far to the darkness will i see the morning Star... then will i find my way... to the deepest meaning of it all.

I sight a slightest glimpse of joy.... but i dare not peep in.
I long for a change but when change came i shield myself again.
What is this i am? What have i put thoughts in my head....
Will i be like the midst in the sky.... clouding my dreams and hiding my tears...
Where can i be.......where do i see.....

Tears will never end....laughter not so real.
Smiles do not come by chance.
I hear with deaf ears...my mind has kept me inside so long that i couldnt bear....
Love has got to do with it ......all.....
The story never ends... the leads will go on...

{ This isn't a poem....This is a song i sing....how poor is the state of my soul....)

Merry Christmas Everybody!!!

2005-12-24T17:12:00.000+08:00

Hello hai.... happy seasons here!!! i'm soooo glad its holiday and its sharing time =)
Love you all around the world! May every breeze and wind blows to show you love and may the sun shines to let you know of God's unchanging love.

I'm doing last minute wrappings...hoping that everyone gets a present... Christmas is gonna be great!!!

Heavy rain now...hope it doesnt dampen the Christmas spirit yeah? it isnt for me... smile and hugs....

love from Grace.

You will make it through~

2005-12-22T00:07:00.000+08:00

To my dear friends.... whose birthdays have just passed or coming round the corner... its gonna be another year older for you and Me, but like a Dear Friend said...its a year older and a year wiser...Let us never look back but mature to touch the skies!
WE sometimes fall and we sometimes hit the night but somehow a 'Light' will shine ahead of us and we will again touch the stars this time!

I was being grumpy, solemn and sulking over a special day that went uneventful, but it took me 2days to realize... everyday is a day of how'd you look at it. It can 'be' when you want it to 'be' and you can make a difference in it if you want it too... Not everyone is there to make your day....trying to make another persons' day is as much satisfying. This is a secret that humble and serving people keep in thier hearts...The joy of seeing someone smile is Priceless... The thrill in hearing laughter because of what you said is sustaining.... and the The thought of how God would want to show His love through you is fulfilled...is agreeing...so why not? Make someone's day everyday...and when come Christmas... everyone around you will be more blessed than ever with love and care and suprises.

Cheers always and HAPPY BIRTHDAY my friends!

Lonely Christmas...

2005-12-19T01:38:00.000+08:00

Will it ever come? Will Christmas come?
But if it comes...where wil i be? how will it be? Where is God?

You know, you dont have to be alone this Christmas. Catch it while its still in season. Cause it will come with Hope and Love. Christmas will never be the same again for you. You know u've been called many times to go to the place where they sing and dance and laugh and enjoy each other. They celebrate something more than Christmas lights and Santa Claus. Y dont you join them this year? because They have a message for you...and i cant tell you now... bcoz everything has its season and time. and unless you go for it, you'll never know what Special Gift they have for you at the door.

If it is time for you to open that 'wardrobe' and walk in, dont be afraid if u touch something cold and pricky... Christmas will have been already been there for you with a warm cup of 'coco'or milo. Smile and be ready... coz its not going to be a lonely Christmas...because when u believe...Christmas it will happen in your heart.

A Christmas party this 24th December awaits u and your family at

Hall 1, Grd Floor,Masyarakat Penyayang Complex, Penang.
9pm to 12am

Remember, smart casual with jeans and a bag ready for Gifts!!!

Special enquiries are met by Wai Kuan at 016-4335710 and the ever ready chat box on your right.
Hope to see you there!

My Birthday today!

2005-12-17T01:48:00.000+08:00

Its my birthday today! and i'm not ashame to tell everyone! Aih... Was God ashame when He created me? Nope! he was Proud of me! Coz He loved all his Creation! and He is still proud of me! and i'm so glad He has always been my Father, Provider, Shoulder to cry on, Ear to speak to and helping hand when i'm in my silent need.

Just to say this year was such a blessing to me... Blessings came over the short falls...and its because Of God Himself!
From high jumps to slow bumps... its nevr an adventure without God to lead the path. I mean really... if you do reflection on your days... yourealize...its the blessings,joy and happy things that ring more in your thoughts than horrible things. And you'd always wan to remember the good things. And i know... thats God special gift to us,,,, To remember the Good Things He has done for us. And occasionally, sometimes... we remember the old sad stories... but are they resolved yet? Hasn't it become the past? but why do we remember them? bcoz we want to make beter decisions than we did before and we want to make the future better than what was before rite? So isn't that something God has given us?Self-improvement. Something that God Himself does... "He looks at His Creation and said it was Good."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! hahaha...

Colours of Seoul City

2005-12-04T01:09:00.000+08:00

The ladies are from my mom's church.

~The Beautiful girl beside me is Judy a Korean who was our guide round Yoido bookstore and foreigner's briefing. It was a good toilet view from the church, to capture a picture of the church parking lot!Notice the river and the brigde...good view eh? hehe .

Next pic, the traffic here is well organised despite the high population of people and cars...notice the beautiful yellow 'Gingko' trees! Nex pic's background shows 3 churches with their crosses up on pinacles. When its nite time...you can see the town covered with red crosses, many small churches scattered all around like the Love of Christ!

If you had read my blog on 14th Nov, you'd know i went shopping. I fancy the hats and high socks! If i'd stayed in Seoul, i'd buy lots! =)

Yoido Full Gospel Church

2005-12-04T00:12:00.000+08:00

GReetinGs EarthLings! I'm Back smack(!) on the turtle island. Promised you i'll share with you my pictures and stories. The plane rides were not too nice long hours...but worth it for the Pictures yea?!
The Yoido Full Gospel Church was awesome! Together with mom and fren we had a nice Korean man to take this great pic for us. No cameras are allowed in the church. It is a strictly organised and respected place! Once a service is over the next group of people will be waiting to go in..5mins thats all it takes!...ushers are these good men in white.
It was mid-autumn, so i caught this 3 trees as evidence...one 'bald', one still bushy green and another turning yellow. i just love it!

Sec n third day in Korea

2005-11-14T23:55:00.000+08:00

13/11/05
0730 we left prayer mountain for Yoido Full Gospel Church, Seoul. We attended the second service..(approx.30,000 ppl) They have 7 services on sunday...with many overflow chapels....(aprox 121 chapels)worshipping together...along with life telecast worldwide...64,000 elders...and so on to what i recall at the foreigners briefing... they have a building -8 floors recently renovated to cater for sunday school only! AWESOME man~ They have fantastic worship..choirs and symphony ochestra with the huge pipe organs~!ahh but i couldnt get any pictures.. it is not respectful to do so. As soon as the service is over the nex group of people are seen waiting in rows to enter as soon as the people come out. Within 5mins the transition is over. The ushers, men in white coats and ladies in Korean traditional dresses usher the people in order and they bow as the people leave.

After service...we visited the bookstore, lots of souvenirs, all cramp in a small lot. Mom bought two pictures of Christ as the Shepherd and the Kingdom of HEaven..something like that...then we ate silk worms! it was tasty...and salty...however too much was yucky... it was said to be good for health. They sell it everywhere!

Nex we had Ginseng Chicken for lunch..it was good...boiling soup with chicken stuffed with rice and ginseng with noodles to go with..."Slurp!Slurp!Slurp! it was good for the cold weather. Freezing temperature rise to 10 C. We had good kimchi and rice wine...that almost knock me off. haha.... :)

WE head off the PheongYung Market and the DongdaeMun Market... we went on a shopping spree...expensive.. rates are like x4! but most stuff were for winter...not applicable for us...Lots of people and barang...Consider this... Whole Malaysia is approx 21 million... and Seoul itself the size of Singapore, has a population of 21 million! Alot of condominiums everywhere~ and bridges across the Han River...that divides the Seoul city to North and South. We tooks lotsa pics.. will post them nex time.

Nex stop was Namdaemun market for 1hour shopping. didnt buy anything. it caters for the local koreans. We then left for dinner- Korean BBQ dinner at Itaewon district which is where all the embassies are located and where all branded stuff are sold. High class district. BBQ was awesome! With hot charcoal to bbq, and delicoius kimchi, seaweed and korean starchy rice.

WE came back to Prayer mountain 930pm. tired and out.The way back, the city of Seoul was colourfully lighted and with red crosses identifying churches.In one area you can see 1-5 red crosses. it was awesome... the thought that Christ covers the city. man.... beautifull...

The bridges...Penang Bridge compared to them....no fight lah... the lighting here are fabulous. We slept at 12am.

14/11/05
Nex day 4am...we went for 5am prayer service. COLD!!!!! freezing to the bones~ the worship was full of OUMH! Koreans really pray out loud and call on the name of "Jee Ya!" @ Jesus three times before praying in tongues every now and then. The Koreans sleep in the sanctuary where there is a heated floorboard. They just wake up and worship God there. We joined in. The sanctuary is designed like Noah's Ark.

The canteen serves 3 types of food. 1. Rice (Chap fan) 2. Noodle soup and 3. Porridge with soup. Warms our stomach. we had our own service at 10am to 12pm. The weather was 15 C. Lunch was maggie in my cup and bread and bahu and sambai habi..brought from Penang... haha... and we dooze for the noon nap right to evening diiner at 6pm. 7pm was the evening service....was good... though no interpretation we enjoyed the worship...pray and sing in tongues as the Korean language sounded like it to us. it was beautiful. we stayed on to pray after service..till the Koreans snuggle in their sleeping bags.

Back to our room at 1030pm....supper and out again to the Grottoes. Cubicles dug out in a hill just enough for one person to pray inside. It is very private and full of anointing! They have new ones fitted with heaters and bigger for family too. We finished our prayer at 1am... the temp. was 3 C!

Ok goodnite... this post was co-editted by my mom and i. hehe...

I'm finally heRE!!!!!

2005-11-12T21:47:00.000+08:00

YUpps... finally i reached KOREA!!! its been awesome,... the fresh cool air...it took us like say 14 hours plus transit time to reach here. we had breakfast,lunch and dinner on air...with the thai airlines..pretty cool flight crew and splendid food! haha.... cramp sits though... but towards the end manage to catch War of the Worlds on the network tv on flight. hehehe..creppy...

the travelling was one thing...but tomorrow.. we visit the Yoido Chrurch pastored by Ps. ChoYonggi...one of the biggest church in Seoul,Korea. Anyways..i'm stayingat thiss place at Prayer Mountain called the House of Love. Next tous is the Prayer hall thats shaped like an Ark,.. noahs'ark? hehe

anyways...i thought there will be no internet connection here... but i'm glad i can have time to blog...before the others use the comp... only two computers here. I cant upload the pics now.. coz i haven takenmuch pics yet...but as soon as i'm back k!

and yes daddy...if you read this....we are safely here in Korea...~~~!!!its 10cc in Seoul town... and 8cc on the prayer mountain. the weather as the guide says... will drop to -2 to -10 cc in the mornings and evenings. Itsnot snowing here :( and the leaves are just beginning to fall... so we are intime for fall and not winter yet.

tomorrow...i'llcheckif i canhave time to post somethinginteresting k...i pray that God will be speaking to me and not my wretched mind thinking rubbish all the time like always... hehe...good nite...timehere is one hour faster.

I'm going...

2005-11-05T20:13:00.000+08:00

Yes..I'm going somewhere and i wont be back. No i wont be back... coz its far and i cant be reached. I wont be taking my baby apple. I wont be connceted. Its the best... Its the right thing to do. i cant possibly add more weight on my back and miss having fun...the mp3 sings... " There wont be white flag above my window..." I won' t be in from 12-19nov.

Surrendering time and skipping away i will... the plane flies high above the clouds where possiblities becomes my dream. In search of treasures that prayers can only find. Skirts and blouses, trinkets and bangles...shine and dazzle not for me but for the one i pray for. Tales i will come back with...Pictures will share my journey.

A tale was told everynight where a father carries his child fast alseep onto a comfortable bed. Let those tears dry, let those fears be forgotten coz the father's arms holds him dearly. Though the child knows he is being carried, yet he couldnt' open his eyes. Tired and exhausted, he knows in his father's arms, he is safe. I love you dad ---<@

Things that happen to us...

2005-10-31T00:49:00.000+08:00

Never once were they intended to be wasted. I was reminded today... that experiences make a person. The Astro Chinese International Pageant which was live on astro last friday...popped this question to five finalist. " In making a difficult decision, which would you base your final decisions on? Experience or Talent?" Many of the beauty queens made Experience their choice. I do agree with most of them. The answer doesn't weights more on either side but it bases on your reasoning i suppose. I think experience builds the character of the person. I believe much that who you are and how you make decisions are mostly made through the journeys we each go through. But of course you can argue with that. Your talents, meaning what you are good at.... doesn't always mean the situation actually needs it. So how do we conclude?

Amazing Love Anew

2005-10-25T22:42:00.000+08:00

Amazing Love.....How can it Be....
Amazing Love....I know its True...
Its my Joy to Honour You..
Amazing Love.... How can it be
That you, my King would Die for me...

Holy Spirit rain down...
Rain Down.....

Let your Power fall, let Your Voice be heard
Come and change our hearts as we stand on your Words..
Holy Spirit rain down.....

Lord, be my strength... Let it be that my heart be Yours to rule
Let it be that the passion not die...but forever on flames for You.
Lord...let tiredness and unsubmissiveness be drown in Love Anew
For in You no amount of it shall prevail!

Visual Pattern Fluid Intelligence Test Results

2005-10-18T00:48:00.000+08:00

This is suppose to be another test i took. how true is this online tests??? or are they just fakes?

Sir Francis Galton, the cousin of Charles Darwin, first popularized the notion of measurable intelligence in the late 1800s. Charles Spearman later discovered that all mental abilities tend to correlate together when statistically analyzed. He called this G. Modern researchers tend to agree that there are two kinds of intelligence, crystallized intelligence (learned knowledge) and fluid intelligence (abstract processing ability). Most non-verbal intelligence tests measure the latter. Some research suggests that fluid intelligence may correlate best to G.

Your overall percentile is 10% which means you scored higher than 10% of the people who have taken this test. The internet population tends to be more intelligent so your percentile might be higher if the test taking sample was perfectly random. Keep in mind, taking this test more than once will render your percentile score inaccurate because the percentile score assumes these questions were fresh to the test taker.

The point of this test is to challenge you and show you how you compare to other test takers on a set of novel questions. Consequently, I need to keep the answers secret to protect the integrity of the test.

2005-10-18T00:18:00.000+08:00

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Religious	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Hedonism	\|\|	10%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Conflict seeking	\|\|	10%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

trait snapshot:

messy, tough, disorganized, fearless, not rule conscious, likes the unknown, rarely worries, rash, attracted to the counter culture, rarely irritated, positive, resilient, abstract, not a perfectionist, risk taker, strange, weird, self reliant, leisurely, dangerous, anti-authority, trusting, optimistic, positive, thrill seeker, likes bizarre things, sarcastic

Well you can give this test a shot... and sometimes... it may be true what they define you to be... at least i can connect with some of the trait snapshots...

Someone Who Believes in You!

2005-10-13T22:25:00.000+08:00

I had a 'self-horrid' day to say the least. I shocked myself when at one point close to closing time, three customers came to open six accounts!My bad... i was not prepared for such overwhelming request. I took it all to myself and did not ask for help till i panicked and caused such an outburst of anger and frustration from within. Then it was feelings of embarassment and reluctantness to accept rebuke. I confess i was a fool!

A situation like this makes me think. I need to be able to handle it the nex time. The Lord has always brought me through different experiences to shape me and teach me. Sometimes the experiences repeats itself because i had not learn. I drove home, and thoughts begin to make some sense. I wonder to myself, will anyone hide herself into a world of fairies to forget the mundane life of reality itself? Only 'nuts' do that? I think i may not be the only one. We go into our own 'dream worlds' when nobody in reality really understands us. We need someone to understand us, much more someone to believe in us.

I review that i was always my best when Someone believed in me. I could try and try harder to achieve it because that someone has given me hope. Hope to believe that i could do it, not alone but with the faith that that someone has placed in me. We call that Someone a Friend, Buddy and Pal. We get on with our lives because we know that that Someone is with us going through sometimes the same thing. We go by thinking of that Someone, because we in turn want to give back hope and faith to him. Then sometimes, that Someone will also dream with you, and be the first to show you how to achieve it. He plans with you, gives you advice and says the very least..."You can do it!"

REaching the stars becomes less unbearable and life becomes more colourful than the rainbow after a rainy sunny day. We take each others hearts and tell it to the stars...that we shouldn't be afraid of the dark....but because the new day will soon come. We give each other hope. and Best yet... God gives us hope. Hold His hand and sometimes...He puts another hand into yours...thats when its your turn to "Believe in that someone, just like Someone had believed in you."

BOulalala.....haven been caught dead ever!

2005-10-03T23:15:00.000+08:00

Gosh!...guess what happen to me? I got the most cheap offer i couldnt resist while shopping for a fren's birthday present...70% for all clothes ranging from RM79.90 to RM33. so have you taken your calculator out yet? Shopping freaks... its an excellent offer rite? Omigosh.... i almost made myself a "dodo" in front of the sales promoter, i kept asking her if the prizes were already discounted... and she told me YES! YES! YES!...three times!.... and i apologized for i never ever stumbled upon such a good offer as this....besides, i fit in most of the clothes i tried on, and thus far couldnt but bought all 8pieces! but to think it as a blessing or temptation? I prayed for a good offer and price for a girlfrens' pressie and i got more than it! Smack in the face! offers good and decisions made. I couldnt draw a line between a wise choice or a careless fall to temptation but all i know is... i gotta spend wisely from now on.... "sucks my thumb..." and mind u it wasn't a bad word i'm saying here.... i'm really sucking my poor thumb... i injured my poor accident prone thumb again... and it was all because of a stapler...tried to pull d stapler out of the paper and hurt my nail... so its got internal bleedding quite a bit...a black spot in the middle... and my thumb is sore again...

But a sore thumb reminds me of God's presence when i hurt my thumb back in May by the car door... i miss Him lots! It was one of the most 'strainess pain enduring period of my time'. Man... it was all God's timing and training...i mean it... i never regretted one bit of the dumb incident of me putting my thumb where the door slams... it is impossible to forget...because many things followed after that and i miss all that. What is it?... My frens...my dear frens... i got closed to many but it was always soon for goodbyes...but i hope we never loose touch and so be it with our passion for Christ! (tsk....you know who you are) and of course there;s my ever caring housemates... that i absolutely miss very much too... miss all the fun at 'our' home.. and really thank you all for the care you gave me...I miss ya all!

Okok dears... i gotta go packing into bed... its unwise to sleept late and all the unwanted gems starts to pop up...hehe until then....A nites rest is a nites dream...will share with you about last sundays' message of "I have a dream!"

I want more than ROSES!

2005-09-30T00:08:00.000+08:00

Days a bland.... we Can become negative and sour. But its a choice to change that mood of yours!Thats why i wanted more than Roses could give me....love...fragrance...sweetness...beauty and gentleness.I decided that i should do something with my 'bland' day. So i remembered a clip of "Patch Adams" playing on StarWorld Tv while at lunch... I decided to dish out my "Patch Adams vcd" from the loot of vcds under the Tv...search all till the last album. I had decided that i'l need something to influence me positively. And it certainly did.

The movie had many a values that serves true. We gotta improve the way of Life...or our Health... and Patch...as i checked out his website at "Patch Adams"... speaks of a real man with a real ball of passion and flame.I mean truly...People is what that matters than machine or system or rule! People are important. God loves people. WE are the same, just different in our experiences and surroundings. I liked one part of the movie where he said..." All those people who are patients are doctors too. Each of them take part in taking care of another person. A doctor takes care, treats, listens to someone in need." And thats exactly what we all could do! Man...dont you think we can improve the quality of Life by just making someone else happy? How does "excessive happiness" sound to you?

I'm reminded too that we are human beings, we go through a course of ups and downs,no denial of it. I remember that in those times of downs, i ask for a special grace from God so that i can smile for the whole day. And i know God's grace and love shined through me=). Give thanks and make a merry, cause no one really hates happiness long enough not to be infected by your smile and kindness. If you think u have not enough to share your love around, be like me,ask from God a little love and be of little faith.

I love roses. What bout you? :)

The ugly side of human nature...

2005-09-26T23:37:00.000+08:00

Its been Just two days and the weekend is over~! Boy i miss my days as a student...days seem to pass on slower and more meaningful then.

In my mind, the human nature produces so many questions and yet so little answers. Today, i witness my very own human kind showing more of the unexplanainable nature. "Why does man get angry?" A man shouts at a woman for her carelessness, yet the woman wishes what she heard to be less authoritative and more kind. She retaliates and turns her head away, scuffing...pouting and whispers her dissatisfaction under her breath, but loud enough for the man to listen. The man again...being the authoritative one, demands his views to be Correct and mentions her carelessness once and twice and thrice again, caring less of the woman's feelings and the people who were staring at them then. Whose fault was it?
Was it the man who did not care about manners? Or was it the woman who could not take a critism lightly? Was it the people staring that caused the situation to grow hotter? Or was the response by the man and woman that gave a sharp pinch that both could not accept it?

The situation could have been better dont ya think? Why cant the man tell the woman her carelessness nicely and not raise his voice? A harsh comment exchanges for another not the other way around! What you do to other people is what you'll get back! Its a basic theory that everyone knows! But we see that happening too very often. How sad. =( I as witness...feel so much for both of them as they have invisibly taken a sharp blade and had started to stab at each other unknowingly. The wounds gets bigger as each stab takes place. When people talk about 'internal bleeding', i tell you whats worst than that.... its the 'Soul bleeding'. You cant see it but it keeps bleeding. You loose more of yourself as you choose to throw negative words at people.You cant see through medical lenses... but you can feel it. I'm sure i'm not mentioning something that is alien to anyone. Its something we all go through all the time, dont we?

But how now? Will we die? Does it kill like the physical illness of cancer and aids? I tell you it kills you softly and slowly, till you no longer have the strength to live. ITs a struggle. It haunts the mind...hurts the heart and kills the soul.
Wow.... such horrible truths... but you know.... other than the man and woman.... other people get hurt too. The witnesses will have an impact from that incident. It could bring out the positive or the negative. A witness could say, "There there...told you how careless woman can be, the man is right!" and another witness can depict it as "There is so much miscommunication between them, they do not realize what shame they bring themselves." and another invisible witness could say, " I told you they weren't gonna be good to each other... its a victory that the situation has grown hotter! MuaHaaHaaaa!!!" .......now who could that mad witness be???

Dear God, I understand that i do not have the ability to control or understand the very nature of the human being. But i pray for this couple that You will see them through each day with your grace, love and trust. I pray, that you open their spiritual eyes and ears to see what hurt they have caused each other.I pray that the victory belongs to YOU LORD! and never the devil! i pray that those words of hatred and unkind be changed into words of Forgiveness and Love. I pray that both man and woman will understand the meaning of listening and thinking before speaking. I pray that one day they will speak less horrible words against each other and refuse to take offense of the other. This is prayed as witnesses do get affected and i pray that netiher anyone of those affected will practice the same. In Your Name Jesus, Amen!

Practical living

2005-09-22T19:14:00.000+08:00

How when u have a routine lifestyle, yet wanting more than the ordinary, decide to do the opposite of the norm? Practically called to work the land, expecting more as the end of the month arrives, will the harvest be bountiful? Will you actually reap the best? or suffer the failures? Consider it 50-50. You cant determine your future 100%, but you can prepare for it. The results of hard work may never be as satisfying as you want it to be. To accept the things affected is a way to be humble? Or to take courage to fight the obvious truth? What am i talking about????

Its been 3weeks since i started work. I have never thought it will get better. But i still do pray for a good day everyday. and you know what... God listens... and makes me smile =) I face a mixture of nice, smiley, considerate, irritating, bossy, arrogant, smelly, blur, people who think they are filty rich, people who love their parents, people who decide for their children's wealth, people who hate patience, people who are patient, people who speak unknown language, people who are forgiving, people who are not forgiving, people who love to complain, people who share their difficulties, people who share thier experiences, people who were your friends sometime before, people who direct you, people who notice you, people who care to listen to your blurness, people whom you only know by their voice but never seen.... and lots more.

But how can i improve? How can i be more efficient today than yesterday? how can i be more effective to answer the various questions? How can i learn more? How can i not be ignorant or act ignorant? How can i have more friends? how can i offer more than my job requires??? how can i be on the cutting edge? how can i learn all i can that enables me to have some skills that others may not have? how can i improve on my productivity? last but never the least.... how can i improve in my mind and spirit?

I'm putting my dreams aside....probably this moment now is to train me for something greater and bigger? but another side wonders.... you know what if i put my dreams first... i may be very successful... but how will i start? a sacrifice? or obedience?

Anyways... today i thank God that i could get home earlier, with all work done. Today i also thank God that i could have lunch with my dad. I thank God that after the rain the sun came up again. I thank God, that smiles take away people's hurt, fear, doubt, anger, and distrust sometimes.I thank God tomorrow is Friday, and the week is ending quickly. I thank God that there is tomorrow....

Blogging a promise

2005-09-13T23:25:00.000+08:00

hey...i'm pretty alive. Sorrry that my one week's absence turned out far too long. I had reported to work on 1st Sept in a local bank. Taking the post of Customer Service Representative. I practically had to learn from scratch on the various products the bank offers and i had to be the one at the front desk where customers tend to Ask and Ask and Ask! hahah....so thats why i had not been blogging. I wanted to catch up on my sleep and rest and do other things than sit in front of the comp. I needed the time to adjust to my new life style...but not in a way to forget what i used to do....:) i suppose u understand...i do miss putting up my entries here. I wish i have a job which is less time consuming and more flexibility for creativity. So i'm trying to fill my mind with things more innovative and edifying than sitting in front of the television. I praise God for really... it must be Him who gave me wisdom to think...to learn...to adjust and to change. Truly what they say is true..."What u have is what God has given you, What you are is what you can give back to God..."

I made a "promise" to post my pics... here are some of the pics i took at graduation and at the town of Colmar...a much french inspired village that i went to on the hills of Bukit Tinggi, Malaysia. The above pic is my doggy given by an aunty as a graduation present... aint he cute? Enjoy the rest... =)

My scroll awarded to me by the former Prime Minister Dr.Mahatir.

Dad and Mom together with me at the convocation. I miss Tommy!!! (p's: lets promise to be at each other's graduation nex time?)

My final year project mates, Anu and Siew Shan with our finance lecturers, Mr. Val and David. *phew..we almost thought we'd failed our finance papers...hehe...Praise GOD!

My dear roomates when we were staying at Section 17,PJ....May and Jacklyn..Love u galz~!

My housemates...Eason and David....we miss Ben..because he was in the afternoon session so couldnt manage a group photo. We had a couple of fun in the last 5months at Sg.Long...playing computer games, eating our hearts out at the "Chap Fan stall" after class,sometimes we cook and talking all nite and studying all nite...hehe... it was fun...Miss u guys too!

My dearest roomate at Sg.Long. She is sweet, tall and gentle....her mom gave us all a treat when she came to stay for a week. She gave us home cooked food! haha...yeah what to do... our sg.long home seemed deserted from all kinds of pamperment...hehehe...

The Penang girls! haha... we were in the same class back in college in Penang.Ther's Amelia, LeeFung and Aikim.

Notice the twin towers at the background? I edited the pic a lil brighter or u wont see my face. =)

Off with the robe and smarter with the coat...:)

Arriving at Colmar...ish the Malaysian flag gave away where i was.... looks like i'm out of the country eh? definately untrue!

The Beautiful Swans.

These are just some...of the many photos. To view my album, attach email add at comment and i'll send u an invite. =)

A week absence?

2005-08-22T03:31:00.000+08:00

Hi all. I will be having a hectic week ahead. I doubt
i will have time to blog and further more, i wont be
taking my ibook along. just to fill you in on whats
keeping me... i will be heading down KL today, later
,and attending a seminar by Bill Wilson, founder and
director of Metro Inner City Children's Campaign. I
hope it will open my mind to what God is doing in
children all across the world with servants like him.
I have signed up for children ministry in my home
church.

On Thursday, the team i am going with will head back
to Pg and i will stay back in KL. What do i do? i wish
to visit somme frens and lecturer and most important,
collect my graduation gown! hooray!
YES i am graduating this coming Sunday at MCA hall. It
will be great to meet all my frens again and take lots
of pictures. I miss everyone!

oh yes, and of course, there is the planet shakers
nite this friday. i hope i am not to miss it.

After which i will be moving all my things from Abby's
house (room) which i left there to bring back to Pg. I
have decided to settle in Pg, not a very favourable
decision, but it was to be for the better. :)

Afterwards, my gracoius loving dad has decided that we
visit this Colmar Bukit Tinggi. Hmmmi saw somme
pictures and they sure look beautiful! hehe... all in
all.... i pray for a good camera to take all my pics,
and enough storage space for all occasions! i trust u
will be missing me throughout this week hor?
hehe... leave me notes,hugs and kisses and tag me
anytime... i will be back!

Just another passing day?

2005-08-20T00:36:00.000+08:00

I have been without a thought, missing someone and felt ii have missed out something in my life. Why did i let go? Why wasn't I determine? Why couldn't i just be loyal and be such a fool to this day? How can i face Him? Will I be forgiven? Have i the right to be forgiven? I am 'always' afraid of my repetitous habits. I dont want to say I'm sorry and soon find out i have done it again. I feel embarassed, yet so ignorant. Now i am ashamed. Where are my guts? How can i forgive myself and begin to treasure this relationship? Is forgiveness enough? Have i earned His trust? Will He be able to trust me again? Will i fail Him again? That is my greatest fear...........................

Dear God, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, for it is You that I miss.

Wacky Red and Silly Green.....

2005-08-16T00:39:00.000+08:00

Dear readers,

You are about to enter into my mind now ....imagine You are in a hot environment, horrible pressure in the room, the air is getting thinner, you feel as though a screw driver is digging into the side of your head, grinding disturbing noise, Sharp Intense Pain! ArgGH@#! "Whats wrong with me???!"

.................................suspense.................................

ok alrite.....i'm no JK Rowlings or CS.Lewis...so dont start comparing me with them! haha...the capacity of words do not overwhelm me like their's do.....However, these are some words I wish to describe my condition. Take a look at this pathetically amusing critter picture ABOVE.... I do not presume myself looking like that... but it sure gives u a way to have creative imaginary thinking. Dont ya think? Actually its very funny...Lolz...found it while browsing.

For your information, I am not suffering from any Mental Depression. I have no desire to kill myself. I am NOT SUICIDAL! So what am i talking about?.....My eyes are seriously red from wearing my contacts too long. i tried taking a picture of it to post it here but nothing beats this pathetic critter's red eyes...lolz...and it sure does look pathetic....so well... let me continue...

I'm writing this in a room so very HOT! It rained, but the earth has swallowed it all, and the weather still heats up. Pressure in the room....imagine pressure cooker, and it begins to sizzle and whistle and drops of water rolls down the lid of the cooker...so it is with me with drops of sweat. The air is getting thinner....why the HAZE of course@! Where oh where is the clean fresh air???

Next, the screw driver? haha.. its the splitting headache i'm getting now for the late nites i've been staying up. Ever tried staying up too many nights till you want to vomit? yeah...i did before but the headache comes as first warning. Heed it or fail having a good meal. The pain stings like a bee on one side of my head. I get grumpy and irritated easily..."hey kiddo"...why like that??? "I cant help it"...try I will...

Grinding disturbing noise? well not exactly grinding....recognise the sound of plastic being blown at? by wind or the fan? it makes the "shah shah" sound..and sometimes....its irritating...u may not agree....some may vent about the "Ticking sounds of the clock."- well not if u dont wind the Clock~Duh...... hehe

The intense pain............sharp................."Oh, darn the mosquitoes! hahha... its getting me itchy all over!

so whatcha think of my descriptive venting?
haha....Roll your eyes and comment all you want! its another late nite but i'm ready for you! hehe

HAze is HERE!!!

2005-08-13T13:35:00.000+08:00

Omigosh! I woke up 6am and the haze has already ARRIVED! arghhhhh~~~~ not nice man... it smells like somethings burning. And yes thats a picture taken outside my house. You know...it seems to give me the creepy feeling...i hope the Haze leaves us soon, now i can imagine how the situation is like in KL few days ago. I wonder....where does all the haze go to in the end? Do they drown in the rain?...if there is rain lah...A little advise... get a mask and take care of yourself.

I hope that on my convocation...they wont have to cancel it because of the haze.... i mean... hopefully the situation doesnt worsen. God Bless Malaysia!

2005-08-10T15:42:00.000+08:00

Your Superhero Persona by couplandesque
Your Name
Superhero Name	Caffeine Boy
Super Power	Severe Mood Swings
Enemy	Clear Channel
Mode Of Transportation	Motorcycle
Weapon	A Stapler

Quiz created with MemeGen!

What in the world is this? Haha...i could use a stapler ...Again got this site from Mun_z.

2005-08-10T15:13:00.001+08:00

If u have a secret...post it...

A BOWL OF CHERRIES

2005-08-09T12:17:00.000+08:00

Hi Wonderful people!

I have decided to change into a new look... well of course the blog only lah~ i havent done any plastic surgery k... and nope i havent changed my hairstyle...hmm...'that' i am still thinking of whether to cut my hair after or before my graduation....hmm...comments? haha...

Ahh well... i love your feedback on my new look~ Pls feel free to leave comments! i Will do my best to improve further... now with all the time i have to go online and all..shh.... *whines*...I dont want to go to work....

Yeah about my latest update on getting a job... i have been called for yet another interview this afternoon...Accounts assistant? i dont think i am cut out for this.... Lord,... just let me through this interview...for better or for worse...you know i would prefer to other things.... Oh well.. Inspirations come from God and His plans are always better than mine...^SALUTE!>

Gazzing at the wonderful pictures...

2005-08-04T11:57:00.000+08:00

I'm far better now. Still coughing out green phlegm. Had been browsing since yesterday on other awesome blogs. Currently stuck with Bridget's and really want to say there are really good inspirations going on everywhere, just dont sit at home and grumble about how life sucks. sorry for the harsh words. take the time to stroll in a park or walk at the beach. Relax... God is in control. Who is in a better position to inspire our creativity? than the awesome Work of God in you...me...and everyone you meet and everywhere you go. Love awaits you.

These are some pictures taken in my Sabah,Pitas mission trip this June.
Love it...Love it!

The above pic shows a white church building atop a small hill overlooking the beautiful greens. The villagers pull some money together to build it. I really love it. This is one village we had to drive deep through bumpy terrains to reach them. On the left, is where the 'kampung' they stay in. It hadn't rain for a few days/months, the square container is where they store their water.

Some of us resting before the night service. From left, there is Sam,Amanda and Michel. I miss you guys!
Below, is the place we stayed at the most. Its in the middle of a paddy field. They quote it the "Thousand Stars Hotel!" Lolz...bcoz we have to bath under the stars with no walls around us! yupps... it was fun...wanna know how we did it?.... haha.... not telling..... =P

Samuel, Jeff, Roque and I having a fun time with the children at one of the village...also there was Amanda who taught on the story of David and Goliath, but she ain't in the picture. There was one point the kids started to sing this song," Ya, Bapa, ini aku anakMu, pakailah sesuai dengan rencanaMu..." in the middle of playtime. It means, " Dear Father, this is I, Your child, help me to walk in Your ways." Roque had it recorded in his digicam. Awesome...we were startled and more blessed than ever.

Some more pics of the kids from Kampung Pitas, who were so quick to learn the games the guys taught them and were very cheerful. Some of these girls were caught singing Britney Spears under the house at the paddy fields...haha... and u thought these kids live on trees! The local language they speak here is Rungus. Something similar to Malay.
The next pic from Kampung Narandang, where i gave a testimony of my injured thumb...hehe...There's Power in JEsus NAME!
And these kids got stuck with me throughout the service! haha...they were so cute. they kept bringing in little flowers from outside. Roque gave a good message that nite and God moved tremendously! Praise the Lord!

The pastoral team that lead us. Pastor Jik Tai, Pastor Thomas (my bro) and Pastor Peridol and family. Without them, we will be lost ! haha....yeah... they brought us and were with us throughout our experience in Sabah. Thank you Oh so much!!!

Team Photo!!! Only naming the team from left ; Sidney, Jeff, Thomas, Michel, Roque, Amanda, Me, Florence, Sam and Samuel.

Operation Clean Room

2005-08-01T23:16:00.000+08:00

Yo! wats up?
well haha....i finally got the chance to paint my room! now its pastel green...more of natural i think....i almost wanted yellow...but somehow... i think its fine now...took me two whole days to complete painting, with a fren's help and also dad's. i manage to rearrange my furniture in my room...and the nex thing to do is to get a set of curtains, and somegood lighting for my table. =) I never really thank God for this special treat..but here... Thank You Lord,for helping me achieve something i really wanted to do.=) Operation cleaning my room will have to continue, still got lotsa boxes i need to go through..."to throw?" or "to keep?" Tell me, how do u actually preserve old memories but still want to keep clean and not store clutter? haha... its always mom and dad saying that i store the most rubbish. Anyways...i am trying to live up to the, " Throw what u dont use" advise..... Lord...help me with all this things....and best yet...to be able to part with most of it.

Since the day i started painting my room on Sat. A soar spell struck me. Now i am down with a bad cough and nocturnal nites. Serious! i woke up in the middle of the nite coz i had nose block! not being able to sleep becoz u cant breath is disturbing ya know! so anyways me and mom saw the doctor today and we have different prescriptions. Mom had been having cronic coughing for the past week and i guess the germs got into me. So anyways... we'll be better. In Jesus Name!

Thomas my bro wrote us an email. Now settling in Ohio. I hope he gets to adapt to a new environment. mostly country side, farming and a small community church. do visit his website in thomasleong.blogspot.com. i still dont know how to put link of my frens' and bro's blog on the left hand corner, so forgive me ya=) if anybody wants to help me, pls do let me know how...

This friday, my home church is having a 70's and 80's evening. The event is in conjunction with the church's 40th anniversary. So everyone is suppose to dress up like in the 70's and 80's era and there will be a food fair with the prices set to the good old days!.. haha... anyone interested? only valid for the time of 7-8pm! imagine having a bowl of "Hokkien Mee" for 20cents! haha... awesome! this only happens in Penang! Food...Food... Glorious food! [ hmm....i hope i'm better by then..=)]

Ok check out this weird weirdiieesss....i got it at munz...

face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" style='color:black; font-size: 14pt;'>You Are 60% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?
But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

disgusting weird pic...and that is not me!

You Are 18 Years Old

18

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

gosh i'm still thinking 18???

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.

You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations.

You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.

Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

How Do You Live Your Life?

sounds likely true...other opinions?

Putting thoughts to work....

2005-07-25T11:34:00.000+08:00

Today, I went to help paint some chairs at church. Well...u could have think what is a graduate doing painting chairs like an odd-job worker...well trust me i thought of that! haha.... odd jobs? why not! well at least at the end of the day... u have tried a few jobs and then u'll know what u really am interested to do eventually...hmm...maybe thats not exactly true......

Putting thoughts to work...i was reading a magazine about missionaries from Malaysia in countries in Nepal, Cambodia and Mongolia. its kinda encouraging to hear their thoughts and experiences. i find that these people are called by God to reach out to people beyond their world...sometimes its difficult but they just obey and follow. i'm thinking, when is my turn? hah!
I believe God puts us to training. He puts us in difficult, painful, and lonely situatons. why? why the training? Is God unfair? Is God playing with us? Like when He dislikes us He puts us in these situations to laugh at us when we cry? Oh...common...what are u thinking? Is God like that? or are we just narrowing our ideas and perceptions of God?

He trains me, so that i dont cry when i see uglier situations...He wants me to be ready... and who knows what may come. He doesnt actually leaves me alone to solve the problems, He guides me and tells me where i go wrong. He sometimes lets me do what i want eventhough i may not be right, just so that i learn i am not always right. He gives me bosses and authority over me, so that i can learn to listen, to respect, learn by imitating sometimes, learn by doing...and etc. Most importantly, learn to ask God for help...which is Depending on Him.=)

I thought of what i wanted to do... paint my room, get rid of all the unnecessary rubbish in my room, start making things using recycling material, make space for space...make myself expose to all things arty and not stop thinking what i am interested in. Do i really need a job just for the sake of getting an income ? even though i dont like it? or would i rather spend my time doing something that i like and enjoy eventhough i may or may not get a salary? i like option 2, but do i have te choice? hmmm...putting my thoughts to work may seem dreammy....but i was challenge to dream and to tell people my dream so that it'll come through. I hve yet to master that. Telling people what i want to do is hard. I have a problem doing that. Its a problem of whther they will understand me,its a problem of believing in your dreams and telling people that u do with enthusiasm. I wish i could learn to do something artistic with a good master. how artistic am i? i'm not too much...but i want to be.

Dreams aside....i managed to have an evening walk with my mom at Bukit Dumbar this evening. walk walk walk... talk talk talk... out of a sudden, i suggested to sit at a swing which was usually occupied by someone at any other time. but that time it wasn't! What good news....so we went and was about to sit down when mom saw a Wallet....Her eyes got the cuckoo bird look, a little shock and didnt know what to do.we didnt know whose it was. so we sat there...and i was just looking...for the man who left his wallet. Later a man arrived and claimed his belonging, offering to spend us for the safe kept of his wallet, but of course we decline. Later, Mom was saying, 'We shouldnt have decided to sit on the swing~!' Dear mommy...it must have been the Holy Spirit initiating us to sit there today so that this man can have his wallet back! i mean...if it weren't us,it could have been someone else who might ripped off the man's money~. so Praise the LORD! He saved the day =)

P/s : Tomorrow is my mom's birthday...planning to get her a cake =)

On the Field No More~!

2005-07-20T15:39:00.000+08:00

Guys, how have u been?
Made any new amendments to your lifetime goals? Have u pondered why u are doing what u are doing?
These questions came into my mind these few days.

Last week as some of u might know...i started training with a very talented bunch of people in a budding marketing firm. It was a challege rite from the beginning. Remember i told u i went for a 'field evaluation'? well...what i didnt expect is to expect that into my common work description for a couple of months! and not days! Yes.. it includes working long full hours of what turned out to be from 11am to 11pm. I tried it out for a week and i got a very bad response from my family and also myself. What are the feedbacks?
1. My work required me to go house-to-house sales, i got darker.
2. I have no basic salary and entirely based on commission. Although it is high but whats the use if u cant getanyone to sign?
3. I still do house to house in the nite till 930pm, which is dangerous.
4. My parents miss my face. They go to work at 8am and i sleep till 10am...get back when they wanto sleep at 11pm.
5. AM i willing to give up my current relationships with ppl to full-time working for a future yet unknown?

What i learned the last full week.
1. Trust in The Lord always... u can never trust anyone else with your life!
2. Making available time for the Lord is rewarding!.... so much more satisfying !
3. Being able to say 'No'to the things we think we understand and putting our dependance on God.
4. Openned my mind towards what ppl would do to get you out of the house.
5. Being a Christian first before anything else!
6. Getting to know some beautiful areas in Penang where beautiful needy ppl stay. When i say needy means, they need the Lord! I'm talking about places where some community are so nice and yet some are soo terrified and rude.
7. Getting a 'No' in front of your face is actually an opportunity for u to get a 'Yes' in the future.
8. Making connection with people. Especially with the people u work with and the people you meet for a moment.
9. Drawing knowledge from some ppl but grasping the wisdom from God to make wise decisions.
10. Expressing myself to the Father, by not stopping to pray.
11. Asking the Lord for strength when i couldnt anymore.
12. Relief when i made a decision based on the Word of God.
13. Recognizing i need a spiritual family and relationship more than wealth
14. Acknowledgingthe fact that i want to be a Kingdom Builder than a Wealth Maker!

and many more.......i'mstill learning....
and yes i finalyy decided to quit the training yesterday and spend the day gardening with my mom and gma. it was rewarding. then iwent to Bible Study with my mom.
The topic was HUMILITY!

Proverbs 22:4 - True Humilty and Fear of the Lord lead to riches , honor and long life.

So what ami worried about? i dont need money to be happy. i dont think wealth satisfies me~ i just want to do something i enjoy and pleases God.

1Tim 4:8
Physicial training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come!

See what God says? 1 Tim 4:12 - Dont let anyone think less of you bcoz u are young. be an example to all beleievers in what you say, live ,love, fatih and purity.
I may give up an opportunity of pursuing wealth but i belief my rewards are better than money itself. coz Money is the root of evil. (1 Tim 6 :10) and Your trust should be in the Lord, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment! (1Tim 6: 17)

I rest my case... you can never fight the Bible, The Word of God.
I Put my hopein Him always.

A day at a time�K

2005-07-11T00:24:00.000+08:00

The previous week was tiring, challenging, surprising, mixed of emotions and to sum it all, its been Bizarre! I wish I had more time to reflect back my week. So here I am writing to tell you�K One day at a time�K

Sometimes when we rush through things�K with so little time to reflect back,it really saps your spirit out. This was what happened to me. I got through to 2nd interview that required house-to-house salesmanship thingi and it was by God��s grace I completed the ��field evaluation�� with quite high colors. All thanks to the Lord��s training in all those camps and mission trips I��ve been. I thankthe Lord that He was my personal trainerJ

Final interview was just relaxed and free. I got selected for 2weeks advance training before they will decide to fully employ me. For your info, it��s a marketing firm and after the final interview, I had been feeling soar and sad.Why? Well I still haven found out y.It was by God��s grace that I managed to be selected as the final few but my feelings were getting harsh on me. I needed to be comforted. i was sad and quiet.

A final answer to my prayer came when a fren invited my family over to his grandmother��s place in Pengkalan hulu, Perak. It was a blessing in disguise for all of us. I may not know exactly what others had been feeling that week but this little retreat really brought us out for a fun filled weekend. We had durians for lunch and dinner and free flow of rambutans and langsat. It was a fruit haven!!! My family and I and a close fren even drove over to Betong, Thailand for a makan-makan excursion! Haha�K it was great.

And today�Kwe tried to find the waterfall and saw the opening of Gendang Cave and we ended up by a stream in a rubber estate eating Durian again! I even got a chance to ride behind a mini jip all along the rubber plantations�Kstanding up! AWESOME!!!

Ok�K..so i had fun today�K but I still worry about tomorrow. I start my training at 9.30am. my other days starts at 12-9pm. Cool ? haha�K. Will let ya know if it is cool.
But one thing that kept me going was the Word of GOD. I managed to get myself together to ask the Lord for forgiveness and to ask Him to lead me in this new job. He gave me Galatians 6. Each verse spoke so much as if it was meant for me as I start work. And I m deeply blessed because God revealed this to me. All glory to GOD!

THE BEST LESSONS WE CAN EVER GET ARE FROM THE BIBLE. TO BE A SERVANT LEADER, A GOD-BASED PERFORMANCE EVALUATION IS WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR.

Step by step - - - *

2005-07-02T01:29:00.000+08:00

Today...suddenly everyone else is out of the house. My cousin and aunty left after staying for one nite. My sick uncle's fren left this morning back to KL. My dad leaves to Thailand for a snorkeling trip and my Ah Sok leaves tomorrow for Cameron. WOW its like suddenly everyone is here and then everyone is gone for the weekend.....

How is my day like? Well today it was better....a blessing from God that it was a peaceful day. To Worship God is a choice. Last week the church went through the Purpose of Life, phase 2- WORSHIP. this week we were suppose to have FELLOWSHIP. i told myself that if i needed to go out and be a LIFE testimony and be an active Christian, i must be a part of a body of Christ. So i went for Cell Group.

A little afraid, a little curious who will be there. but i kinda know the CG Leader so i just went. i pray that i can fit in. The group was mostly young adults with children and babies. Oh well..... it was ok.... got cute babies to look at... and young ppl to hear thier experiences. i pray Lord.....i hope i still get along in the group....and it went on fine in the end...GIVE THANKS to JESUS.....i just love the prayer moment...although it was very quiet...i knew it was a good time. To pray for all the mothers and to know that mothers too have struggles and lack of faith.

I send in my resume for a Graduate trainee position today. I chose Tues 5th July for interview...i hope it'll be an eye openner and the LORD to be with me coz i dunno where it is yet. Thank You Lord in Advance!

So why step by step>?
Step by step because He leads me step by step. Nobody is a better teacher than He is.
First it was the Anger Management Class, Now the Trust Him course and this i believe will take a long time to master.
I trust that Love of the Father is made perfect in Us when we choose to love the people that hurt us and make them our friends than our enemies.

So how about you? ready to take the STEP BY STEP course? Its just right at your door. If you answer it, you must remember it aint' an easy course but you can be sure a Hand will guide you always.

A trainee for Christ first!

God that never changes.....

2005-06-30T01:48:00.000+08:00

Over the past week, have been feeling sad and lonely and missing alot of people. Given the time to spend at home was actually a bonus God reminded me of. A time to reflect of the years God has put me through and not forgetting the friends and fellowship i had. I thank God that when i was at the edge of breaking down, it was always God comforting me.Sometimes it was a friend that came by, sometimes it was just a simple sms that helped me get up and stop crying. Most of the time, God has been faithful and i can never find anyone so Faithful than He is. HE is faithful that His love is never changing and He is faithful that when He says He will take care of you, you get the best He provides.

It occur to me that I had been missing a couple of Friends i made that came from all over the world. And perhaps because of whats happening at home, it made me want a fellowship of friends that i could actually share and pray with. But for now,they are all back to the US and I am alone. So it was something i had to deal with. And most amazingly, through His word and Holy Spirit, God reminded me that I have a friend in Jesus. He never changes and He never changes His address. He is there and here and everywhere and i didnt have to feel alone because the days ahead i will have Him by my side. And that is really what i needed.Someone who will be there all the time for me! Someone whom i can count on and call whenever i want. Itsn't it cool?Haha.....that the knowledge of this just lifted my spirit which was so down and moody. All the dark clouds seem to part and move away and i begin to have peace and simply just to trust Him.

One more thing He reminded me was, although you (my friends) are far away, we are connected because We believe in the Same Living GOD!.... Amen!

Today....two nice ladies came from the Hospice to visit my uncle.I was surprise to see how joyful and encouraging these two were. They told my uncle that he needed to believe that he is a living man not a dying man. That took my attention. I also believed that since we are alive,we should live as LIVING PPL and not dreadfully go through life like Dead PPL. I really thank the ladies for their joyful heart to serve in this ministry to help the cancer stricken patients to live life with quality and to face the facts and still want to live and not die because of anxiety. Which in reality, anxiety is an emotional illness that kills many more people slowly and dreadfully than you ever know~ this is not self theory but a fact that doctors can tell you. Remember that Laughter is the Best Medicine? People who enjoy living and put aside their sickness actually live fuller quality lives than people who worry and worry about their disease and get sicker and sicker because of that. So the choice is yours. Everyone is destined to die at birth. The grace of living to what age is given by God.

1 Sam 13:13-14
Why this verse? I dunno.But i was reading chapter 9- 13:14. I was thinking, to the moment God had appointed Saul as king, did He also already appointed David as king after Saul? Because later Saul did not keep God's command and God took his kingdom away and choose a boyname David who was "after His own heart". I gather in thought as God had already planned the lives of this two man. How fortunate they were to be choosen as kings. I gather, how fortunate i am to be choosen by God to be Grace Leong May Von, a child of God. Then the story goes on. It says that God took his kingdom away because Saul disobeyed God's command and gave it to David. I gather, there are serious consequences when we dont' obey the Lord, voice of the Holy Spirit. And if you dont do it, God will pick someone else. How would you feel if what is yours is taken from you? Not because it was stolen from you but because you did something to deserve that treatment? I would say AWFUL.

One challege from this story was, would i be like Saul who did not obey God or would i be David who was after God's own heart?

Thank You Jesus for watching over me. Thank Jesus for the peace you gave me throughout the day. Thank you Jesus for changing the bad in me to be better in You. Thank You Jesus for being with me. I pray this in Jesus Name.Amen.

Holiday over???

2005-06-28T23:30:00.000+08:00

I have this in mind even in Singapore....haiz....is this the end of my holidays? Will I just get down with a job and stay put with the working life? Well...I left Singapore not feeling all lost of hope but a little more confidence...I knew that God had a greater plan for me than I know of and my purpose of living for Him hasn't been completed as yet. So "What am I here for?"

That question draws attention from most banners in a couple of churches in Penang that have committed to 40 days of Purpose living. Yupps�Kit��s based on the Purpose Driven Life journal written by Rick Warren on how to live life purposefully for CHRIST! I personally had not been committed from the very start of the campaign as I was in Singapore, but I do want to be involved as much as I can till the end of the campaign. So I got myself registered and told myself to at least join a discussion group. So this Friday will be my first�Kwill see how things go, as there are a couple of things happening at home.

As some of you already know, I have an uncle who came over to live with us recently because he was diagnose with final stages of liver cancer. He intentions are to seek medical treatment and another reason is because he has no family of his own. We are trying to accommodate him as much as we can and I have been driving him around to hospitals to ask about his case. It��s been tiring and frustrating these two weeks as he is not an easy person to live with or to please. Coupled with the chronic disease, he enters into the denial stage and later most probably depression. How am I to handle this???
I know I have Christ with me. I know I will have to serve him as though I do it for God and not for man.

So it is this matter at home that has kept me halted at my plans and I don��t even know what to plan now~ I thank God for friends who care to listen and read my sms��s and was there to encourage me, and support me in prayer and words. Thank you Corn, Ming and Erin. God shows me that He hears my every prayer and doesn��t leave me alone to deal with it. However I think more is to come�K..please pray for my uncle and my family�KThank you :)

Alone now at Rach's...

2005-06-18T13:34:00.000+08:00

Samuel and Florence Huber left this morning to Dallas Texas. I miss them. all of Sam's funny faces and noises, all of Florence's hugs and tickles and especially the Huber humour... (;-[)...(:-})

My french frens and i had such great fun in Singapore together with Rachel our Singaporean cute and crazy host that its hard to belief that it has all come to an end. :( i cant wait for the time i will be seeing them again or the people i have met for this two weeks.God has truly blessed me with a Humongus Present for my graduation! hahha.... a trip to Singapore...tripled my circle of frens. Made me pray in faith in Sabah. Met some Crazy Nutty Pastors and handpicked really good frens from all over the World! hahha... God the master plan, the designer of life.

Singapore...i went by Orchard Road, Sun Tec City- Biggest man-made waterfall, Esplanade, The Merlion waterfront, Macritchee Park, stayed in 186 Lornie Road- Eagles Nest, youth camp with 25 young Singaporeans,a trip to Sentosa Island, saw the pink dolphin, underwater world- the most special...Sea Angel, shopping at Chinatown and Night Safari!!! ahh.....i still have the Zoo, the rest of Sentosa, The whole of Orchard to walk and the orchid farm to visit. guess i'll have to catch them next time... ;"}

gosh im so sleepyy...stayed up till 5am we did to prepare some gifts.
goodday...

An AweSomE Work of GOD!!!

2005-06-14T11:51:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, how have you been?
Thank you for dropping by to check out my new updates although i hadn't been updating for quite a long while. well a little peek-a-boo at what i'm doing right now k? hehe....

13May- a group of Crazy Internationals touch down on the Pearl of The Orient. Coming from France, Africa, India, Hawaii and America, they really made a great Mix! hahha... these bunch of ppl are CFNI's. Christ for the Nations full-blown pastors or to-be pastors and future misionaries and evangelists. In fact for some of them the missions had just begun here in Malaysia- Asia! God had been faithful in blessing this team with More than enough finances to come to M'sia and miracles of healing and visa 'get-through' for some and Indeed God had done a great purpose in this team. And I for one am so blessed to be their co-host, friend and mission trip partner. It was AWESOME! (",)

17-20May- The team made its way to Perak, Slim River for their 1st org.asli mission trip. they had such a good experience that you'd need to hear from their mouths~ haha...you can check out my brother;s blog at thomasleong.blogspot.com. he will be putting up almost every part of the trip in there soon...
And as for me? i went back to KL to shift my stuff from Sg.Long, Kajang to Subang Jaya. Nope i'm not staying there, just loaning a place to put my things...Thanks ABBY! owe u lots! thank you for all the trouble with the Land lady and will do my best to move my things immmediately.Anyway, after the shifting. i spent a great time with the Leow's who had been so hospitable and great family to be with. Note: Do not loose Hope for what God has promise you. Hold on and PUSH! Pray till Something Happens!

3-11june - WHat an Awesome Week! I went to Sabah together with the CFNI team and God did so much for the ppl in Pitas as did to us! Amazing how God works and u are just the vessel seeing Him work. I am already missing the whole bunch, Michel, Sam T, Amanda, Jeff, Sidney, Roque, and Thomas my dear brother who left this morning back to Dallas, Texas. I have the most incredible mission trip with them. It didnt matter that we had to sleep together and share a fan, or bath in a Zilion Star hotel at the Paddy Fields or Eat with bugs flying all around us or Pray together through Hot and Sweat and sing Songs we didnt know or the bumpy rides on dirt and Mosquito attacks, it was So Awesome i wish it was a longer month or even if i could just follow em back! [somebody says Amen Sister]~ hahhaha.... Also not forgeting Samuel nd Florence Huber from France who have been such a blessing. I am blessed by the team for the trip to Singapore for the week with Sam and Flo and here i am fully welcomed by Rachel Tay and family who also is a CFNI-an. Awesome! Really want to thank the team for paying for my trip. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.Also not forgetting Tim who had been such fun to be around with. We miss You at Sabah.=)

I have lots to write about you guys...but i prefer to email ya. So in the mean time. i'll be in Singapore till 19 June. Anybody who wnts to reach me can email me or drop by here. I think we are going to the Nite Safari Tonite...Yippee!!!

Take care and make the most of your weekend!
Love you guys.+

Life_ with a midnite impression...

2005-05-23T00:10:00.000+08:00

The title does not tell you much. And i may have no other words to describe the situation i am in. A fren asks me for encouragement, i am ashamed that i am the one who needs some pinch of salt to make my life more lifely than it is now. i am unconsiously getting myself into a puddle of quick sand that keeps sinking and its hard for me to surface. Do we always decide to stay in the puddle and think that life's like that and that we can't change it? I know some belief their future, destiny and life is in their own hands, subtracting the existance of God.

Life... between the lines read the writtings of the Bible to find the secret ingredients to an eternal treasure. Life...live it as if tomorrow never comes? i know there are many things to learn but we never know when we'll ever see tomorrow. i'm alone in this thought and i understand a road is in front of me. do i decide to walk in it as the world would have everyone do so? or would i divert from there and choose to make a new path where no one has used before?

the Mind plays tricks and the soul is weak. Temptations tempts the heart, waywardly it shall follow. When it realizes, all is but 'vain and grasping for wind'? the Bible warns us. To start anew one must trust in the FAther. not doubting nor questioning His awesome power. but there is a difference between refusing to listen and obeying with a sound mind and trusting in the Invisible. The impossible is in fact the "I'm Possible!" says dad of God. Truly the Almighty has His ways. I wont try to outsmart God.

Life... though you do not understand... is the greatest gift of all.

Excited I am!

2005-05-09T12:08:00.000+08:00

Mother's day went well... i gave mom the book of the Heavenly Man. hope it inspires her as much as it did to me. We had lunch at Mr.Ho's. They serve sausages and pork. we ordered a combo and a large platter of meat came. Man, i felt so Carnivorous! haha...maybe you should try. Mr.Ho's roasted pork ribs are so good you want to lick the bones! haha...the nite before, we had steamboat. Also left for home with a full stomach after strolling the nite hawker stalls in Jlan Raja Uda in Butterworth. worth it! yummy....

well eating with chopsticks is still a problem for me. i cant grip tightly, and so the left hand has to "kau tao" to sifu right hand for lessons. it did picked up some chillies in the platter, about the most successful haha :0
Yesterday i drove my mom's Avanza. Fortunate it was auto. but most unfortunately i bang mythumb against the sterring and suffered a "Yap" like a puppy yapping away....but it was just that. no bleeding. yeah my dear thumb is still the same size. my skin is peeling but the swelling comes back again and again. not my cup of tea to see my ugly thumb, but i pray it heals properly...nothing disfigured i hope.

today i had a good news. i have been called for an interview at BM. i'm not sure how to get there. but i will go to this interview this thursday.please pray i do well no matter what the circumstances ya. i have to find my way there,hopefully i can drive properly with my thumb. plus my documents are all in KL! how? no worries. i just need to prove of my enrolment in UTAR, so that means i have to go onnline and prove to them my latest results.

with that,i'm excited! i have to get some interview/working clothes. and get myself ready for the interview this thursday. i'm still praying for God's will, whether He will open doors for me in KL or Penang. I also got a sms from a friend about a job openning in KL. will send him my resume soon. will you pray together with me?

ya...i am reminded of those stories in The Heavenly Man. Not my will but Yours Lord. God sometimes allows us to go through desolate situations where in those times only we can rely on The Father and learn to trust Him with all our hearts and soul and mind. If possessions have taken your focus away from God, beware He may take them away. For God is a jealous God. If you have strive so much for His ministry, forgetting your first love, you may find it a habit and not doing it solely for Jesus. Then things start to crumble and you got no one and nothing to hold on to,you think you are doing the right thing, but why is God allowing all this things???? i trust you will find out why when you wholly give up your rights and let God restore you.

Oh i forgot...my last paper-tax... was a PASS! hahaha...muah muah~ so happy, does the cartwheel roll....OF COurSe Not! dont want my thumb to bengkak like in the cartoons....Big Red thummby...... hahha

have a Great DAy everyone =)

I'm home...

2005-05-06T12:42:00.000+08:00

hey everyone...i arrived home to penang yesteerday 6pm.
to continue from the previous post...immediately after knowing my results for that particular paper, my frens and i went to consult our lecturer for tips on the supplementary exam. yes i did not fail but a few frens did. and to cut the story short i give thanks that the dream came true.my Lord answered my prayer, both the pain and the exam. now i only have to wait for the results of one more paper - tax!

at 5pm that same day,i went to see the town doctor and he did a minor op on my thumb. he drilled four holes on my nail and had the blood drained out 'blob by blob', gruesome~! hahaha... i thought it was exciting to see the blood coming out and reliefing the pressure on my swollen thumb. God is gracious, He answered my prayer again! i had prayed that i dont have to pull off my nail,because it freaks me out just thinking of it...how painful it would be... but now... see how faithful He is.my thumb was naturally numb when the doc did the drilling with a big needle and applying pressure on my thumb. so i didnt even need the anasthetic jap. PRAISE GOD!

i did took pictures of my thumb now...but because of the yellow flarin, it now looks like a green alien creature...so i shall not make my site ugly by posting it here. will take a nicer pic once its well. (",) so thank you for praying for me. just to let you know,our God is faithful even for the smallest things in the world!

my bro called me this morning.he is coming home on the 13th of may. i will be joining him and his team for Sabah missions on June3- 11. i will be the unofficial translator from Eng to BM. i need help. fromnow on ppl please talk to me in BM! i also need a BM Bible. Please let me know where i can get one or if anyone has one that i can borrow?

great miracle!

2005-05-04T16:40:00.000+08:00

i passed my paper!!!! i 'm so glad!!! i wanted to head home but the time is not suitable.. its jam hour...so going home now would be stressful... to wait another day? i hope my thumb can wait.
do pray thanks...

praising Him always!!!

What do you think?

2005-05-04T14:28:00.000+08:00

my horrible thumb
the 4th day...since i bang my thumb with the car door!
accident of coz!

horrible~!i thank God that now my thumb is numb,less painful than 3days ago.

the side view tells you all....my nail is coming off! ArrGGHhh!!!

grrr!!! it costs me pain to post like this...this was the 3rd day.

i have been warned that my thumb will be senseless if i dont pull the nail off. see what i mean by my horrible thumb? but i still give thanks and am asking God if He'll give another option. my mom says i should go home but i have yet to know my results. the staff is unwilling to key into the computer the results and i;'m waiting. please let me pass so i go home~!

i have second tots, but i chose to trust God. i chose to believe He can heal me. i have everyone around feeling sorry for me but i have lost certain feelings in my thumb. it has started to get numb, God answered my prayer to ease the pain on the 1st and 2nd day. considering the fact i couldnt sleep...the pain was excruciating....now....im waiting.....

please pray for me thumb and results...
i had a dream yesterday, in it i saw the my asnwer script for POm,i had gotten a 75, sum up 60. i'm not sure why but i feel at peace today. i pray that my dream is true. that i will pass my paper. i belief that God has been and will be gracious. He will want the best for me. because of that i also wanto acknowledge my pals especially my housemates who have cared and looked after me during my thumb ordeal. really thankful that God put angels beside and that i needn't be alone.

trust in the Lord with all your heart, look not into your own understanding.

psalm 32:8 says this, ' The Lord says," I will guide you to the best pathways for your life, I will advise you and watch over you."

this verse was given to my mom for her new car number that ends with 3262. verse 32, and 6+2=8, verse 8. somehow or rather i claim that verse in my life too... as i pray to Him to show me the way i should go, now that i am in a crossroads of just finishing my course and looking for a job.

you too...trust in the Lord whatever u are going through.

I'm back but hurting.....

2005-05-02T15:37:00.000+08:00

hahha..yeahhh back and hurting in the thumb!!!....
what? you were thinking some 'guy' had to do with it? hahha guess again....
i accidentally banged my right thumb by the car door yesterday and it has been hurting since! i cant' describe how painful it is but its sure is EXCRUCIATING PAIN!!! Last nite i couldn't even shut my eyes without 2doses of panadol. then woke up in the middle of the nite and the pain was throbbing... i was like... GOD! help me!!! i cant sleep i cant ease the pain and i dont have anyone. i was seroiusly praying in tongues for Him to help me....and then i fell asleep by His grace.

this morning woke up...the pain wasnt that great anymore...but my nail had turn black and my thumb a swollen marshmallow! i put ice to ease the pain... now i'm at Cybercafe writing this. so ya...please pray for my 'malang-ness'. 1st it was my right thumb getting pierced by my umbrella and now this...boy im one clumsy lot.

sorry for all the Missing in Action. i'm still in Kajang. staying for another week to wait for my results and then back home hopefully by 8 may for mother's day. there's a career fair this wed and thursday and i'm afraid i can't be able to sign any papers.please pray for my thumb. i also haven done any resume yet... please pray i get a job...then i know where i'd be...

and yes i would love to hear from all of you my frens... wherever you are... whatever you are doing..drop by here and leave me a note ya...*smiles*

Ladies and Gentlemen.....

2005-04-22T13:34:00.000+08:00

You are about to be bombarded with postings of Gracel.....get ready.....

Wow weeeee!!!!!!!!!!! i just finished my 3rd paper! not very confident in this one though, compared to the last two... but hoping i wont have to stay back in the isle for a resit.... [Oh Lord, puh-lease.........]

With my arms wide enough to hug a hippo,i welcome fellow bloggers and my dearest frens and family! Welcome Welcome Welcome Abby, Corn, Beebs and ahmayz (who?)!

12/4/05 " the heavenly man"

For this whole week, I will be writing from my personal computer, my ever-faithful apple.
[Lord, thank you for this gift�K]

A moment�Kheck! Wasn��t this week supposed to be my study week for my finals??!! Well yea a moment away to do some write up wont kill right? I thought I would just put my experiences of my final year semester study break in here. *smiles :)

The week began with hiccups as expected. A lot of pushing of myself to chew on the notes and articles and books needed to score the paper. International Business Environment. Managed to read a whole chapter but not quite finished with the power point slides last nite (mon). I wonder and I start to think, plan and be anxious, will I be able to finish reading all I need to score in this paper? In fact, am I thinking of scoring? Last SEM, final paper. I need to raise my CGPA. I need this. [Lord, help me�K]

[Tues, today]
I woke at 10am, what a pig�K but forgivable, I slept at 3am last nite. The streamxy lady called. Wanted to install in my house back in PG. I said im only back in May! Well will see how, asked my dad about it, hadn��t received any reply from him as yet. Afterwards, inspiration came for a poetic moment�K. here goes�K

�� When life hangs a milestone on you, trust Him, He cares for you.
When you fish and there isn��t, trust Him, fish the other side..
When love turns on you, trust Him, Jesus came for you.��

Not very wordy I hope, but I still feel it could have been better. Such thoughts help me reflect on life itself, my past and what the future would have been without God.

Took up the book ��The heavenly man�� by Paul Hattaway, and started reading to begin the day. Promised myself that I��ll try to read a book a month, taking it as a good habit and a way to improve my mind. Anyways, it was a book I bought for mom for mother��s day in advance. She knows about it but I cant give her till May when I return home. So I��ll read it first. Heard that it was a good book and would like to invest my money and have it as owned and not borrowed. :)(Thank you Jessey for offering to lend me yours).

Only read the forewords and preface, not that I lost interest, but I need to get back to studying, having spent 15mins in writing this�K:) here��s something that interest me�K

��If you give God the right to yourself, he will make a holy experiment out of you. God��s experiments always succeed.��- Oswald Chambers.

[ Lord I belief�K]

10:04pm 14/4/05
Currently listening to ��Your love is better than life�� by Skillet.

Life is in fact better, knowing that God loves you. The One who made me and gave me my name. I don��t need flowers to make me happy, I know my father loves me. ��He keeps me alive�� =) As I recall, I have recently learn to ��Let Go�� something I had taken onto myself and putting ��that�� down and letting God love me, helped me to begin to focus on the Cross and none others.

"Emotions and a wondering mind,
None of which will bring you anywhere.
Laughter and ridiculous chatter,
Shows a joy so unreal within the heart."

May I say, ��Stop wandering, stop imitating, and stop pretending.��
But ��Start listening, start remembering, start receiving, and start acting.��

��If you are walking in darkness,
Without a ray of light,
Trust in the Lord
And rely on your God.
But watch out, you who live in your own light
And warm yourselves by your own fires.
This is the reward you will receive from me:
You will soon fall down in great torment.��

{�KIsaiah 50:10-11�KNLT}

This week can be said to be self-reflecting, and self-edifying. Had been studying, reading the Bible, additional readings (The Heavenly Man & The Purpose Driven Life), making my time at home here not wasted I hope. The stories had been compelling, and the teachings are helping me understand the Father better. This time around, instead of looking at others, or waiting to be served or attention seeking, I felt contented and satisfied, coz God came to fill that gap. I too wanted to feel the hunger for His word and His plan in my life. And that��s my prayer.

MY Bro and his team of 9 are coming down to Malaysia. I��m so excited! I told him that I��d be joining them on their Sabah trip. Dad and Mom approves of it. I��m glad, but I also know that there are some uncertainties. Pls do pray for the team together with me, for:-
More than Enough Funds for flight tickets to Sabah, (already booked)
More than enough funds to live in Malaysia and spend and to even give it out.
Transportation,(e.g a van so that they can go to their place of ministry.)
Unity and ability to adapt to new environment
Plans to go according to God��s will.

Thank you for supporting in prayer. I belief the Lord will surely blessYou and Your family too :)

18/4/05 2:30am ��The day has become night, the night has become day.��

So often I am unaware of the time and that lead to misconceptions and the feel of just ��flying�� by. Saturday morning I woke up fresh thinking it was 8:30am, while it was in fact 1:30pm! Terrible! My dear clock had tricked me! I rolled and rolled and continued to slumber till my back aches. I wondered, what is the matter? Its only 8:30am and the curtains were drawn; tricking me it was still early.

It was 10:30pm on Sunday, when I couldn��t open my eyes. A thin line appeared where it was once my usual round bright eyes. Ahh�Kthe night is still young but I have not the strength to read on. There are 6 chapters remaining of International Business Environment. I fell into deep sleep with my teddy beside me.

The night before I had been so engrossed with the book ��the heavenly man��. Many times the Lord had spared the life of His servants. But the man ��Yun�� in China had had to endure terrible sufferings for the sake of Christ. His own Christian brothers in Hubei forsook him without a blanket out in the icing cold. He endured horrible tortures and was despised by other criminals in prison. He became a being not recognizable to his mother and wife. Frail, skinny, bonny, beaten, tortured, blood and sweat matted together, disfigured by extensive electrocution.

The stories told were not just an imaginary state of the mind, it was the real sufferings and persecutions of a man called to serve the Lord. In my mind, fear cripped in. Fear of the many sufferings that will come my way for standing up for Jesus. How horrible or terrible the sufferings I dared not think. I am petrified.

But His Word endures forever! Throughout the many sufferings he went through while spreading the good news of the salvation of Christ, the Lord repeatedly strengthened and restores him through His Words from the Bible. Each time he wanted to give up, the verses he memorized surfaced to encourage him. The Holy Spirit became his only friend and comfort. He was determined to die for the sake of Christ! But to those who gambled on his life, they lost, as the Lord sustained him and did the impossible. He lived in prison 74days without food or water.

��Let Your will be done and not mine�� V Jesus said. (Matthew 27:42, Mark 14:36, Luke 22:41)

I was deep in thought the whole day. Shaken and challenged by this man of God. Living night and day running away from authorities seeking to kill him for preaching the gospel to the whole of China. What am I Lord? I am but nothing compared to him. I am but nothing compared to Jesus Christ who suffered for my sins. I am but nothing.

��If you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple.��- these are the words of Jesus in Luke 14:27.

[Lord, help me understand.]
4am.

YEah.....

2005-04-07T11:28:00.000+08:00

Which Incredibles Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Incredible it is....but is it true? i dont think so, comments please...haha.... i think i need to take the test again...*smirk*...thanks to tom for the cute site =)

Life as it is...=P

2005-04-05T14:35:00.000+08:00

Ok alright my site probably looks and sounds babyish to some... akeke (wk...dont laugh at me lah...i want to improve also...i come back you give me classes ah? Hamster!)

i'm rather glad Pheng, my dear friend has gotten the visa. Greenlight to US! hahhaha... sounds too amazing to be true after the waiting and all.... anyways... Corn is in KL for this 4 days and i hope i can meet up with him...but you know its rather difficult to meet anyone in town when you are somewhere in an isolated isle like Bdr. Sg.Long! hahha... it takes 2hours to reach church in Seapark. whats more... you gotta wait for the unsuspecting public bus, which does the 'mary poppins' whenevr it wants to.... how cruel.. gotta wait in the hot sun beside the rubbish dump you know!

anyways... will take some pics with Corn for all eyes to see my beloved Sabah brother if i do~ hehe...and yea.. maybe the nex time i'll upload the food i cooked for the past days too... or rather 'we' cooked....its amazing how you can cooked up something without all the necessary ingredients and yet it still tastes good =)

also... Tom, let me know if you wannna come down to KL to see where i live if you have the time... but i guess not.... coz i m not sure when i'll be moving after i finish my last paper on the 26. oh yes yes... please do so pray for me!!!!!

Exam dates :-
19/4 - International business Environment
20/4- Corporate Governance
22/4- Portfolio Management
26/4- Business Taxation

My gratefullness to the Lord, coz two of my assignments got considerably good marks...beyond what i expected and beyond my effort. REally praise the Lord for it. and Also would like to thank Him for giving me a brand new specs....which is of the same model. the padding had broken off in the other and had been wearing it with only one nose padding....but thankfully they compensated me with a brand new one for FREE!!!

Always Give Thanks!

Why blog?

2005-04-04T12:45:00.000+08:00

Anyone with a different meaning and reason to bloogging pls stand up?!

hah... i just thought of the question, i mean does anyone who blogs ever think of such question besides me before they start blogging? i wonder is it for updating your frens or for the sake of wanting to blurt your thoughts out to the world like a open magazine, now that it costs you free publishing here? or the likes of sharing your intimate moments to the world at large so that you wont be forgotten? a sense of achievement?

i wonder too...why im doing this blogging at this hour? why? will anyone see what i write anyway? or will someone actually misuse the details of my blog?

however so far... it has been encouraging to get feedbacks and comments on the first post i posted... and yes we need to stay physically pure for the one we marry for a lifetime...that is as far as commanded by God in His word as mentioned, even though the world perceived marriage as a certain product 'off' the shelve where you can purchase if you like or refund if you find no "fit" in it..... that in my opinion is way out! how can you do that? Divorce is not a solution! and neither is "try outs!" and last but not least... people aren't a bunch of "products" you can trade with. You treasure them with care and feelings even when you dont feel like it....and thats where unconditional love comes in..... where Jesus, started this very truly amazing love for all mankind... unbelievable? Believe it!

Love in Christ!

A struggle for some ppl?

2005-04-01T13:38:00.000+08:00

My Boyfriend Wants to Have Sex by Dawson McAllister

"I met a guy last year, and we have been going out since then. The thing is, he has been willing to have sex and keeps pushing me to do it. I know that it is against God's law, but I don't want to wait. If I found the right guy (which I think that I have), at the perfect place and time, I think that I could do it. But if I don't do it now, I am afraid I might lose him. I will hold on as long as I can, but please answer quickly. I don't want to lose him." -- Patricia

You are honest, Patricia, and I respect that. And that means I'm going to be honest with you, completely honest and straight up. After all, we're not talking kiddy games here. I sense you do not understand what a dangerous path you are on. You simply don't realize how high the stakes are in your decision whether or not you go to bed with this guy.

You're well aware that sex before marriage is against God's law. You admit that. You know that it's wrong. I know it's wrong. God tells us it's wrong.

It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in a passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God.
-I Thessalonians 4:3-5

God again makes it very clear in Ephesians 5:3:

"But among you there must not even be a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity...because these are improper for God's holy people."

That's what God tells you, Patricia, about premarital sex. And about this guy -- he doesn't really love you. If he did, would he ask you to do something against God's law when he knows you want to obey God? No. Absolutely not. He's not thinking about you. He's thinking about his glands and what he wants. And in 1 Corinthians 13:5, in the love chapter, we are told that love "is not self-seeking."

This guy isn't concerned about what's right and wrong. The truth of God's law doesn't matter to him. And again in 1 Corinthians 13, verse 6, God says,

"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth."

What this guy wants is sex; real love isn't a part of this picture, and that means he cannot love you the way God wants you to be loved.

Something else really disturbs me about your letter, Patricia. You said if you didn't have sex with him now you might lose him. That tells me you are more concerned about this guy than finding and obeying God's will for your life. Quite honestly, you are letting this guy become your God. He is first in your life. That is dangerous territory.

God doesn't play games with us. He makes that very clear. Jesus said in Luke 6:46, "Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?" And in John 14:15, Jesus said it again, "If you love me, you will obey what I command."

So what you are doing, Patricia, is mocking God. You are saying that you know what God wants you to do, but you aren't willing to do it. You are putting your boyfriend above God. And you are fooling yourself if you think you can fool God.

"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows," we are told in Galatians 6:7. I can't tell you exactly what you will reap if you turn your back on God and go to bed with this guy or any other guy. That sexual sin could have any number of serious consequences: broken fellowship with God, guilt and shame, loss of dignity, AIDS or some other sexually transmitted disease, low self-esteem, unwanted pregnancy, stirred up desires which can't be fulfilled, and, yes, even fear.

Patricia, I plead with you. Do the right thing. Ask God to give you power and strength and desire to obey Him. Say, like Paul said in 1 Corinthians 10:13:

"No temptation has seized (me) except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let (me) be tempted beyond what I can bear. But when (I am) tempted, he will also provide a way out so that (I) can stand up under it."

Commit yourself to the truth, Patricia, and I promise you God will help you. Explain it to your boyfriend. And if he keeps pushing you -- if he pushes you even once -- then lose him. Break it off. It's simply not worth it.

Remember, God loves you. With his help, you can do it. I know you can.

Author: Dawson McAllister of Dawson McAllister Live!
Copyright ? 1997, 1998, Dawson McAllister Live!

A New Beginning!

2005-04-01T13:20:00.000+08:00

Helo Ha!
A very special thanks to my mother, my father, my brother and last but not least God the Father for giving me this chance to blog!

Well Yippeee!!!! Gracel is finally blogging for the public to see!!! hahahaa.... overjoyed i seem...
but fear not more is to come...will try to dilly dally with stuffs.... anyone know how i can put up a chat box?

mind you....its 1st of April 2005....and it aint April's fool... the only fool i'm gonna be is Christ's!
hahah..... hopefully with a blog, i can keep my friends..."you!" with all the crazy, sleepy, blurry, inspiring days of my life!

God Bless!!!