Down on my feet

hey hey... i am down on my feet in KL. Have been wanting to go to KL for a long time since i quit my job at the bank. And then finally i'm down here and meeting up with my friends from dumc and uni friends. i am blessed.

but currently having a bit of the flu since down here and wished i wasnt so that i can eat all the great food and hang out more. so do pray for me.

Ahh.... i forgot! Its the ANNIVERSARY of my blogging history! I posted my first post on 22 April 2005. ITS been a YEAR@! HipHip Hurray! I have survived a year of updating myself and writting about the most important parts of my life in here,and most importantly....i hope i have blessed you with some of my testimonies of how God has been good to me.... and the best thing yet is... that God is still going to be good all the TIME! Praise HIM!

You know... when we reflect back at the things we write or remember the times we went through, I cant help but feel blessed that God has gotten me through the horrids and also the joys. Remembering should not hurt, but instead u should see yourself healed and better than before. I really thank God that nothing runs out of coincidence, and that God has a plan for everything!

I wish.....

I wish that one day i could write in here that i'm flying to everywhere in the whole world.
I wish that i will tell u more each day on my adventures and what i'd seen.
I wish it could be easy to have wings and fly when i want to.
I wish that i can touch the stars and gaze at the moon larger than my face.
I wish i was there with you and back with you.
I wish it was just not a dream.
I wish that sometimes the wind will bring me there.
I wish that i was the wind.
I wish i could see the Northen Lights.
I wish that when i dream, there is hope.
I wish that i knew where i'm flying to this time,or will i.............~ ~ ~ ,',----<@

You Should Drive a Saturn Sky

You're sleek and smooth, and you need a car to match your hot persona. Besides, sometimes you want your top up - and sometimes you want it down.

What 2007 Car Should You Drive?

Weddings and Funerals and A risen KING!

Hey guys... its been as eventful....even when i'm still jobless at this time.

April 14th...Good Friday service with my parents at the Berjaya Hotel. The speaker was Rev.Fred Seaward. Watched and heard him describe the death of a great King. Taking the whip and hearing the lashes,we picture this Great King, being deformed as his flesh was taken out of him as the whips with claws ripped his back. Then we see the Cross as He alone carried it on His back, "With splitters piercing His back even more." Imagine the pain He had to go through. They hung Him on that same Cross and He had to push His body upwards so that He could breath as His hands and legs were nailed to the Cross!

This story doesnt end like in any movies... the Hero dies.......AND......the best thing is... He didnt stay dead....He got the keys from Hell and stood before hundreds to prove HE had RISEN from the Dead! And the keys of death in His hands, tells us that we can now live eternally than eternal death and suffering. We only make one move, which is to choose to believe this name called Jesus, whose life God could have choosen to spare but instead...you know the story...was given as a sacrifice for you! I trust this story of Love overwhelms you everyday and even cause you to be so curious, you would want to find out "WHY"....dont just let me tell you in this short story...Dont just let anyone tell you the story...Take the book and read it yourself...its called the Bible.


April 15th....the wedding of a couple i had been in touch almost my entire teen life till now. My once cell leader DAnny and my big sister in Christ, Megan got married after a much long courtship...such a blessing that God has bless this union...which also brings back relationships long lost. I always think... a union brings another union...i'm talking about friends we havent seen for a long time coming back for the wedding and meeting up with them to see how they are... its been a blessing. I met up with a couple of friends...those that i had grown up with in church...and those that had gone to other places and back just for the union.

April 16th.... the day the Lord Jesus Christ rise from the Dead! AWESOME! Everywhere every one celebrates God's victory over sin and death~! Its no hoax... its the reason why we believe in God. Because if Jesus did not resurrect, there wouldn't be any reason for celebration.... and there wouldn't be any hope left for this world. Usually during Easter Sunday, many will pledge thier commitment to follow Christ when they get baptised. Its a symbol to say... we no longer live our lives like in the past...but to be a new creation in Christ, new life with Jesus. new meaning to the purpose in living and choosing to say... GOD i want to be part of your great plan for my life!

April 17th... A day begun with news of the death of an uncle back in PUSING,IPOH. My mom's brother in law. Have to go back for his funeral today.... a sudden news to us, however we weren't very close to him though...but its customary to attend the funeral of a relative member of the family. Praying for a safe journey and a pleasant stay in IPOH though the grief of the family.

There there..... all about Weddings and funerals and a Risen King!
A time to celebrate and a time to grief.

Exotic I am

You Are Chinese Food

Exotic yet ordinary. People think they've had enough of you, but they're back for more in an hour.

What Kind of Food Are You?

Amazing how we call ourselves... exotic, self proclaim heroes, peacefully radical, all-rounded feaster, tenderly outrageous, passionate believer and unbeatable among others. Nope u may not hear these names yourselves, but how often are we taken for names we are not?

Be original, forget imitating others, it'l be so hard for those who might be actually imitating You! haha... thats funny...I just have this message... improve yourself and stay true to being who you are. God made you special. YOu are you and I am me...Let us celebrate our uniqueness and thank God!

You Are Kermit

Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly, you get along well with everyone you know. You're a big thinker, and sometimes you over think life's problems. Don't worry - everyone know's it's not easy being green. Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies!

The Muppet Personality Test

The Morning Light

O the Wonderful Cross, what the morning that gives its light. How awesome that He watches us and looks at us.He knows he has made us with substance and not far from Him likeness... How wonderful He is... and angels adore Him and music is played all day and night. No other but Him in all of HeaVen and Earth!

Let the meaning and purpose of life, again fill our hearts where there is hatred, ignorance, unforgiveness, hurt and pain, self-indulgence, pride, intimidation, suffering, hunger, self-torturing, and etc. May these end at the Cross where sins are washed away and our past just a memory. Let His grace lead you through each day. Let His glory so forth shines out from you.

May this Easter show you that Love was not in vain. May you know.....

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent. Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art. You would make an excellent: Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

This is the result of the second time i answered the test. How ironic can it get. The first result says i should be a Teacher.
I still dont know what i want to be. But i know i cant persuade or sell, so why do i choose marketting? Can skills be trained and learned up? i mean Selling and persuading. On the other hand, i could become an actor, book editor, clothes designer, dancer and maybe a sculptor... Not DJ, i'm too naive, or art teacher, too little experience in art stuff, comedian? does anybody laugh at my jokes? i cant do graphic design, illustrator or musician without goin to school to learn about it. So thats taht....:( :)

Tomorrow Comes and Tomorrow Goes

I'm living on the side walks of life. Watching as the figures walk by and frames run through. Its a busy day for some, and yet its been a lazy day for me. I am looking...but not joining them. I have yet to get a notch of truth and sometimes i've been the worst i ever am in the day and stay up all night to wonder Why i did that!

Its cruel to the body and sapping the spirit of its strength. Sleep deteriorates and the body functions with half its internal organs asleep. The heart beats with rhythms undeterred and yet the system of the brain plays a different tune. Wonders and worries collide together but when do such companies match up? Bishops and nuns have a vow to keep. A letter in a word describes the word. A common thought brings out the best in knowledge and reasoning. Sometimes, we don’t even know why we reason.

We tend to keep our love ones from the secrets in our lives, yet we run to them when we need them to listen. Trust is overly used and sometimes breached, painful and unforgiving. Stories told and stories heard, lessons learnt and actions responded. We show our care but expectations can be disappointing. Right and Wrong Decisions will be queried of you in the future, yet today we face them every minute. Not making any is not an answer but an excuse and a failure.

Happiness is your effort. What you strife for is what you get. How true will this be? Are we not submitted to the higher authority that controls all walks of life? A simpler explanation could not be as sincere as a rich man that stores up for the winter and decides to have fun all year round, that when he has finished his efforts of storing and keeping, his life is taken from him that very night. Luke 12 :16-21.

Amused by it...in awe of it

Whatever u do.... catch a butterfly and watch it fly. See the blue skies with white sheep clouds swift by. Honey bees making their runs for cups of nectar. Will the world stop to look at nature at all?

Out of the morgue...

Yes... test results... the round spot is now red and rosy...and no you cant have a Bite! hehe... the doctor says its at bottomline after he meassured its redness to be around 1cm. So he gave me a negative! *Phew!....its all over....I dont have Tibi and i dont need to take any X-rays to prove anything. HEALTHY!!!!!! yaya...

Ok....so application will be underway. Will send all the rest of the documents tomorrow. Nope i wont be putting up another picture of a death scene...haha....sorry i scare ya all...it was not my intention...but i take a pic of every part of body that gets some weird treatment...just like my thumb the other time.... come to think of it...why do i have all this weird things? ahha.....bah...it makes me special...*wink* anyways.... my thumb is back to normal...no more blacky...but still sensative...if u had missed my horrible thumb pictures... check out the May 2005 postings...the ugly pics are there.

Gosh....have you guys heard any Hokkien songs? this song i'm hearing is horrible! wanna laugh but cannot laugh...haha... never ever ask any hokkien to sing puhhhhleaseeeee..... especially rap...

Out of the morgue is an illustration,it doesnt mean i've been there but i have been in there in my spirit... feels as if its total death... i cant seem to find my future, nothing is certain and i am not having an income. Self-struggle seems to get a hold of me. oh...bah....pray for me yah...

You Are a Powdered Devil's Food Donut

A total sweetheart on the outside, you love to fool people with your innocent image. On the inside you're a little darker, richer, and more complex. You're a hedonist who demands more than one pleasure at a time. Decadent and daring, you test the limits of human indulgence.

What Donut Are You?

MANTOUX Test

A certain test i had to do...Mantoux Test was the name. Sounded like Sheltox, the mosquito spray~! Anyways...there i went to the nurses room, they pulled the needle and injected the toxin. He says...(Yes, he was a male nurse)...,"You know what this is, don't you? Its a skin test to check if i had Tibi~ So they'll inject it on my hand and draw a circle....thats what it's all about. He says I am not suppose to rub it off till I see the Physician on Monday. Which is 3days later.

Blame me...I said, " Well why dont you draw a flower instead? that'll look better..." He said,"Well..i will~",chuckles. But He didn't. He left the round spot there and told me not to wash it or soap it.

So i took a morgue picture of my hand to show you that ITS THE TRUTH! haha.... so.... in 3days... i will know if i have Tibi. Maybe it'll swell...or it'll itch....or it'll be black! Will it stop me from going out? Nope! i have a tendency to draw on my hands with the absence of paper... so... it should be alrite wouldn't it???????????????? God give me strong immune system!

On the other hand...please dont think this is some Drug addicts hand after he died of drug injection overdose k...CSI fans are warned...
...haha..couldn't you possibly help to say i'm so good in disguise? hehe....ok...enough ya.... =P

Helping others to help Yourself

I have this thought. But is it true, or does it work?

Suddenly it hits me that i dont have all the Problems in the world, or so i thought. The world is full of surprises and yet full of discomforts of the soul. A man cries as his only light dies in his arms. A lady moans as she looses her first love. A man lives as though his soul has left him, a girl walks down the street hoping to be heard and cared for. A boy makes his way across a street with tears and finds his mother beneath a car. A daughter sits and waits but her father will never come. A lady looks to the sky and moans her beloved, a man drives aimlessly with no happy thoughts. A serious man is only himself when he sobs at his bedside. A dear sister never forgets her dead brother. An infant will never feel his mother's love again. A patient longing for life not his.

All this happen for a reason, yet you see A teacher making it happen as though the opportunity would have been hers. Her students love her. They pour out to her and tell her their sores and sorrows. She doesn't mind getting her hands dirty with bloody bandages or that her eyes were swollen for crying with them. She is but Someone ordinary. Like us, she has her own hurts and a past. But to her all those is forgotten as she helps to comfort others. Comforting others may just help to solve our own problems.

I have many problems...some i cant share coz they are too secret in my heart, yet some are such that we can share becoz its similar to others. Yet all this comes out of life. Questioning WHY God allowed it to happen will not stop it, neither will denying it do the deal. Choose to overcome it. Be a better Person. God can help. Someday you'll be a teacher when someone falls into the same hole you did a few years back.

BABY just out

Baby :Mommy, when will i be out?
Mom: Baby, please dont kick me by the side, you'll know when you come out.

Baby : But mommy, I want to see the world!
Mom : Oh, but the first thing you'll do is Cry!

Baby : Mommy, What is cry? Is it the voice i hear singing to me while i'm swimming in here?
Mom : Baby, you'll be good, daddy has been singing love songs to you and not me...

Baby : Mommy, what kind of a world is out there?
Mom : Oh there's everything here. But one day you might hate me for bringing you out to this world.

Baby : Why will i hate you?
Mom : You will hate me for loving you!

Baby : Mommy, I dont understand, i want to come out now!
Mom : Wait, your time will come.

Baby : Mommy, tell me how can i hate you when u love me so much?
Mom : I will tell you when the time comes.

Baby: Mommy, then tell me how i can love you more and not hate you someday.
Mom :Sure. I will teach you everyday by showing you how to love by loving you.

******************************************************************************************************************************
* Just a little something for a friend who is about to give birth today. I remembered a verse that goes like this, "Teach the child the way he should go, and when he grows up, he will not turn away from it."
* Teach them love, kindness, gentleness , patience and most importantly a love for God and they will learn everything else.
* Little Baby, Time will come when You'll find all the answers, right now, just let ya mommy kiss you everyday with love.

These are the few of my favourite things...

As the music plays and as Maria sings, the Sound of Music captivates me again after a few years back watching it as a child. It is a masterpiece of a good musical...of which i loved. I borrowed My Fair Lady too and thought it good too...i like musicals...its like every part of your life can be sung out and danced with. A story to tell but put a tune to it,it'll be much more exciting!

I'm excited to leave the company, but also anxiety creeps in.My income will stop and i wont know when i'll be able to get a new job. When you were young, it didn't really bother you but now it does. You think of the next step to take. I cant but be awaken of the fact that we have to plan now...bout Who? will i be. What? should i do. Which? way to take. How? to plan to achieve it. I answered Why? because i dont want to depend on my parents anymore...its time they lived for their own again. To enjoy what they earned, to live without worries of us. To let them take time for each other again, to Joyfully serve God.

Hey....watcha think of my room? hehe.... cools eh? bah.... its a showroom lah!

Taking time to write...

Its pass the month of January and come now the midof february. I have certainly been quiet, ya i know. Just to fill in some events that came pass the last month of January.

All month January was of mixed feelings...i dont remember what happened as though its been long history that your mind mentally erases the thoughts and memories of the past experiences. But the last two posts of January was one sad and one happy. Basicly i had been working and working and feeling worked out! thats just the case for all new freshies out to work. I mean people think banks are 9-5pm business but its NOT TRUE! i have been working till like 9pm these few days, its sapping the spirit and now i am SICK....the flu, phelgm and cough.

January is a bore... lets go to February... i took on the resposibility of being the only customer service at the bank out on the front desk. THANK THE LORD for His years of training and His doing in my life. I could never imagine being at the front and talking in all Chinese, English or Malay at all times and look at me~! I used to be a shy girl... and horribly timid and speechless...but now...THANK YOU LORD for doing the changing process in me. Its been touching 6months now, whereby the probation period will end and my boss will be giving me an appraisal and enrol me permanently as her staff. I dare not think i should continue. From day one i entered, i had been telling people i will quit the job. And Finally...i handed my resignation and will work fully till end of the month to getmy full pay. I was ever happier.

I can tell you, it has been a time of reflecting as i work my last few days with the bank. I see my colleagues as my frens.. where i learned to chit chat and talk about thier families and learn about thier difficulties and struggles at work. I never regretted those moments after completing my work and waiting for a colleague to finish hers. There were a couple of people i respected and there were those that you wouldnt want to go near. Mom says, "There is always a pin in every department wherever you work, you cant get away from it. They prick and hurt you and you still have to work with them." A friend confirms saying," you may have people you dont like, but you still have to deal with them in business." Most people say, working is so much more different than studying. They dont want friends, they want results. What happen to the work together and befriend your local colleagues? In college, we share tips, we help each other out. But now... people have turned to themselves...frens are no longer more valueable than their earnings. Has greed taken the heart of all men?

In the mean time.... quiting the job has been a long issue of thinking over and over again....and now that its done , its gonna be tough..coz its gonna be waiting upon the LORD for doors to open. I must remind myself not to be depressed at home. I must equipped myself with possiblities and positiveness. Take opportunities that come my way...make use of my time. A person has to grow, has to learn, has to work.

If you are finding it hard to live now....ask the Lord for His special grace. He can make the mountains move and split the sea!
I had also been having some frens telling me about their problems and i am wondering why me? when i have my own problems? how can i be of help? Ask God...He may have an assignment for you, or just to remind you, you are not the only person with problems, but lots more out there that have problems and no one , no God to turn too. What makes you?

I also wan to acknowledge God for His repeated blessinggs in my life as he uses me in children ministry. Taking the challenge to be part of the ministry and holding my desire to dance, is much a learning process and rewarding. HE reminded me that i coulddo all things through Christ that Strengthens me. I see myself getting bolder in terms of approaching children, learning to speak to them like adults but simple for themto understand, learning to control the class and learning their lessons before teaching them. I remember my teacher in bible class very well because she is a wonderful teacher! Like in the Bible it says, "let those who can teach, teach!" I know my God has plans for me...and i'm learning to be in His plans not just part of it. The Lord has helped me love children, which i was so scared to in the past. Change can be good. :)

Thanking God is a good practice, less we think toomuch of ourselves, and make pride sit on the throne in our hearts, Its a humbling act to say "Thank You, Lord, its not me, but You in all."

I'm hoping MARCH to have a good start, middle and end, and so on with the rest of the year. GOD BLESS!!!

Phantom of the Nite

Mysterious and unknown...it strikes like a phantom in the nite. A certain time, a certain season, a certain face. It dwells in the lurky shadows that none will expect it to arise. The sun brings not 'it's fear but instead a hidden self. A certain being is being hard to understand, a stumbling shock to those near 'it'. What is it that the form does not even know how 'it' existed. Was it mere adjustment or dawn of a new ? The smell of foulness overwhelms the beholder and will surely affect the rest beside 'it'. The reality of 'it' struggles to break through but time and time again 'it' fails and it brings along 'its' failure wherever it goes. What is 'it'?

Lurking or not....the phantom will not last. A bright light shines dimly in the further night. Its a call...not like any other... maybe it'll help. May fear turn to trust. May lostlessness be found...may all the uglyness become beautiful and may it wipe out all the darkness.

A Good Start

"You're So Beautiful" by James BLunt plays onn....love this song. Its a much better song than what i sang in my last post. I was so encouraged when 'You' called. I didnt expect anybody to care what i wrote. I just wanted to express myself. But this morning i woke up and i hear a fren's voice and there 'Hey!' I find that a New Day has come and whatever happened yesterday or the days back were never gonna come back again. Its over and i shouldn't dwell in the past. There were some things that i 'missed' and i was missing it and i was sad because things were not as before. But thinking over what was running in my head... i know Today is a new day. And a NEW YEAR! So why should i torture myself with memories that won't repeat itself? Sad yesterday but Happy Today. Life is like that. Everyday is a new day!

Wake up in the New Morning and have a Good Start!

Take up the Bed Covers and Rise, smell the New Day. Smile and Thank the Lord for the Sun!

Beautiful People are everywhere!

love you all ....May... ---,<@

Blue Skies...Nothing but Blue Skies...

I am trap in this world without hope.
Sometimes feeling as if i'm the one making things turn bad
I run away as there seems to be ... more than i could be expected of.
Silent and shy and i couldnt face the world on my own....
Will i ever perish. I checked the stars and they stood silent...
Not a word... nor an answer i seek...
How i wish i was the angels...floating in the skies... only one reason to live and only God to know all my hearts contents.

I trust that if i'm tested... i'll know the answers...........but.......but.....
Will the season come now? will the hope revive now? Where will the stars shine for me?
How far to the darkness will i see the morning Star... then will i find my way... to the deepest meaning of it all.

I sight a slightest glimpse of joy.... but i dare not peep in.
I long for a change but when change came i shield myself again.
What is this i am? What have i put thoughts in my head....
Will i be like the midst in the sky.... clouding my dreams and hiding my tears...
Where can i be.......where do i see.....

Tears will never end....laughter not so real.
Smiles do not come by chance.
I hear with deaf ears...my mind has kept me inside so long that i couldnt bear....
Love has got to do with it ......all.....
The story never ends... the leads will go on...

{ This isn't a poem....This is a song i sing....how poor is the state of my soul....)