Friday, April 22, 2005

Ladies and Gentlemen.....

You are about to be bombarded with postings of Gracel.....get ready.....

Wow weeeee!!!!!!!!!!! i just finished my 3rd paper! not very confident in this one though, compared to the last two... but hoping i wont have to stay back in the isle for a resit.... [Oh Lord, puh-lease.........]

With my arms wide enough to hug a hippo,i welcome fellow bloggers and my dearest frens and family! Welcome Welcome Welcome Abby, Corn, Beebs and ahmayz (who?)!

12/4/05 " the heavenly man"

For this whole week, I will be writing from my personal computer, my ever-faithful apple.
[Lord, thank you for this gift�K]

A moment�Kheck! Wasn��t this week supposed to be my study week for my finals??!! Well yea a moment away to do some write up wont kill right? I thought I would just put my experiences of my final year semester study break in here. *smiles :)

The week began with hiccups as expected. A lot of pushing of myself to chew on the notes and articles and books needed to score the paper. International Business Environment. Managed to read a whole chapter but not quite finished with the power point slides last nite (mon). I wonder and I start to think, plan and be anxious, will I be able to finish reading all I need to score in this paper? In fact, am I thinking of scoring? Last SEM, final paper. I need to raise my CGPA. I need this.
[Lord, help me�K]

[Tues, today]
I woke at 10am, what a pig�K but forgivable, I slept at 3am last nite. The streamxy lady called. Wanted to install in my house back in PG. I said im only back in May! Well will see how, asked my dad about it, hadn��t received any reply from him as yet. Afterwards, inspiration came for a poetic moment�K. here goes�K

�� When life hangs a milestone on you, trust Him, He cares for you.
When you fish and there isn��t, trust Him, fish the other side..
When love turns on you, trust Him, Jesus came for you.��

Not very wordy I hope, but I still feel it could have been better. Such thoughts help me reflect on life itself, my past and what the future would have been without God.

Took up the book ��The heavenly man�� by Paul Hattaway, and started reading to begin the day. Promised myself that I��ll try to read a book a month, taking it as a good habit and a way to improve my mind. Anyways, it was a book I bought for mom for mother��s day in advance. She knows about it but I cant give her till May when I return home. So I��ll read it first. Heard that it was a good book and would like to invest my money and have it as owned and not borrowed. :)(Thank you Jessey for offering to lend me yours).

Only read the forewords and preface, not that I lost interest, but I need to get back to studying, having spent 15mins in writing this�K:) here��s something that interest me�K

��If you give God the right to yourself, he will make a holy experiment out of you. God��s experiments always succeed.��- Oswald Chambers.

[ Lord I belief�K]

10:04pm 14/4/05
Currently listening to ��Your love is better than life�� by Skillet.

Life is in fact better, knowing that God loves you. The One who made me and gave me my name. I don��t need flowers to make me happy, I know my father loves me. ��He keeps me alive�� =) As I recall, I have recently learn to ��Let Go�� something I had taken onto myself and putting ��that�� down and letting God love me, helped me to begin to focus on the Cross and none others.

"Emotions and a wondering mind,
None of which will bring you anywhere.
Laughter and ridiculous chatter,
Shows a joy so unreal within the heart."

May I say, ��Stop wandering, stop imitating, and stop pretending.��
But ��Start listening, start remembering, start receiving, and start acting.��

��If you are walking in darkness,
Without a ray of light,
Trust in the Lord
And rely on your God.
But watch out, you who live in your own light
And warm yourselves by your own fires.
This is the reward you will receive from me:
You will soon fall down in great torment.��

{�KIsaiah 50:10-11�KNLT}

This week can be said to be self-reflecting, and self-edifying. Had been studying, reading the Bible, additional readings (The Heavenly Man & The Purpose Driven Life), making my time at home here not wasted I hope. The stories had been compelling, and the teachings are helping me understand the Father better. This time around, instead of looking at others, or waiting to be served or attention seeking, I felt contented and satisfied, coz God came to fill that gap. I too wanted to feel the hunger for His word and His plan in my life. And that��s my prayer.

MY Bro and his team of 9 are coming down to Malaysia. I��m so excited! I told him that I��d be joining them on their Sabah trip. Dad and Mom approves of it. I��m glad, but I also know that there are some uncertainties. Pls do pray for the team together with me, for:-
More than Enough Funds for flight tickets to Sabah, (already booked)
More than enough funds to live in Malaysia and spend and to even give it out.
Transportation,(e.g a van so that they can go to their place of ministry.)
Unity and ability to adapt to new environment
Plans to go according to God��s will.

Thank you for supporting in prayer. I belief the Lord will surely blessYou and Your family too :)
18/4/05 2:30am ��The day has become night, the night has become day.��

So often I am unaware of the time and that lead to misconceptions and the feel of just ��flying�� by. Saturday morning I woke up fresh thinking it was 8:30am, while it was in fact 1:30pm! Terrible! My dear clock had tricked me! I rolled and rolled and continued to slumber till my back aches. I wondered, what is the matter? Its only 8:30am and the curtains were drawn; tricking me it was still early.

It was 10:30pm on Sunday, when I couldn��t open my eyes. A thin line appeared where it was once my usual round bright eyes. Ahh�Kthe night is still young but I have not the strength to read on. There are 6 chapters remaining of International Business Environment. I fell into deep sleep with my teddy beside me.

The night before I had been so engrossed with the book ��the heavenly man��. Many times the Lord had spared the life of His servants. But the man ��Yun�� in China had had to endure terrible sufferings for the sake of Christ. His own Christian brothers in Hubei forsook him without a blanket out in the icing cold. He endured horrible tortures and was despised by other criminals in prison. He became a being not recognizable to his mother and wife. Frail, skinny, bonny, beaten, tortured, blood and sweat matted together, disfigured by extensive electrocution.

The stories told were not just an imaginary state of the mind, it was the real sufferings and persecutions of a man called to serve the Lord. In my mind, fear cripped in. Fear of the many sufferings that will come my way for standing up for Jesus. How horrible or terrible the sufferings I dared not think. I am petrified.

But His Word endures forever! Throughout the many sufferings he went through while spreading the good news of the salvation of Christ, the Lord repeatedly strengthened and restores him through His Words from the Bible. Each time he wanted to give up, the verses he memorized surfaced to encourage him. The Holy Spirit became his only friend and comfort. He was determined to die for the sake of Christ! But to those who gambled on his life, they lost, as the Lord sustained him and did the impossible.
He lived in prison 74days without food or water.

��Let Your will be done and not mine�� �V Jesus said. (Matthew 27:42, Mark 14:36, Luke 22:41)

I was deep in thought the whole day. Shaken and challenged by this man of God. Living night and day running away from authorities seeking to kill him for preaching the gospel to the whole of China. What am I Lord? I am but nothing compared to him. I am but nothing compared to Jesus Christ who suffered for my sins. I am but nothing.

��If you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple.��- these are the words of Jesus in Luke 14:27.
[Lord, help me understand.]

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