Monday, July 25, 2005

Putting thoughts to work....

Today, I went to help paint some chairs at church. Well...u could have think what is a graduate doing painting chairs like an odd-job worker...well trust me i thought of that! haha.... odd jobs? why not! well at least at the end of the day... u have tried a few jobs and then u'll know what u really am interested to do eventually...hmm...maybe thats not exactly true......

Putting thoughts to work...i was reading a magazine about missionaries from Malaysia in countries in Nepal, Cambodia and Mongolia. its kinda encouraging to hear their thoughts and experiences. i find that these people are called by God to reach out to people beyond their world...sometimes its difficult but they just obey and follow. i'm thinking, when is my turn? hah!
I believe God puts us to training. He puts us in difficult, painful, and lonely situatons. why? why the training? Is God unfair? Is God playing with us? Like when He dislikes us He puts us in these situations to laugh at us when we cry? Oh...common...what are u thinking? Is God like that? or are we just narrowing our ideas and perceptions of God?

He trains me, so that i dont cry when i see uglier situations...He wants me to be ready... and who knows what may come. He doesnt actually leaves me alone to solve the problems, He guides me and tells me where i go wrong. He sometimes lets me do what i want eventhough i may not be right, just so that i learn i am not always right. He gives me bosses and authority over me, so that i can learn to listen, to respect, learn by imitating sometimes, learn by doing...and etc. Most importantly, learn to ask God for help...which is Depending on Him.=)

I thought of what i wanted to do... paint my room, get rid of all the unnecessary rubbish in my room, start making things using recycling material, make space for space...make myself expose to all things arty and not stop thinking what i am interested in. Do i really need a job just for the sake of getting an income ? even though i dont like it? or would i rather spend my time doing something that i like and enjoy eventhough i may or may not get a salary? i like option 2, but do i have te choice? hmmm...putting my thoughts to work may seem dreammy....but i was challenge to dream and to tell people my dream so that it'll come through. I hve yet to master that. Telling people what i want to do is hard. I have a problem doing that. Its a problem of whther they will understand me,its a problem of believing in your dreams and telling people that u do with enthusiasm. I wish i could learn to do something artistic with a good master. how artistic am i? i'm not too much...but i want to be.

Dreams aside....i managed to have an evening walk with my mom at Bukit Dumbar this evening. walk walk walk... talk talk talk... out of a sudden, i suggested to sit at a swing which was usually occupied by someone at any other time. but that time it wasn't! What good we went and was about to sit down when mom saw a Wallet....Her eyes got the cuckoo bird look, a little shock and didnt know what to do.we didnt know whose it was. so we sat there...and i was just looking...for the man who left his wallet. Later a man arrived and claimed his belonging, offering to spend us for the safe kept of his wallet, but of course we decline. Later, Mom was saying, 'We shouldnt have decided to sit on the swing~!' Dear must have been the Holy Spirit initiating us to sit there today so that this man can have his wallet back! i mean...if it weren't us,it could have been someone else who might ripped off the man's money~. so Praise the LORD! He saved the day =)

P/s : Tomorrow is my mom's birthday...planning to get her a cake =)

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

On the Field No More~!

Guys, how have u been?
Made any new amendments to your lifetime goals? Have u pondered why u are doing what u are doing?
These questions came into my mind these few days.

Last week as some of u might know...i started training with a very talented bunch of people in a budding marketing firm. It was a challege rite from the beginning. Remember i told u i went for a 'field evaluation'? well...what i didnt expect is to expect that into my common work description for a couple of months! and not days! Yes.. it includes working long full hours of what turned out to be from 11am to 11pm. I tried it out for a week and i got a very bad response from my family and also myself. What are the feedbacks?
1. My work required me to go house-to-house sales, i got darker.
2. I have no basic salary and entirely based on commission. Although it is high but whats the use if u cant getanyone to sign?
3. I still do house to house in the nite till 930pm, which is dangerous.
4. My parents miss my face. They go to work at 8am and i sleep till 10am...get back when they wanto sleep at 11pm.
5. AM i willing to give up my current relationships with ppl to full-time working for a future yet unknown?

What i learned the last full week.
1. Trust in The Lord always... u can never trust anyone else with your life!
2. Making available time for the Lord is rewarding!.... so much more satisfying !
3. Being able to say 'No'to the things we think we understand and putting our dependance on God.
4. Openned my mind towards what ppl would do to get you out of the house.
5. Being a Christian first before anything else!
6. Getting to know some beautiful areas in Penang where beautiful needy ppl stay. When i say needy means, they need the Lord! I'm talking about places where some community are so nice and yet some are soo terrified and rude.
7. Getting a 'No' in front of your face is actually an opportunity for u to get a 'Yes' in the future.
8. Making connection with people. Especially with the people u work with and the people you meet for a moment.
9. Drawing knowledge from some ppl but grasping the wisdom from God to make wise decisions.
10. Expressing myself to the Father, by not stopping to pray.
11. Asking the Lord for strength when i couldnt anymore.
12. Relief when i made a decision based on the Word of God.
13. Recognizing i need a spiritual family and relationship more than wealth
14. Acknowledgingthe fact that i want to be a Kingdom Builder than a Wealth Maker!

and many more.......i'mstill learning....
and yes i finalyy decided to quit the training yesterday and spend the day gardening with my mom and gma. it was rewarding. then iwent to Bible Study with my mom.
The topic was HUMILITY!

Proverbs 22:4 - True Humilty and Fear of the Lord lead to riches , honor and long life.

So what ami worried about? i dont need money to be happy. i dont think wealth satisfies me~ i just want to do something i enjoy and pleases God.

1Tim 4:8
Physicial training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come!

See what God says? 1 Tim 4:12 - Dont let anyone think less of you bcoz u are young. be an example to all beleievers in what you say, live ,love, fatih and purity.
I may give up an opportunity of pursuing wealth but i belief my rewards are better than money itself. coz Money is the root of evil. (1 Tim 6 :10) and Your trust should be in the Lord, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment! (1Tim 6: 17)

I rest my case... you can never fight the Bible, The Word of God.
I Put my hopein Him always.

Monday, July 11, 2005

A day at a time�K

The previous week was tiring, challenging, surprising, mixed of emotions and to sum it all, its been Bizarre! I wish I had more time to reflect back my week. So here I am writing to tell you�K One day at a time�K

Sometimes when we rush through things�K with so little time to reflect back,it really saps your spirit out. This was what happened to me. I got through to 2nd interview that required house-to-house salesmanship thingi and it was by God��s grace I completed the ��field evaluation�� with quite high colors. All thanks to the Lord��s training in all those camps and mission trips I��ve been. I thankthe Lord that He was my personal trainerJ

Final interview was just relaxed and free. I got selected for 2weeks advance training before they will decide to fully employ me. For your info, it��s a marketing firm and after the final interview, I had been feeling soar and sad.Why? Well I still haven found out y.It was by God��s grace that I managed to be selected as the final few but my feelings were getting harsh on me. I needed to be comforted. i was sad and quiet.

A final answer to my prayer came when a fren invited my family over to his grandmother��s place in Pengkalan hulu, Perak. It was a blessing in disguise for all of us. I may not know exactly what others had been feeling that week but this little retreat really brought us out for a fun filled weekend. We had durians for lunch and dinner and free flow of rambutans and langsat. It was a fruit haven!!! My family and I and a close fren even drove over to Betong, Thailand for a makan-makan excursion! Haha�K it was great.

And today�Kwe tried to find the waterfall and saw the opening of Gendang Cave and we ended up by a stream in a rubber estate eating Durian again! I even got a chance to ride behind a mini jip all along the rubber plantations�Kstanding up! AWESOME!!!

Ok� i had fun today�K but I still worry about tomorrow. I start my training at 9.30am. my other days starts at 12-9pm. Cool ? haha�K. Will let ya know if it is cool.
But one thing that kept me going was the Word of GOD. I managed to get myself together to ask the Lord for forgiveness and to ask Him to lead me in this new job. He gave me Galatians 6. Each verse spoke so much as if it was meant for me as I start work. And I m deeply blessed because God revealed this to me. All glory to GOD!


Saturday, July 02, 2005

Step by step - - - *

Today...suddenly everyone else is out of the house. My cousin and aunty left after staying for one nite. My sick uncle's fren left this morning back to KL. My dad leaves to Thailand for a snorkeling trip and my Ah Sok leaves tomorrow for Cameron. WOW its like suddenly everyone is here and then everyone is gone for the weekend.....

How is my day like? Well today it was better....a blessing from God that it was a peaceful day. To Worship God is a choice. Last week the church went through the Purpose of Life, phase 2- WORSHIP. this week we were suppose to have FELLOWSHIP. i told myself that if i needed to go out and be a LIFE testimony and be an active Christian, i must be a part of a body of Christ. So i went for Cell Group.

A little afraid, a little curious who will be there. but i kinda know the CG Leader so i just went. i pray that i can fit in. The group was mostly young adults with children and babies. Oh well..... it was ok.... got cute babies to look at... and young ppl to hear thier experiences. i pray Lord.....i hope i still get along in the group....and it went on fine in the end...GIVE THANKS to JESUS.....i just love the prayer moment...although it was very quiet...i knew it was a good time. To pray for all the mothers and to know that mothers too have struggles and lack of faith.

I send in my resume for a Graduate trainee position today. I chose Tues 5th July for interview...i hope it'll be an eye openner and the LORD to be with me coz i dunno where it is yet. Thank You Lord in Advance!

So why step by step>?
Step by step because He leads me step by step. Nobody is a better teacher than He is.
First it was the Anger Management Class, Now the Trust Him course and this i believe will take a long time to master.
I trust that Love of the Father is made perfect in Us when we choose to love the people that hurt us and make them our friends than our enemies.

So how about you? ready to take the STEP BY STEP course? Its just right at your door. If you answer it, you must remember it aint' an easy course but you can be sure a Hand will guide you always.

A trainee for Christ first!