Saturday, December 31, 2005

Blue Skies...Nothing but Blue Skies...

I am trap in this world without hope.
Sometimes feeling as if i'm the one making things turn bad
I run away as there seems to be ... more than i could be expected of.
Silent and shy and i couldnt face the world on my own....
Will i ever perish. I checked the stars and they stood silent...
Not a word... nor an answer i seek...
How i wish i was the angels...floating in the skies... only one reason to live and only God to know all my hearts contents.

I trust that if i'm tested... i'll know the answers...........but.......but.....
Will the season come now? will the hope revive now? Where will the stars shine for me?
How far to the darkness will i see the morning Star... then will i find my way... to the deepest meaning of it all.

I sight a slightest glimpse of joy.... but i dare not peep in.
I long for a change but when change came i shield myself again.
What is this i am? What have i put thoughts in my head....
Will i be like the midst in the sky.... clouding my dreams and hiding my tears...
Where can i be.......where do i see.....

Tears will never end....laughter not so real.
Smiles do not come by chance.
I hear with deaf mind has kept me inside so long that i couldnt bear....
Love has got to do with it ......all.....
The story never ends... the leads will go on...

{ This isn't a poem....This is a song i poor is the state of my soul....)

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Merry Christmas Everybody!!!

Hello hai.... happy seasons here!!! i'm soooo glad its holiday and its sharing time =)
Love you all around the world! May every breeze and wind blows to show you love and may the sun shines to let you know of God's unchanging love.

I'm doing last minute wrappings...hoping that everyone gets a present... Christmas is gonna be great!!!

Heavy rain now...hope it doesnt dampen the Christmas spirit yeah? it isnt for me... smile and hugs....

love from Grace.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

You will make it through~

To my dear friends.... whose birthdays have just passed or coming round the corner... its gonna be another year older for you and Me, but like a Dear Friend said...its a year older and a year wiser...Let us never look back but mature to touch the skies!
WE sometimes fall and we sometimes hit the night but somehow a 'Light' will shine ahead of us and we will again touch the stars this time!

I was being grumpy, solemn and sulking over a special day that went uneventful, but it took me 2days to realize... everyday is a day of how'd you look at it. It can 'be' when you want it to 'be' and you can make a difference in it if you want it too... Not everyone is there to make your day....trying to make another persons' day is as much satisfying. This is a secret that humble and serving people keep in thier hearts...The joy of seeing someone smile is Priceless... The thrill in hearing laughter because of what you said is sustaining.... and the The thought of how God would want to show His love through you is why not? Make someone's day everyday...and when come Christmas... everyone around you will be more blessed than ever with love and care and suprises.

Cheers always and HAPPY BIRTHDAY my friends!

Monday, December 19, 2005

Lonely Christmas...

Will it ever come? Will Christmas come?
But if it comes...where wil i be? how will it be? Where is God?

You know, you dont have to be alone this Christmas. Catch it while its still in season. Cause it will come with Hope and Love. Christmas will never be the same again for you. You know u've been called many times to go to the place where they sing and dance and laugh and enjoy each other. They celebrate something more than Christmas lights and Santa Claus. Y dont you join them this year? because They have a message for you...and i cant tell you now... bcoz everything has its season and time. and unless you go for it, you'll never know what Special Gift they have for you at the door.

If it is time for you to open that 'wardrobe' and walk in, dont be afraid if u touch something cold and pricky... Christmas will have been already been there for you with a warm cup of 'coco'or milo. Smile and be ready... coz its not going to be a lonely Christmas...because when u believe...Christmas it will happen in your heart.

A Christmas party this 24th December awaits u and your family at

Hall 1, Grd Floor,Masyarakat Penyayang Complex, Penang.
9pm to 12am

Remember, smart casual with jeans and a bag ready for Gifts!!!

Special enquiries are met by Wai Kuan at 016-4335710 and the ever ready chat box on your right.
Hope to see you there!

Saturday, December 17, 2005

My Birthday today!

Its my birthday today! and i'm not ashame to tell everyone! Aih... Was God ashame when He created me? Nope! he was Proud of me! Coz He loved all his Creation! and He is still proud of me! and i'm so glad He has always been my Father, Provider, Shoulder to cry on, Ear to speak to and helping hand when i'm in my silent need.

Just to say this year was such a blessing to me... Blessings came over the short falls...and its because Of God Himself!
From high jumps to slow bumps... its nevr an adventure without God to lead the path. I mean really... if you do reflection on your days... yourealize...its the blessings,joy and happy things that ring more in your thoughts than horrible things. And you'd always wan to remember the good things. And i know... thats God special gift to us,,,, To remember the Good Things He has done for us. And occasionally, sometimes... we remember the old sad stories... but are they resolved yet? Hasn't it become the past? but why do we remember them? bcoz we want to make beter decisions than we did before and we want to make the future better than what was before rite? So isn't that something God has given us?Self-improvement. Something that God Himself does... "He looks at His Creation and said it was Good."


Sunday, December 04, 2005

Colours of Seoul City

The ladies are from my mom's church.

~The Beautiful girl beside me is Judy a Korean who was our guide round Yoido bookstore and foreigner's briefing. It was a good toilet view from the church, to capture a picture of the church parking lot!Notice the river and the brigde...good view eh? hehe .

Next pic, the traffic here is well organised despite the high population of people and cars...notice the beautiful yellow 'Gingko' trees! Nex pic's background shows 3 churches with their crosses up on pinacles. When its nite can see the town covered with red crosses, many small churches scattered all around like the Love of Christ!

If you had read my blog on 14th Nov, you'd know i went shopping. I fancy the hats and high socks! If i'd stayed in Seoul, i'd buy lots! =)

Yoido Full Gospel Church

GReetinGs EarthLings! I'm Back smack(!) on the turtle island. Promised you i'll share with you my pictures and stories. The plane rides were not too nice long hours...but worth it for the Pictures yea?!
The Yoido Full Gospel Church was awesome! Together with mom and fren we had a nice Korean man to take this great pic for us. No cameras are allowed in the church. It is a strictly organised and respected place! Once a service is over the next group of people will be waiting to go in..5mins thats all it takes!...ushers are these good men in white.
It was mid-autumn, so i caught this 3 trees as 'bald', one still bushy green and another turning yellow. i just love it!

Monday, November 14, 2005

Sec n third day in Korea

0730 we left prayer mountain for Yoido Full Gospel Church, Seoul. We attended the second service..(approx.30,000 ppl) They have 7 services on sunday...with many overflow chapels....(aprox 121 chapels)worshipping together...along with life telecast worldwide...64,000 elders...and so on to what i recall at the foreigners briefing... they have a building -8 floors recently renovated to cater for sunday school only! AWESOME man~ They have fantastic worship..choirs and symphony ochestra with the huge pipe organs~!ahh but i couldnt get any pictures.. it is not respectful to do so. As soon as the service is over the nex group of people are seen waiting in rows to enter as soon as the people come out. Within 5mins the transition is over. The ushers, men in white coats and ladies in Korean traditional dresses usher the people in order and they bow as the people leave.

After service...we visited the bookstore, lots of souvenirs, all cramp in a small lot. Mom bought two pictures of Christ as the Shepherd and the Kingdom of HEaven..something like that...then we ate silk worms! it was tasty...and salty...however too much was yucky... it was said to be good for health. They sell it everywhere!

Nex we had Ginseng Chicken for was good...boiling soup with chicken stuffed with rice and ginseng with noodles to go with..."Slurp!Slurp!Slurp! it was good for the cold weather. Freezing temperature rise to 10 C. We had good kimchi and rice wine...that almost knock me off. haha.... :)

WE head off the PheongYung Market and the DongdaeMun Market... we went on a shopping spree...expensive.. rates are like x4! but most stuff were for winter...not applicable for us...Lots of people and barang...Consider this... Whole Malaysia is approx 21 million... and Seoul itself the size of Singapore, has a population of 21 million! Alot of condominiums everywhere~ and bridges across the Han River...that divides the Seoul city to North and South. We tooks lotsa pics.. will post them nex time.

Nex stop was Namdaemun market for 1hour shopping. didnt buy anything. it caters for the local koreans. We then left for dinner- Korean BBQ dinner at Itaewon district which is where all the embassies are located and where all branded stuff are sold. High class district. BBQ was awesome! With hot charcoal to bbq, and delicoius kimchi, seaweed and korean starchy rice.

WE came back to Prayer mountain 930pm. tired and out.The way back, the city of Seoul was colourfully lighted and with red crosses identifying churches.In one area you can see 1-5 red crosses. it was awesome... the thought that Christ covers the city. man.... beautifull...

The bridges...Penang Bridge compared to fight lah... the lighting here are fabulous. We slept at 12am.

Nex day 4am...we went for 5am prayer service. COLD!!!!! freezing to the bones~ the worship was full of OUMH! Koreans really pray out loud and call on the name of "Jee Ya!" @ Jesus three times before praying in tongues every now and then. The Koreans sleep in the sanctuary where there is a heated floorboard. They just wake up and worship God there. We joined in. The sanctuary is designed like Noah's Ark.

The canteen serves 3 types of food. 1. Rice (Chap fan) 2. Noodle soup and 3. Porridge with soup. Warms our stomach. we had our own service at 10am to 12pm. The weather was 15 C. Lunch was maggie in my cup and bread and bahu and sambai habi..brought from Penang... haha... and we dooze for the noon nap right to evening diiner at 6pm. 7pm was the evening service....was good... though no interpretation we enjoyed the worship...pray and sing in tongues as the Korean language sounded like it to us. it was beautiful. we stayed on to pray after service..till the Koreans snuggle in their sleeping bags.

Back to our room at 1030pm....supper and out again to the Grottoes. Cubicles dug out in a hill just enough for one person to pray inside. It is very private and full of anointing! They have new ones fitted with heaters and bigger for family too. We finished our prayer at 1am... the temp. was 3 C!

Ok goodnite... this post was co-editted by my mom and i. hehe...

Saturday, November 12, 2005

I'm finally heRE!!!!!

YUpps... finally i reached KOREA!!! its been awesome,... the fresh cool took us like say 14 hours plus transit time to reach here. we had breakfast,lunch and dinner on air...with the thai airlines..pretty cool flight crew and splendid food! haha.... cramp sits though... but towards the end manage to catch War of the Worlds on the network tv on flight. hehehe..creppy...

the travelling was one thing...but tomorrow.. we visit the Yoido Chrurch pastored by Ps. of the biggest church in Seoul,Korea. Anyways..i'm stayingat thiss place at Prayer Mountain called the House of Love. Next tous is the Prayer hall thats shaped like an Ark,.. noahs'ark? hehe

anyways...i thought there will be no internet connection here... but i'm glad i can have time to blog...before the others use the comp... only two computers here. I cant upload the pics now.. coz i haven takenmuch pics yet...but as soon as i'm back k!

and yes daddy...if you read this....we are safely here in Korea...~~~!!!its 10cc in Seoul town... and 8cc on the prayer mountain. the weather as the guide says... will drop to -2 to -10 cc in the mornings and evenings. Itsnot snowing here :( and the leaves are just beginning to fall... so we are intime for fall and not winter yet.

tomorrow...i'llcheckif i canhave time to post somethinginteresting k...i pray that God will be speaking to me and not my wretched mind thinking rubbish all the time like always... hehe...good nite...timehere is one hour faster.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

I'm going...

Yes..I'm going somewhere and i wont be back. No i wont be back... coz its far and i cant be reached. I wont be taking my baby apple. I wont be connceted. Its the best... Its the right thing to do. i cant possibly add more weight on my back and miss having fun...the mp3 sings... " There wont be white flag above my window..." I won' t be in from 12-19nov.

Surrendering time and skipping away i will... the plane flies high above the clouds where possiblities becomes my dream. In search of treasures that prayers can only find. Skirts and blouses, trinkets and bangles...shine and dazzle not for me but for the one i pray for. Tales i will come back with...Pictures will share my journey.

A tale was told everynight where a father carries his child fast alseep onto a comfortable bed. Let those tears dry, let those fears be forgotten coz the father's arms holds him dearly. Though the child knows he is being carried, yet he couldnt' open his eyes. Tired and exhausted, he knows in his father's arms, he is safe. I love you dad ---<@

Monday, October 31, 2005

Things that happen to us...

Never once were they intended to be wasted. I was reminded today... that experiences make a person. The Astro Chinese International Pageant which was live on astro last friday...popped this question to five finalist. " In making a difficult decision, which would you base your final decisions on? Experience or Talent?" Many of the beauty queens made Experience their choice. I do agree with most of them. The answer doesn't weights more on either side but it bases on your reasoning i suppose. I think experience builds the character of the person. I believe much that who you are and how you make decisions are mostly made through the journeys we each go through. But of course you can argue with that. Your talents, meaning what you are good at.... doesn't always mean the situation actually needs it. So how do we conclude?

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Amazing Love Anew

Amazing Love.....How can it Be....
Amazing Love....I know its True...
Its my Joy to Honour You..
Amazing Love.... How can it be
That you, my King would Die for me...

Holy Spirit rain down...
Rain Down.....

Let your Power fall, let Your Voice be heard
Come and change our hearts as we stand on your Words..
Holy Spirit rain down.....

Lord, be my strength... Let it be that my heart be Yours to rule
Let it be that the passion not die...but forever on flames for You.
Lord...let tiredness and unsubmissiveness be drown in Love Anew
For in You no amount of it shall prevail!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Visual Pattern Fluid Intelligence Test Results

This is suppose to be another test i took. how true is this online tests??? or are they just fakes?

Sir Francis Galton, the cousin of Charles Darwin, first popularized the notion of measurable intelligence in the late 1800s. Charles Spearman later discovered that all mental abilities tend to correlate together when statistically analyzed. He called this G. Modern researchers tend to agree that there are two kinds of intelligence, crystallized intelligence (learned knowledge) and fluid intelligence (abstract processing ability). Most non-verbal intelligence tests measure the latter. Some research suggests that fluid intelligence may correlate best to G.

Your overall percentile is 10% which means you scored higher than 10% of the people who have taken this test. The internet population tends to be more intelligent so your percentile might be higher if the test taking sample was perfectly random. Keep in mind, taking this test more than once will render your percentile score inaccurate because the percentile score assumes these questions were fresh to the test taker.

The point of this test is to challenge you and show you how you compare to other test takers on a set of novel questions. Consequently, I need to keep the answers secret to protect the integrity of the test.
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||| 43%
Stability |||||||||||||||| 63%
Orderliness |||||||||| 36%
Accommodation |||||||||||| 43%
Interdependence |||||||||||||||| 63%
Intellectual |||||||||||| 50%
Mystical |||||||||||||| 56%
Artistic |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Religious |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Hedonism || 10%
Materialism |||||||||||| 43%
Narcissism |||||||||| 36%
Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 63%
Work ethic |||||||||||| 43%
Self absorbed |||||||||||||| 56%
Conflict seeking || 10%
Need to dominate |||||| 23%
Romantic |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 50%
Anti-authority |||||||||||| 43%
Wealth |||||| 30%
Dependency |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Change averse |||||||||||||| 56%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||||| 63%
Individuality |||||||||||| 50%
Sexuality |||||| 30%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||| 43%
Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Physical Fitness |||||||||||||||| 70%
Histrionic |||||||||||| 50%
Paranoia |||||||||| 36%
Vanity |||||||||||||| 56%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||| 56%
Female cliche |||||||||||||||| 70%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by

Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

trait snapshot:

messy, tough, disorganized, fearless, not rule conscious, likes the unknown, rarely worries, rash, attracted to the counter culture, rarely irritated, positive, resilient, abstract, not a perfectionist, risk taker, strange, weird, self reliant, leisurely, dangerous, anti-authority, trusting, optimistic, positive, thrill seeker, likes bizarre things, sarcastic

Well you can give this test a shot... and sometimes... it may be true what they define you to be... at least i can connect with some of the trait snapshots...

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Someone Who Believes in You!

I had a 'self-horrid' day to say the least. I shocked myself when at one point close to closing time, three customers came to open six accounts!My bad... i was not prepared for such overwhelming request. I took it all to myself and did not ask for help till i panicked and caused such an outburst of anger and frustration from within. Then it was feelings of embarassment and reluctantness to accept rebuke. I confess i was a fool!

A situation like this makes me think. I need to be able to handle it the nex time. The Lord has always brought me through different experiences to shape me and teach me. Sometimes the experiences repeats itself because i had not learn. I drove home, and thoughts begin to make some sense. I wonder to myself, will anyone hide herself into a world of fairies to forget the mundane life of reality itself? Only 'nuts' do that? I think i may not be the only one. We go into our own 'dream worlds' when nobody in reality really understands us. We need someone to understand us, much more someone to believe in us.

I review that i was always my best when Someone believed in me. I could try and try harder to achieve it because that someone has given me hope. Hope to believe that i could do it, not alone but with the faith that that someone has placed in me. We call that Someone a Friend, Buddy and Pal. We get on with our lives because we know that that Someone is with us going through sometimes the same thing. We go by thinking of that Someone, because we in turn want to give back hope and faith to him. Then sometimes, that Someone will also dream with you, and be the first to show you how to achieve it. He plans with you, gives you advice and says the very least..."You can do it!"

REaching the stars becomes less unbearable and life becomes more colourful than the rainbow after a rainy sunny day. We take each others hearts and tell it to the stars...that we shouldn't be afraid of the dark....but because the new day will soon come. We give each other hope. and Best yet... God gives us hope. Hold His hand and sometimes...He puts another hand into yours...thats when its your turn to "Believe in that someone, just like Someone had believed in you."

Monday, October 03, 2005

BOulalala.....haven been caught dead ever!

Gosh!...guess what happen to me? I got the most cheap offer i couldnt resist while shopping for a fren's birthday present...70% for all clothes ranging from RM79.90 to RM33. so have you taken your calculator out yet? Shopping freaks... its an excellent offer rite? Omigosh.... i almost made myself a "dodo" in front of the sales promoter, i kept asking her if the prizes were already discounted... and she told me YES! YES! YES!...three times!.... and i apologized for i never ever stumbled upon such a good offer as this....besides, i fit in most of the clothes i tried on, and thus far couldnt but bought all 8pieces! but to think it as a blessing or temptation? I prayed for a good offer and price for a girlfrens' pressie and i got more than it! Smack in the face! offers good and decisions made. I couldnt draw a line between a wise choice or a careless fall to temptation but all i know is... i gotta spend wisely from now on.... "sucks my thumb..." and mind u it wasn't a bad word i'm saying here.... i'm really sucking my poor thumb... i injured my poor accident prone thumb again... and it was all because of a stapler...tried to pull d stapler out of the paper and hurt my nail... so its got internal bleedding quite a bit...a black spot in the middle... and my thumb is sore again...

But a sore thumb reminds me of God's presence when i hurt my thumb back in May by the car door... i miss Him lots! It was one of the most 'strainess pain enduring period of my time'. Man... it was all God's timing and training...i mean it... i never regretted one bit of the dumb incident of me putting my thumb where the door slams... it is impossible to forget...because many things followed after that and i miss all that. What is it?... My dear frens... i got closed to many but it was always soon for goodbyes...but i hope we never loose touch and so be it with our passion for Christ! ( know who you are) and of course there;s my ever caring housemates... that i absolutely miss very much too... miss all the fun at 'our' home.. and really thank you all for the care you gave me...I miss ya all!

Okok dears... i gotta go packing into bed... its unwise to sleept late and all the unwanted gems starts to pop up...hehe until then....A nites rest is a nites dream...will share with you about last sundays' message of "I have a dream!"

Friday, September 30, 2005

I want more than ROSES!

Days a bland.... we Can become negative and sour. But its a choice to change that mood of yours!Thats why i wanted more than Roses could give and gentleness.I decided that i should do something with my 'bland' day. So i remembered a clip of "Patch Adams" playing on StarWorld Tv while at lunch... I decided to dish out my "Patch Adams vcd" from the loot of vcds under the all till the last album. I had decided that i'l need something to influence me positively. And it certainly did.

The movie had many a values that serves true. We gotta improve the way of Life...or our Health... and i checked out his website at "Patch Adams"... speaks of a real man with a real ball of passion and flame.I mean truly...People is what that matters than machine or system or rule! People are important. God loves people. WE are the same, just different in our experiences and surroundings. I liked one part of the movie where he said..." All those people who are patients are doctors too. Each of them take part in taking care of another person. A doctor takes care, treats, listens to someone in need." And thats exactly what we all could do! Man...dont you think we can improve the quality of Life by just making someone else happy? How does "excessive happiness" sound to you?

I'm reminded too that we are human beings, we go through a course of ups and downs,no denial of it. I remember that in those times of downs, i ask for a special grace from God so that i can smile for the whole day. And i know God's grace and love shined through me=). Give thanks and make a merry, cause no one really hates happiness long enough not to be infected by your smile and kindness. If you think u have not enough to share your love around, be like me,ask from God a little love and be of little faith.

I love roses. What bout you? :)

Monday, September 26, 2005

The ugly side of human nature...

Its been Just two days and the weekend is over~! Boy i miss my days as a student...days seem to pass on slower and more meaningful then.

In my mind, the human nature produces so many questions and yet so little answers. Today, i witness my very own human kind showing more of the unexplanainable nature. "Why does man get angry?" A man shouts at a woman for her carelessness, yet the woman wishes what she heard to be less authoritative and more kind. She retaliates and turns her head away, scuffing...pouting and whispers her dissatisfaction under her breath, but loud enough for the man to listen. The man again...being the authoritative one, demands his views to be Correct and mentions her carelessness once and twice and thrice again, caring less of the woman's feelings and the people who were staring at them then. Whose fault was it?
Was it the man who did not care about manners? Or was it the woman who could not take a critism lightly? Was it the people staring that caused the situation to grow hotter? Or was the response by the man and woman that gave a sharp pinch that both could not accept it?

The situation could have been better dont ya think? Why cant the man tell the woman her carelessness nicely and not raise his voice? A harsh comment exchanges for another not the other way around! What you do to other people is what you'll get back! Its a basic theory that everyone knows! But we see that happening too very often. How sad. =( I as witness...feel so much for both of them as they have invisibly taken a sharp blade and had started to stab at each other unknowingly. The wounds gets bigger as each stab takes place. When people talk about 'internal bleeding', i tell you whats worst than that.... its the 'Soul bleeding'. You cant see it but it keeps bleeding. You loose more of yourself as you choose to throw negative words at people.You cant see through medical lenses... but you can feel it. I'm sure i'm not mentioning something that is alien to anyone. Its something we all go through all the time, dont we?

But how now? Will we die? Does it kill like the physical illness of cancer and aids? I tell you it kills you softly and slowly, till you no longer have the strength to live. ITs a struggle. It haunts the mind...hurts the heart and kills the soul.
Wow.... such horrible truths... but you know.... other than the man and woman.... other people get hurt too. The witnesses will have an impact from that incident. It could bring out the positive or the negative. A witness could say, "There there...told you how careless woman can be, the man is right!" and another witness can depict it as "There is so much miscommunication between them, they do not realize what shame they bring themselves." and another invisible witness could say, " I told you they weren't gonna be good to each other... its a victory that the situation has grown hotter! MuaHaaHaaaa!!!" who could that mad witness be???

Dear God, I understand that i do not have the ability to control or understand the very nature of the human being. But i pray for this couple that You will see them through each day with your grace, love and trust. I pray, that you open their spiritual eyes and ears to see what hurt they have caused each other.I pray that the victory belongs to YOU LORD! and never the devil! i pray that those words of hatred and unkind be changed into words of Forgiveness and Love. I pray that both man and woman will understand the meaning of listening and thinking before speaking. I pray that one day they will speak less horrible words against each other and refuse to take offense of the other. This is prayed as witnesses do get affected and i pray that netiher anyone of those affected will practice the same. In Your Name Jesus, Amen!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Practical living

How when u have a routine lifestyle, yet wanting more than the ordinary, decide to do the opposite of the norm? Practically called to work the land, expecting more as the end of the month arrives, will the harvest be bountiful? Will you actually reap the best? or suffer the failures? Consider it 50-50. You cant determine your future 100%, but you can prepare for it. The results of hard work may never be as satisfying as you want it to be. To accept the things affected is a way to be humble? Or to take courage to fight the obvious truth? What am i talking about????

Its been 3weeks since i started work. I have never thought it will get better. But i still do pray for a good day everyday. and you know what... God listens... and makes me smile =) I face a mixture of nice, smiley, considerate, irritating, bossy, arrogant, smelly, blur, people who think they are filty rich, people who love their parents, people who decide for their children's wealth, people who hate patience, people who are patient, people who speak unknown language, people who are forgiving, people who are not forgiving, people who love to complain, people who share their difficulties, people who share thier experiences, people who were your friends sometime before, people who direct you, people who notice you, people who care to listen to your blurness, people whom you only know by their voice but never seen.... and lots more.

But how can i improve? How can i be more efficient today than yesterday? how can i be more effective to answer the various questions? How can i learn more? How can i not be ignorant or act ignorant? How can i have more friends? how can i offer more than my job requires??? how can i be on the cutting edge? how can i learn all i can that enables me to have some skills that others may not have? how can i improve on my productivity? last but never the least.... how can i improve in my mind and spirit?

I'm putting my dreams aside....probably this moment now is to train me for something greater and bigger? but another side wonders.... you know what if i put my dreams first... i may be very successful... but how will i start? a sacrifice? or obedience?

Anyways... today i thank God that i could get home earlier, with all work done. Today i also thank God that i could have lunch with my dad. I thank God that after the rain the sun came up again. I thank God, that smiles take away people's hurt, fear, doubt, anger, and distrust sometimes.I thank God tomorrow is Friday, and the week is ending quickly. I thank God that there is tomorrow....

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Blogging a promise

hey...i'm pretty alive. Sorrry that my one week's absence turned out far too long. I had reported to work on 1st Sept in a local bank. Taking the post of Customer Service Representative. I practically had to learn from scratch on the various products the bank offers and i had to be the one at the front desk where customers tend to Ask and Ask and Ask! thats why i had not been blogging. I wanted to catch up on my sleep and rest and do other things than sit in front of the comp. I needed the time to adjust to my new life style...but not in a way to forget what i used to do....:) i suppose u understand...i do miss putting up my entries here. I wish i have a job which is less time consuming and more flexibility for creativity. So i'm trying to fill my mind with things more innovative and edifying than sitting in front of the television. I praise God for really... it must be Him who gave me wisdom to adjust and to change. Truly what they say is true..."What u have is what God has given you, What you are is what you can give back to God..."

I made a "promise" to post my pics... here are some of the pics i took at graduation and at the town of Colmar...a much french inspired village that i went to on the hills of Bukit Tinggi, Malaysia. The above pic is my doggy given by an aunty as a graduation present... aint he cute? Enjoy the rest... =)

My scroll awarded to me by the former Prime Minister Dr.Mahatir.

Dad and Mom together with me at the convocation. I miss Tommy!!! (p's: lets promise to be at each other's graduation nex time?)

My final year project mates, Anu and Siew Shan with our finance lecturers, Mr. Val and David. *phew..we almost thought we'd failed our finance papers...hehe...Praise GOD!

My dear roomates when we were staying at Section 17,PJ....May and Jacklyn..Love u galz~!

My housemates...Eason and David....we miss Ben..because he was in the afternoon session so couldnt manage a group photo. We had a couple of fun in the last 5months at Sg.Long...playing computer games, eating our hearts out at the "Chap Fan stall" after class,sometimes we cook and talking all nite and studying all nite...hehe... it was fun...Miss u guys too!

My dearest roomate at Sg.Long. She is sweet, tall and gentle....her mom gave us all a treat when she came to stay for a week. She gave us home cooked food! haha...yeah what to do... our sg.long home seemed deserted from all kinds of pamperment...hehehe...

The Penang girls! haha... we were in the same class back in college in Penang.Ther's Amelia, LeeFung and Aikim.

Notice the twin towers at the background? I edited the pic a lil brighter or u wont see my face. =)

Off with the robe and smarter with the coat...:)

Arriving at Colmar...ish the Malaysian flag gave away where i was.... looks like i'm out of the country eh? definately untrue!

The Beautiful Swans.

These are just some...of the many photos. To view my album, attach email add at comment and i'll send u an invite. =)

Monday, August 22, 2005

A week absence?

Hi all. I will be having a hectic week ahead. I doubt
i will have time to blog and further more, i wont be
taking my ibook along. just to fill you in on whats
keeping me... i will be heading down KL today, later
,and attending a seminar by Bill Wilson, founder and
director of Metro Inner City Children's Campaign. I
hope it will open my mind to what God is doing in
children all across the world with servants like him.
I have signed up for children ministry in my home

On Thursday, the team i am going with will head back
to Pg and i will stay back in KL. What do i do? i wish
to visit somme frens and lecturer and most important,
collect my graduation gown! hooray!
YES i am graduating this coming Sunday at MCA hall. It
will be great to meet all my frens again and take lots
of pictures. I miss everyone!

oh yes, and of course, there is the planet shakers
nite this friday. i hope i am not to miss it.

After which i will be moving all my things from Abby's
house (room) which i left there to bring back to Pg. I
have decided to settle in Pg, not a very favourable
decision, but it was to be for the better. :)

Afterwards, my gracoius loving dad has decided that we
visit this Colmar Bukit Tinggi. Hmmmi saw somme
pictures and they sure look beautiful! hehe... all in
all.... i pray for a good camera to take all my pics,
and enough storage space for all occasions! i trust u
will be missing me throughout this week hor?
hehe... leave me notes,hugs and kisses and tag me
anytime... i will be back!

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Just another passing day?

I have been without a thought, missing someone and felt ii have missed out something in my life. Why did i let go? Why wasn't I determine? Why couldn't i just be loyal and be such a fool to this day? How can i face Him? Will I be forgiven? Have i the right to be forgiven? I am 'always' afraid of my repetitous habits. I dont want to say I'm sorry and soon find out i have done it again. I feel embarassed, yet so ignorant. Now i am ashamed. Where are my guts? How can i forgive myself and begin to treasure this relationship? Is forgiveness enough? Have i earned His trust? Will He be able to trust me again? Will i fail Him again? That is my greatest fear...........................

Dear God, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, for it is You that I miss.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Wacky Red and Silly Green.....

Dear readers,

You are about to enter into my mind now ....imagine You are in a hot environment, horrible pressure in the room, the air is getting thinner, you feel as though a screw driver is digging into the side of your head, grinding disturbing noise, Sharp Intense Pain! ArgGH@#! "Whats wrong with me???!"


ok alrite.....i'm no JK Rowlings or dont start comparing me with them! haha...the capacity of words do not overwhelm me like their's do.....However, these are some words I wish to describe my condition. Take a look at this pathetically amusing critter picture ABOVE.... I do not presume myself looking like that... but it sure gives u a way to have creative imaginary thinking. Dont ya think? Actually its very funny...Lolz...found it while browsing.

For your information, I am not suffering from any Mental Depression. I have no desire to kill myself. I am NOT SUICIDAL! So what am i talking about?.....My eyes are seriously red from wearing my contacts too long. i tried taking a picture of it to post it here but nothing beats this pathetic critter's red eyes...lolz...and it sure does look well... let me continue...

I'm writing this in a room so very HOT! It rained, but the earth has swallowed it all, and the weather still heats up. Pressure in the room....imagine pressure cooker, and it begins to sizzle and whistle and drops of water rolls down the lid of the it is with me with drops of sweat. The air is getting thinner....why the HAZE of course@! Where oh where is the clean fresh air???

Next, the screw driver? haha.. its the splitting headache i'm getting now for the late nites i've been staying up. Ever tried staying up too many nights till you want to vomit? yeah...i did before but the headache comes as first warning. Heed it or fail having a good meal. The pain stings like a bee on one side of my head. I get grumpy and irritated easily..."hey kiddo"...why like that??? "I cant help it"...try I will...

Grinding disturbing noise? well not exactly grinding....recognise the sound of plastic being blown at? by wind or the fan? it makes the "shah shah" sound..and sometimes....its irritating...u may not agree....some may vent about the "Ticking sounds of the clock."- well not if u dont wind the Clock~Duh...... hehe

The intense"Oh, darn the mosquitoes! hahha... its getting me itchy all over!

so whatcha think of my descriptive venting?
haha....Roll your eyes and comment all you want! its another late nite but i'm ready for you! hehe

Saturday, August 13, 2005

HAze is HERE!!!

Omigosh! I woke up 6am and the haze has already ARRIVED! arghhhhh~~~~ not nice man... it smells like somethings burning. And yes thats a picture taken outside my house. You seems to give me the creepy feeling...i hope the Haze leaves us soon, now i can imagine how the situation is like in KL few days ago. I wonder....where does all the haze go to in the end? Do they drown in the rain?...if there is rain lah...A little advise... get a mask and take care of yourself.

I hope that on my convocation...they wont have to cancel it because of the haze.... i mean... hopefully the situation doesnt worsen. God Bless Malaysia!

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Your Superhero Persona
by couplandesque
Your Name
Superhero NameCaffeine Boy
Super PowerSevere Mood Swings
EnemyClear Channel
Mode Of TransportationMotorcycle
WeaponA Stapler
Quiz created with MemeGen!

What in the world is this? Haha...i could use a stapler ...Again got this site from Mun_z.

If u have a it...

Tuesday, August 09, 2005


Hi Wonderful people!

I have decided to change into a new look... well of course the blog only lah~ i havent done any plastic surgery k... and nope i havent changed my hairstyle...hmm...'that' i am still thinking of whether to cut my hair after or before my graduation....hmm...comments? haha...

Ahh well... i love your feedback on my new look~ Pls feel free to leave comments! i Will do my best to improve further... now with all the time i have to go online and all..shh.... *whines*...I dont want to go to work....

Yeah about my latest update on getting a job... i have been called for yet another interview this afternoon...Accounts assistant? i dont think i am cut out for this.... Lord,... just let me through this interview...for better or for know i would prefer to other things.... Oh well.. Inspirations come from God and His plans are always better than mine...^SALUTE!>

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Gazzing at the wonderful pictures...

I'm far better now. Still coughing out green phlegm. Had been browsing since yesterday on other awesome blogs. Currently stuck with Bridget's and really want to say there are really good inspirations going on everywhere, just dont sit at home and grumble about how life sucks. sorry for the harsh words. take the time to stroll in a park or walk at the beach. Relax... God is in control. Who is in a better position to inspire our creativity? than the awesome Work of God in everyone you meet and everywhere you go. Love awaits you.

These are some pictures taken in my Sabah,Pitas mission trip this June.
Love it...Love it!

The above pic shows a white church building atop a small hill overlooking the beautiful greens. The villagers pull some money together to build it. I really love it. This is one village we had to drive deep through bumpy terrains to reach them. On the left, is where the 'kampung' they stay in. It hadn't rain for a few days/months, the square container is where they store their water.

Some of us resting before the night service. From left, there is Sam,Amanda and Michel. I miss you guys!
Below, is the place we stayed at the most. Its in the middle of a paddy field. They quote it the "Thousand Stars Hotel!" Lolz...bcoz we have to bath under the stars with no walls around us! yupps... it was fun...wanna know how we did it?.... haha.... not telling..... =P

Samuel, Jeff, Roque and I having a fun time with the children at one of the village...also there was Amanda who taught on the story of David and Goliath, but she ain't in the picture. There was one point the kids started to sing this song," Ya, Bapa, ini aku anakMu, pakailah sesuai dengan rencanaMu..." in the middle of playtime. It means, " Dear Father, this is I, Your child, help me to walk in Your ways." Roque had it recorded in his digicam. Awesome...we were startled and more blessed than ever.

Some more pics of the kids from Kampung Pitas, who were so quick to learn the games the guys taught them and were very cheerful. Some of these girls were caught singing Britney Spears under the house at the paddy fields...haha... and u thought these kids live on trees! The local language they speak here is Rungus. Something similar to Malay.
The next pic from Kampung Narandang, where i gave a testimony of my injured thumb...hehe...There's Power in JEsus NAME!
And these kids got stuck with me throughout the service! haha...they were so cute. they kept bringing in little flowers from outside. Roque gave a good message that nite and God moved tremendously! Praise the Lord!

The pastoral team that lead us. Pastor Jik Tai, Pastor Thomas (my bro) and Pastor Peridol and family. Without them, we will be lost ! haha....yeah... they brought us and were with us throughout our experience in Sabah. Thank you Oh so much!!!

Team Photo!!! Only naming the team from left ; Sidney, Jeff, Thomas, Michel, Roque, Amanda, Me, Florence, Sam and Samuel.